To wish PIL hadn't told me this?

[cherryredretrochick]

OMG,
I went to stay with my IL's last week with dd's, we had a fab time but after a few drinks my FIL told me (in context of a conversation not out of the blue) that they had an abortion when my MIL was 40.
Said they did it as they were worried for heath of baby with MIL being 40 (although she she 35 when she had SIL), they then told me they had had no tests or anything, so didn't really know if even increased risk of any helath probs.
My PIL are very wealthy and had there parents aat home to look after children, both worked full time. Later in the same conversation the fact that the child would still have been at uni when FIL retired was mentioned.
Thing is I would really not like dh to know this and I don't really want to carry round secrets. I wish they had not told me, I can't help looking at them with less respect now, I know it was their decisions but they know my opinions and that we would love more children but are not able.

I think YABU.

They are obviously close to you and feel like they can share this info with them. You should stop being so judgemental and maybe consider the fact that it was possibly a difficult decision but one they made because it was right for them.

I don't think its any of dhs business what his parents did tbh. Fil told you about it after a few drinks, i'd just forget i'd heard it. I don't think its a big deal and shouldn't be turned into one.

I wonder if your PIL's don't know that your dh doesn't know. I have older half-siblings whose mother (long dead now) lost a baby boy before either of them were born. It's something I've known about since I was a teenager yet my bro didn't find out until he was about 50yo. It hadn't been deliberately kept from him, it was just that everyone assumed it was common family knowledge.

I really don't think the OP is being judgemental. She just wishes she didn't know and didn't have the condundrum regarding secrets from her husband.

I discovered my Dh's grandparents lost children through still-birth before he did, and it was a very unpleasant thing to carry alone for a while before I did eventually tell him. No judging involved.