AIBU to think that statistically it feels like good relationships are rare?

[ThatFraggle]

Finding a good relationship seems statistically impossible.

1. You want someone who you like as a person.

1. And they like you back.

1. And your values are compatible.

1. And your religious and political views are compatible, or at least tolerable.

1. They have the emotional maturity to navigate a relationship. AND

They have done work to resolve past traumas, family issues, past hurts, etc.

1. They are financially solvent and can manage money in a healthy way.

1. You find them physically attractive, and they find you the same.

1. They are competent in cooking/cleaning and they carry their own weight when it comes to housework.

It seems like a needle on a haystack situation to find that, and that if relationships met those criteria then 90% of people would be single or in meaningless hook ups.

Of my married friends, most of them are happy. I had a friend who was very unhappy and left her husband. I have one other who is unhappy and says she plans to leave once DC have left home. But the rest are like DH and me. Compatible, active, do lots of stuff together, respect each other. At least that's how they come across.

I don't think these relationships are rare, more that people in good relationships don't feel the need to post or talk about them so they go under the radar.

My DH ticks all of these boxes, and I would say the majority of our friends are also in good relationships. MN defintely gives you a skewed perception!

I have one of those rare relationships and I am very lucky indeed.

If I ever end up single I fully accept that’s it for me as that was the one I could be bothered with. Of all my friends and relatives I know one other couple who appear like this.

All of this is true of me too except the last bit. I'm surrounded by stable, apparently good relationships (though I realise one can never know what goes on behind closed doors). No divorces or marital strife as far as I can tell in dh's or my family, and all our friends seem to be happily married (only one has been divorced but is now happily remarried). We are late 40s early 50s.

YABU.
I know many, many couples who would fulfil your list.
As others have said, you just don't see threads about them or hear your friends talking about them.
I mean, obviously no-one is perfect, but in a loving and equal relationship, couples work round little niggles and don't make them into dramas.