To not know what I’m doing - first time mum

[Birminghambabe]

Please tell me I’m not the only one who has or had no idea what they’re doing with newborn. I’m learning day by day but feel totally exhausted, unorganised and full of anxiety.

I guess this isn’t so much of a AIBU but posting here because I’m struggling and want reassurance and any advice that this is normal and it’s not just me. Right now I feel like I’m totally out of my depth. Baby is only 7 days old

Oh god yes 7 days is right in the thick of 'what have I done with my life' mode. First 2 weeks are hideous. It will slowly slowly get better and you will get in the swing of it. It is such a shock at first isn't it ?

@Questionsforyou Baby didn’t sleep all night and I had a moment of “am I cut up to do this” despite wanting a child for years I feel completely lost!

At seven days, you only need to focus on "everybody fed, nobody dead". You're recovering from the physical and mental effects of pregnancy and birth - and it's hard to recover, because you're not getting much sleep or time to yourself!

I think everyone feels out of their depth sometimes. Feeling full of anxiety all the time might be a bit of postpartum depression starting though? Have you talked with your midwife about how you're feeling? Perinatal mental health services are usually excellent and quite well funded so there is help out there if you need it. It's also very common, and nothing to be ashamed of 🙂

@Birminghambabe 100% it’s so overwhelming. I wanted to run away at one point as it felt so scary and like I didn’t know what I was doing. You will be okay as will baby but if it persists or feels like it’s getting on top of you talk to your midwife or health visitor. There was a good episode on BBC sounds recently about maternity mental health services and women’s experiences of accessing them. But that said what you’re describing does sound very normal feelings to have.

(bbc sounds woman’s hour I should have said)

On the first one.
I didn't have a clue.

He just cried for 3 months straight. Colic, reflux, wind. It was constant.

When I had my first , I'd never even held a baby before. You learn on the job !
congratulations btw .