Male member of staff too friendly with female students

[Namechanged17283]

Have name changed for this. Am questioning my judgment. Please be kind. Am so unsure.

Male member of staff in school. I too am a member of staff. I just feel uncomfortable with the attention he gives female children.

Eg making them jump by grabbing a girls shoulders from behind. Commenting on how lovely they look. Eg their hair. Has only been a handful of occasions but I've felt uncomfortable each time.

He's been there so long and is very well trusted.

Primary school.

It could just be that he's a bit awkward socially. He does seem a bit that way.

Just my spidery senses are alerted when I see these things.

Opinions gratefully received.

Yes, this is inappropriate.

Your school should have a Low Level Concerns policy. Follow it.
(NB Low level concern does not mean less of a concern, but rather means does not pose an immediate threat and does not meet the harms threshold, but still requires investigation and may require additional support and training for the colleague to ensure they are following policy and expectations).

PS- keep your reports purely factual- exactly what was said, exactly what happened, where and when. Not what you thought about it, how it seemed, your interpretation etc.

I was groomed at primary school. Thankfully nothing actually happened but all the touching and compliments was how it started. Please report.

Go and see the head teacher first thing tomorrow.

I work in a school and this has been drummed into us from day 1. Any concern, no matter how inconsequential you think it is, tell someone.

It might be innocent, it might not be. But position of trust breaches are so serious they are always dealt with initially by the head/principal.

You must speak to DSL. Do it when you go in tomorrow. If you get the "Oh he's known and trusted - we know him well - it's all fine" line, then go to safeguarding governor.

Thanks for the comments. Has helped

Basic SG rule
Never do nothing

If it was so innocent, why just the girls? He is being very inappropriate.

Every school has a creepy male (usually) teacher. They focus on their chosen pretty girls, pay them extra attention. Most of the chosen girls hate it, but some, frequently with unhappy home lives, lap up the attention. It is more dangerous at secondary level. The rest of the students cotton on to it very quickly. Sir being in his room before school helping chosen one with hw, etc. Difficult for school to tackle teacher without evidence, and groomed children back up teacher, until they are older and realise what happened.

It’s probably not that deep but if it feels weird then definitely tell the boss/head. It’s your legal duty and even if there’s nothing wrong then at least you can rest assured you didn’t ignore it.

OP please do not do this. Do not speak to him about it. Report it with specific examples, to the safeguarding lead and let them deal with it. That is the correct procedure.

Excellent advice.

FFS I hope you don’t really work in a school if you’re this clueless. Or are you hoping people share ‘this is what happened to me’ tales on here?

I had a teacher visit me in primary before I went up to secondary. He taught me science in year 7 but that was it. He always gave me the creeps. Always happy to see me. When I left year 11 he said I remember meeting you at primary! He made me feel sick.
Anyway a few years ago he got struck off for guess what sexual activity with an underage girl! It was in the news, I literally said to my husband I knew it!

I would keep an eye on him for now and if there's any evidence or event that happens then report to the head.

Trust your intuition more @Namechanged17283

He could be just socially Arkward or it could be more sinister than that, worst fear,

Either one reason or even both reason. !

It's totally inappropriate behaviour 😳

Not acceptable .

Report to senior staff head Teacher and child welfare safety personnel

@pickledandpuzzled

Really intelligent and insightful Advice that you have given. !

I am glad that you have decided to do the right thing and report your concerns to the DSL.

I am concerned that it took a MN thread to give you the confidence to do it. Your safeguarding training should have been absolutely explicit on this.

@QueefQueen80s

That's a extremely good point to make what you said. !

Time to refresh your Safeguarding training! Seriously I find it odd that you are posting on here for advice and not even going to your DSL.

These little things can be hard to report because it can feel like you haven’t quite got something to be concretely concerned about so you don’t want to overreact or get an innocent person in trouble.

The best way to reassure yourself that you’re doing the right thing is to remind yourself that observing it made you uncomfortable - more than once - and at the very least, some boundaries need to be formally established.

Reporting any child protection concern at all is important because then you have the peace of mind that you did what you needed to do which was look out for the child first and the adult second.

When adults have trusted access to children and show signs of inappropriate interaction, however minor they might be, raising a concern will never be the wrong thing to do.

I’ve been in your situation (just an older child), had the same pang of worry in case he was innocent but did report it.

Exactly. Can’t believe someone working with children is posting on here for safeguarding advice, risking being given incorrect information such as this post here 🤦‍♀️

SG is everyone’s responsibility. Trust your gut. If there’s nothing amiss there’s nothing to worry about. In any event girls need to learn they’re valued for more than their looks.
Also document your conversation with HT / other and tell them you are. Don’t regret your desire to keep everyone safe - that’s the point.

You should know this from safeguarding training? Report it according to your school's rules.