Crossing the line?

[Crossinsomekindaline]

Hi, DD11 is in year 6 at a small village school.

This year a new teacher started in her class. Friendly early 30s male. Seems like a nice chap. All the kids love him.

My partner (also female) made an observation recently that she feels his behaviour with the kids (and especially the girls) is potentially inappropriate.

Just some observations:

• Showed the kids pics on his Facebook profile of him doing a recent charity mountain climb. Kids now know his Facebook id.

• Engages in teasing banter with the kids in his class but especially the girls.

• has arranged special afterschool Sat's preparation for the half dozen year 6 kids. This was just him in attendance. My DD said he made the kids hot chocolate and they mostly sat around on cushions bantering.

So, Aibu to think he's crossing some kind of line here, or is this just normal acceptable behaviour from a teacher that's dedicated to the kids in his class?

I don't think he's grooming them or whatever, but now my partners brought it up I'm a little uncomfortable with the familiarity and considering having a word with the head.

Girls not field!

OP - that teacher from your childhood sounds horrific, I'm sorry you were around this and he sounds vile.

Please dont let this colour your judgeent of all male teachers. What you've described is so far from crossing a line it is unbelievable, and I'm genuinely concerned that going to the head even crossed your mind - that could finish this poor bloke who, from what you've said, sounds like a great teacher who goes above and beyond

I'm guessing you wouldn't have these concerns if the teacher were female?

@FranklySonImTheGaffer The reality is that males are far more likely to be sexual abusers than females. I wish it weren't so, but it is. So if OP/her partner are more guarded about a male, that's rational.

@Crossinsomekindaline I don't think he's done anything wrong yet but you could keep an eye on it. And have a word with the head if you like. There's nothing wrong with raising a concern and it might help the teacher be even better.

That banter sounds completely normal, as so all the other things you've brought up.

I'm genuinely concerned that going to the head even crossed your mind - that could finish this poor bloke

@MXVIT I don't think so. The head would just tell him to be a bit more reserved/conventionally professional or something.

@porridgeisbae

" I don't think he's done anything wrong yet but you could keep an eye on it."

Yet??? Fucking hell.

And keep an eye on what exactly?? A teacher being a good teacher?

This bloke needs to move to a school that isnt chocker with parents waiting to catch him out.

I wouldn't be happy with him commenting negatively on girls' appearances tbh. They get enough pressure from the rest of society, without their class teacher adding more.

He sounds like a great , committed, teacher who cares about his pupils. Jokes and fun help them learn better.

My DDs P7 teacher is a younger male, lots of light hearted chat, very supportive of his pupils, very easy relationships in the class room and yes has arranged pizza as a reward for a particular piece of collective work. I’m delighted she has such a relaxed teacher for her final primary year. No lines crossed, and I can’t see any lines crossed in your description either - in upper primary it’s important that they have good relationships with their teachers.

It all sounds fine to me and typically standard, our village school sounds similar, all the teachers are really lovely and one of the male teachers is great with all the kids, he also joins in with their banter but it’s just silly conversation that the kids have, he also showed them pictures of his travels when he went away on holiday. He is one of the best teachers in the school!

This is why there are so few male primary school teachers. Everything is under extra scrutiny and suspicion.