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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

cheeky or am I being precious?

104 replies

elephanys · 09/05/2023 15:15

Neighbour asked to borrow our mower… they have a reasonable size lawn and apparently theirs has broken and they are ‘in the process’ of sorting a new one.

OP posts:
BigglyBee · 09/05/2023 16:12

My mower needs to be mounted on a tractor, so I wouldn't lend it, except to one person who always takes great care of borrowed machinery and sends it back in better condition than they got it. I don't have a lawn any more, but I have a strimmer which I use for between the vegetable beds and that sort of thing. It cost a lot of money and is easily damaged, so I might lend that out, but I'd be really careful who to. The person most likely to ask is my nephew, who is lovely but an absolute calamity with anything mechanical. I would lend him the strimmer, but insist I also lent the operator!

Has the mower been serviced yet? How expensive and easily damaged is it? Does the neighbour usually speak to you, or do they ignore you? Do they have form for damaging or not returning things? Are you likely to need a favour from them? I might wonder how long the "process" of getting a new mower might take - surely that's a fairly quick job unless finances mean that you might not get the mower back before you need it.

Actually, I've just remembered the last time I lent a mower to anyone, and I've changed my opinion. My father borrowed a cheap hover mower which I had used my last money to buy (I was broke largely because a condition of my relationship with my parents was working for them for nothing). He used the mower, then refused to return it. After a month or so, he left it out in the rain and yelled at me because my mower was crap and had stopped working (this was after I had brought up the subject of maybe needing it back at some point).

I'm not sure if I think that lending a mower is a bad idea, or just that having abusive, violent parents is best avoided. It's been a long week and it's only Tuesday! Perhaps lend it unless this is the first time they have bothered to speak to you, or say "No need, I'll do it for you" so you know it will return.

TheMoops · 09/05/2023 16:12

I don't understand why this is cheeky?

BigglyBee · 09/05/2023 16:13

Goodness, I had no idea that I had such a lot of feelings about lawnmowers!

Orange1992 · 09/05/2023 16:15

Well what did you respond at the time and how easy would it be to say no? the only way I can think is if you say your dp is precious about it so wouldnt agree

1offnamechange · 09/05/2023 16:18

Not cheeky at all as a first request - makes sense they want to take advantage of a rare sunny day (at least where I live there hasn't been more than 1 dry day in a row yet in the last month so my lawn is more like a meadow) but when they go to do it notice mower is broken so ask a neighbour rather than rushing down to b and q or wherever immediately. Or as pps have said they are waiting for payday.

Different if they don't replace it and keep asking but as a one off request i don't see any issue with it?

If occasionally borrowing household items isn't appropriate what does come under friendly neighbourly interaction? I would think that's a bare minimum!

ZacharinaQuack · 09/05/2023 16:18

I don't think it sounds cheeky but I sometimes lend my neighbour my car, my garage, my house (if they need somewhere quiet to work and I'm out) etc. They'd do the same for me.

Theblacksheepandme · 09/05/2023 16:20

I am a firm believer of Neither a borrower nor a lender be.

Wilkolampshade · 09/05/2023 16:21

@BigglyBee You have my sympathies. Similar stories spark from just about every memory of my parents..
One of the worst things about this kind of relationship is how it taints everything, even mundane stuff.

OP on the face of it you're being precious.

Napoleonsjosephine · 09/05/2023 16:23

You need to explain more, how’s it cheeky? Do hate each other or something?

ComeTheFuckOnBridgett · 09/05/2023 16:24

I don't understand this but me and our neighbours borrow garden things if we don't have it quite often in the summer.

lizzielizard · 09/05/2023 16:27

Unless there's a part of this story we haven't heard about yet, you are being unreasonable and very unneighbourly.

TheShellBeach · 09/05/2023 16:32

Is there a huge backstory to this?
I don't see why you can't be neighbourly and lend them the mower.
What difference will it make to you?

TheShellBeach · 09/05/2023 16:33

Theblacksheepandme · 09/05/2023 16:20

I am a firm believer of Neither a borrower nor a lender be.

That generally refers to money, though.

CabernetSauvignon · 09/05/2023 16:34

Assuming you don't want to lend your mower, why not? Are you using it at the moment?

IncompleteSenten · 09/05/2023 16:35

Depends entirely on your relationship with them.

I loaned one neighbour a car.
I have another neighbour I wouldn't lend a teaspoon of salt.

JenniferBarkley · 09/05/2023 16:36

Very normal request from a neighbour.

Iwasafool · 09/05/2023 16:37

IncompleteSenten · 09/05/2023 16:35

Depends entirely on your relationship with them.

I loaned one neighbour a car.
I have another neighbour I wouldn't lend a teaspoon of salt.

Or their relationship with the lawnmower. I mean I hate mine so it wouldn't worry me but if you have a close and loving relationship it is a bit different isn't it.

BitOutOfPractice · 09/05/2023 16:40

I don't think it's remotely CF-ish

SinglePonders · 09/05/2023 16:40

It’s not ’unneighbourly’ to not borrow things FFS!

If you don’t to, then don’t.
YANBU

Whichnumbers · 09/05/2023 16:44

youre being mean, either say no or lend it to them - no drama

wistfullyfocused · 09/05/2023 16:45

Christ some neighbourhoods must be miserable as fuck

Butchyrestingface · 09/05/2023 16:46

Did the cheeky, cheeky bastards actually dare to enter your garden, approach your front door and ... ring the bell in order to make this request, OP? WITHOUT first receiving a Royal Summons?

Fetch the fucking blunderbuss and take aim whilst you've still got hands. Today, it's borrow your lawnmower, tomorrow it will be smother you in your sleep, bury you below the patio and move into your home.

TheChosenTwo · 09/05/2023 16:47

Struggling (and failing) to see how this could be construed in any possible was as being cheeky 🧐

Sugarfree23 · 09/05/2023 16:51

As a one off its fine. They might be buying 2nd hand or need to wait for their new one to be delivered

Neighbours- everybody needs good neighbours...

MargaretThursday · 09/05/2023 16:52

Goodness, not cheeky at all.
I'd probably be "cheeky" back and ask them to do ours first. 🤣

But I know mine would lend me theirs too.