I don't think I am

[bunny278]

Hi

I'm nearly 50, my Mum is still a live but I've had very very little contact since she left when I was 9. However I do 7/10 get a birthday card which means a lot to me and I look forward to it every year.

This year I don't think it's coming due to an upset with an estranged brother that door stepped me this year resulting in me having a breakdown I guess you'd call it. It's tomorrow and I know it's not coming (the card) but I'm so gutted but I can't tell my partner as he will try so hard to take my mind off it and make it a lovely day and I know that's the important bit. But I'm devastated and ashamed in equal measures and wanted to get it out.

The hurt you are feeling is palpable from your post. It sounds as though you have a partner who loves you. I hope that is some consolation. Nothing will take away the hurt though of years of emotional neglect from your mother. I have no idea about her character or what drove her to leave you, so although it is hard for me to understand such actions I do not think it will help you for me, a stranger, to cast a judgment upon her. What I can say is that given your mother has a track record of (usually) sending you a card, you can be fairly sure she will be thinking about you tomorrow; whether or not she sends anything.

Is it possible for you to contact her? Even for some “closure”? Have you considered therapy? It sounds as though you could really do with a professional to help you process your justifiable hurt.

i feel for you very much and wish you well.

As the relationships with your dm and db seem very difficult in your shoes I'd let this one go.
Both are behaving badly but they are showing you who they are with their behaviour. Enjoy your day with dp and have fun 💐