To wonder whats fair in this scenario

[hofy29]

Parent A (dad) has son (son 1) from previous.
Son 1 lives with mum sees dad weekends and 1 night in week

Parent B (mum) has son (son 2) from previous.
Son 2 lives with mum & parent A (stepdad) doesn't have relationship with dad at all.

Parent A has stepped into the "father role" for son2. Has been for the past 2 years.

Parent A doesn't volunteer to do anything with son2 or buy son2 anything but does both for son1.

Im gathering its dad guilt because he doesn't live with son1.

Son1 gets at least 1 treat a week from his dad, son2 never gets anything from him.

My question is, is this current setup fair on the basis that parent a is now helping to raise son2? Or should that be separate to any treats/quality time as it was his choice to raise son2.

Not sure of the answer, but its important that Dad spends time with his son, and he shouldn't have to feel like he always has to do this with stepson too. But stepping into the parent role you'd expect him to spend some time with him.

Dad guilt seems like an unnecessarily negative way to phrase it. He is allowed to do things with or treat his son though, particularly when he doesn’t get to see him as often as he likes.

Does he agree that he is actively the father role or is that just how you see it?

In the light of your explanation how parent A treats son2, what do you mean by Parent A has stepped into the "father role" for son2. Has been for the past 2 years

Doesn't sound to me as if he is treating your child as his son.

Which is fair enough, really

Well he is not treating your son as a father is he, and I think that sums it up

he may be a male figure in his life but it’s not a father figure. If he doesn’t want to buy your child stuff fair enough, you can treat your son and not his

How often do you treat your son v his son?