My late fathers will

[Lifeswhatyoumakeit73]

My dad died last year in December. He had a Will and left a nominal sum in it to me & my brother. My stepmother & the children they had inherited the majority of the estate- 2 houses, all the money. That isn’t the issue though.

My dad told us that there was provision in the will - £50k each for me & my brother. Since he died my stepmother won’t talk about it, won’t tell us where the will is, won’t talk about probate- any of it. It basically feels like she doesn’t want us to have the money. I don’t really understand it to be honest- she is financially set up for life, her kids will get the houses & the money. My Dad just left this amount for me & my brother (our mum is alive so we will inherit her house)

Do we have legal rights? Surely if it was written in a will then she can’t withhold that money.

It’s really upsetting to be honest as my Dad spoke to us about it before he died- he wanted us to have it and was clear it was in the Will. But she won’t tell us anything - not even the solicitor.

I don’t want to sound grabby- she’s had everything & her kids will get all they need too. It’s just upsetting as it’s what my dad wanted & he was very clear about the will & I don’t know what to do.

Is the money in one bank or multiple?

You can contact the bank(s) to dispute the personal representative (the person selected to speak with the bank, doesn't have to be the executor) which can put a hold on things moving out of the bank if the accounts are not in joint names.

It's also possible to change the PR to yourself or brother. I would call their bereavement teams and tell them the scenario.

Please note that banks do not get involved with wills etc but if you suspect foul play they're obliged to take your concerns seriously.

Honestly I think the executor system should be demolished. At the moment, anyone , with no credentials, can be made executor. And often the executor does not have the beneficiary's best interest at heart.

I think that only a qualified solicitor should be allowed to be executor.

When my dad died four years ago, he made my uncle executor, and me as beneficiary.

My uncle was so cruel and nasty to me throughout the whole process, it led me to have a breakdown.

Sorting out the estate went on for three years and he was nasty to me for the whole three years.

I still have panic attacks over it all. It's a horrible process.

I can feel your stress. I remember I felt that way at the start .

Stand up to her. You're entitled to a copy of the will.

Only if the solicitor is also an executor.

At the moment, anyone , with no credentials, can be made executo

aside from the deceased having trusted them.

and “often” they don’t have their best interests involved…. Evidence? Source?

To be fair her papers were very well organised DH worked hard to get it all summarised...

Are you on good terms with any of the other family members? Can you get them to help?

We have already been waiting for 6 months on my dad’s, there are long delays at the moment.

Do you not see all the stories on the news about families battling over wills? About families falling out over wills.

You said "apart from the deceased having trusted them".

It's not about trust. Its that if you make one family member executor, and another family member beneficiary, there is a conflict of interest.

First of all, in this instance, the executor often withholds information from the beneficiary. As they enjoy the power.

See in the OP's case, the executor has not told her anything about what's in the will.

It was the same when my father died. My uncle was executor. He would not tell me what was in the will for about five months. I spent months asking him. He enjoyed knowing and not telling me.

I hated having my uncle as executor. He enjoyed having power over and abusing me.

The same way that the executor of the OP is not telling her anything that is happening .

If a solicitor had been executor, it would have been a much easier process for me.

@Timesawastin - MIL died in October and we are still going through probate. Papers went in during November. She was a widow, dh her only child and she had a very simple estate. Depends where you live I think.

As someone who works in probate, this will very much have been an exception.

Can anyone explain why there is an executor in these instances.

From my experience, and from many other people's experience, the executor just makes your life a misery, after the person dies.

Shouldn't it be standard, that professional solicitor should administer the will, for a professional fee.

Why are executors involved at all

Use the above online service to find which solicitors actually did the will and then contact them independently. State that you are aware you are a beneficiary but that your step mother is refusing to speak with you and you are worried about her withholding your inheritance.

appoint your own solicitor if needed.

"the deceased will have trusted them".

That not true. Many people just pick their siblings/partner to be executor, because they are their next of kin.

They don't sit down and think "hey my sibling/partner is an extremely trustworthy man", they just choose their sibling to be executor, as they have no one else to do it.

Siblings and partners are people. And many of these people abuse their power when they are made executor.

Especially when money is involved, people abuse their power.

That is why I cannot understand why the executor system is in place. Hey let's make a family member have legal control over a lot of money.

Only a qualified solicitor should be executor.

I have never gotten over what my uncle did to me as executor. I still can't sleep well at night over it all

@Timesawastin i guess that was because you wabted to get on with distributing the estate and were lucky that the probate office were efficient. You must have had your application in the month she died to do it in 3 and can't have bothered advertising. Not everyone feels like that. I didn't apply for probate for over a year for my mothers estate and i was sole beneficiary for a 6 figure estate. Op's stepmother has lost her husband. She may not feel lime prioritising the estate and whilst she can't sit on it forever 5 months is not an excessive period. A certain building society took months to come back to me formally as they kept changing their KYC requirements.

Depending on ow the will is written op and brother may get £100k of residual estate after properties that are passing directly - and there might not be any residual estate once the IHT is paid. I would be mad as hell with my dh if i had to sell my home to pay int to enable my step children to recieve a cash sum.

Solicitors and banks charge very high fees for administering wills, often eating into the estate substantially. There is every reason for them to delay too, as they get more money the longer it goes on.

No system is perfect.

Executors are legally obliged to carry out the instructions in the will, they can't vary according to their own wishes.

If you discover, once probate has been granted and the will is in the public realm, thar your SM has not behaved legally, you'll need to take her to court. Bummer, I know.

There's a time limit to apply for probate after the person's death although I can't remember what it is

there isn't a time limit to apply for probate, but its not easy to sort out stuff without applying for probate. Bank accounts with large (for smaller amounts probate isn[t always needed) amounts of cash probate is needed, stock and shares probate is needed, changing the deeds on a house probate is needed

Many people do complete probate themselves rather than use the solicitor or probate company

If you are mentioned in the Will then I think you are allowed a copy. Can you have a solicitor draw up a letter to ask for a copy of the Will from the executor?

When probate is granted, you can get details of the solicitor from the probate office for a small fee. Our uncle died without a Will and we were told by a family friend the remaining Aunts and Uncle intended to leave us out, our father the brother of this bunch had died ten years prior.

Then contact said solicitor. I'd speak to the probate office and ask how you obtain details, I can't remember because it's over twenty years ago, but we did get our rightful share.

Exactly the same here. All assets already liquidated and four sibling beneficiaries. It’s stupidly slow.

Solicitors don't charge high fees. I'm looking at a solicitor near me. He charges a 2% flat fee.

I would much rather have paid that to a solicitor, then deal with my uncle as executor. My uncle made my life hell when he was executor. For three years.

I honestly felt suicidal after dealing with him for three years.

The executor system is ridiculous.

See how the OP can't even find out the most basic information, because the executor is withholding it from her.

CharlotteStreetW1

as someone who dealt with the probate office - I found them the most helpful government department ever

Solicitors don't charge high fees I paid £under £300 for probate against £2000 for a solicitor to do probate with me as the exutorec

I disagree - my father made the error of making his solicitor the sole executor. His will was simple but the process took forever due to delays and fuck ups by the solicitor. At one stage we took the probate forms prepared by the solicitor the probate office to save time and they were rejected as the solicitor had made a tippex correction to one of them.

Solicitors already have a licence to print money for all sorts of processes that would be simple in any civilised country, we don't need them gouging us for any more.

Do you think she is trying to spend the cash? If this is the case it will come to light, but some people when it comes to money are not very educated and she may think she will get away with it.

Yes but the solicitor can't emotionally abuse you.

I'd rather deal with a slow incompetent solicitor,

Then a family member as executor, who often enjoys emotionally abusing and withholding information from the beneficiary .

At least with a solicitor there will be no family fall outs.

I know so many people in families that fell out and never spoke again because the executor and beneficiary were in the same family .

My uncle was executor. I will never ever speak to my uncle again, after what he did to me as executor.

After the whole process, I honestly felt like taking my own life.

And I've heard other people say the same

I was just talking to one woman I know. Her fatber died. Her family have all fallen out and are not talking to each other, because of the executors (in the family) abusing the other members of the family.