To not be enjoying working part time …

[Bluerhododendron]

In so many ways it should be the answer to everything but it isn’t.

I am a teacher, so getting through the curriculum is a real challenge. For instance, today we started a poem, I now won’t see that group until next Monday, so by then they’ll probably have forgotten it! Collecting homework and structuring the course is so hard.

My ‘days off’ with small children are of course not relaxing at all and I seem to spend them desperately trying to fill our time. Toddler classes are good but seem to be mornings only and I struggle with filling afternoons. Then, because I’m part time I feel like the majority of housework and the like falls on me. We do have a cleaner but again with children this age the house can look like it has been ransacked within a day of her sorting it, and I’m actually finding making sure everything is tidy for the cleaner a bit of a source of stress!

It’s easy to say ‘well go back full time then!’ But that then means children in FT childcare which probably isn’t ideal and also will be a whole other layer of wraparound care problems when they start school!

is this just ‘mum life’? I suspect it is …

It is. There is no magic panacea. Days off with small kids are just as tiring as a day at work. Those pre school years are really tough.

But… things get immeasurably better as they get older and more independent. And school hours creates some ‘give’ if you continue to work part time. You can get some drudge done but also grab some much needed down time while the kids at school. I use it to go to the gym, do any ‘fun’ shopping, see friends etc. or just read a book! And my partner then does those things in the evenings wi though guilt as I’ve had down time at other times.

it does get better. Hang in there!

*Without guilt

Over the years I have tried many combinations of full-time, part-time, 3 days, 2 days, school hours only....and all options are difficult! Pros and cons to all, but it's always hard.

Part-time work requires really good time management skills as your week flies by quickly and so you're always planning ahead. It needs good communication with colleagues too, e.g. I need you to send me this by XX date as I won't be here on XX.

Sounds like you need to practice some mindfulness and work on your stress. You’ve got a lot to do, but if you take a breath and step back, you’ll find it all much easier to managed.
if you are finding the house is getting messy at the drop of a hat, then it probably needs a good declutter (that’s what I find anyway). A good sort out can really make you feel loads better!
don’t stress about tidying up for the cleaner! It’s what they’re being paid for x

I feel you OP. I feel like my work can be a bit disjointed because I’m PT - although this is less of an issue working 4 days with just Wednesdays off.

I crave more time with my children and don’t think the youngest 21 months, copes particularly well in childcare. I notice his sleep isn’t as settled and he finds a full day tiring, but on my day off with them I find it stressful and overwhelming. Like you, the house and life admin falls to me.

It just feels like a LOT! I think I might feel it ease off when my eldest starts school this year, but then I have an immense amount of guilt about the amount of wraparound care he’ll need. I just think that he too, needs to decompress at home.

I feel I’m on a treadmill!

Yes - it’s definitely that lack of decompressing time at either work or home! Both are so, so manic and fast paced and both dull and exhausting at the same time.

For the children too. It’s quite conflicting as I’d like to spend my day off relatively relaxed but with the kids I feel I need to be “on it”.

I work three days per week as a middle manager. I have three children age 5 (reception) 3 (childminder on my days at work) and I am currently on mat leave with 7mo. Honestly, the days at work are easier. Days 'off' I'm run rugged and still having to check in on work because I can't leave things for 4 days til I'm back in. It definitely feels harder than full time work (sorry, but that's my truth) but like you full time childcare doesn't work on many different levels. I'm back to work in September and dreading the juggling already 🙈 good job I adore my kids. I wish I could career change too but just not possible if I want to keep on top of everything.

So.... nothing but exhausted solidarity here !

Exhausted solidarity is good! As I feel like both SAHPs and full time working mums feel I have an ‘easy’ life and I don’t!

It’s all shit! 😂 though I definitely found the kids easier working 3 days, but work was harder.

Agree my work (part time) days are so much easier than being at home, yet I miss the kids when I haven't been around much for 3 days. The time is hard to fill with young ones and there is no time to sit down, but I find the summer much easier than the winter months as they can play outside. And at work you feel like a pain that meetings have to be scheduled around your working days.

Glad to hear it gets easier as they get older!

I've been 3 full days a week for 3 years and I cannot even tell you how relieved I will be when DS starts school in September, I move to 9am to 3pm 4 days a week, and get that sweet sweet Friday to get the cleaning done and then please myself for a few hours.

We got to the point where I've started booking DS into preschool on one of my days off because we've done absolutely everything locally to death and all my mum friends work that day. He'd rather be in and play with his 2 best mates!

I could have written this 😂

I am working 3 days a week and looking after my son two days a week.

I feel like I spend my work week looking back at things and thinking ahead - I have a small window of time to actually do any productive work.

My son is a joy to look after but as is the case with young kids I spend my days off cleaning up after him and running errands.

Rather than feeling like I have the best of both worlds I feel like I am mediocre at work and at home.

Loads of people warned me that the preschool years are hard but once he is in Nursery full time (3 years old) its going to be life changing.

Hang in there OP !

I work 3 days and simultaneously find it the best and the worst of both worlds. It helped me not to think of my days at home not as days ‘off’! You are working (looking after the kids, cleaning, admin, etc) you just aren’t getting paid for it! Once I got my ahead around that it made sense that I felt run ragged all the time….because I am.

Ultimately, I’m happy with it for now as I get the time I want with my kids. But I really had to be diligent about not stressing about work when I wasn’t there.

Children don't need to be entertained all the time, it’s important they start to learn how to amuse themselves with toys and whatever outdoor stuff you have.

Yes, but realistically toddlers aren’t going to be able to play unsupervised and without adult input for long. They just aren’t. Mine seem to play better outside, but this isn’t always possible if the weather is very bad which it has been lately, and there’s no way they could play outside without adult input for hours at a time.

Toddlers need to be outside so on the positive side it should start getting nicer.

re: part time, how part time are you? Could you up the work days, so just say Fridays off? (Apologies I have no idea how flexible teaching is)

I agree completely OP. I work 3.5 days as a teacher. I don’t have a strict ‘jobshare’ so I do 100% of most tasks for 70% of the pay. Eg I write 100% of reports, do 100% of parents evenings, I even plan and mark various lessons I don’t teach for days I’m not there. I run the same number of clubs as full time members of staff and lead the same number of subjects.

I love my day and a half off with my daughter so I wouldn’t change it and go full time but it does annoy me how little my workload is reduced for how much less pay I get.

I don’t consider my days off as days off really as it’s just a different kind of work, looking after a preschooler. Full time work, full time SAHM, part time at home, all have their own challenges. I couldn’t say who has it hardest!

YANBU but also this is mum life. I’ve been a full time, part time and SAHM it’s all got it’s challenges for those pre school years. Keep your part time role though because once they go to school, it’s fanatastic and a really good balance. Being able to do some jobs, have some personal time and pick kids up is worth it’s weight in gold.

Yep it’s so difficult to balance it all.

Are you doing 2 days per week then?
I would struggle with that. Previously I found less than 3 days difficult because it was too long between each working day to keep up.

Is it possible to work in a slightly different role then go back full-time in a year or 2. I do think teaching is particularly hard part/time

Op I am just coming to the end of 13 yrs of being a pt teacher. When I had little ones at home during my days off I had a cleaner, and paid someone to do the ironing. I did batch cooking and we had a fixed meal plan. Dh and I used to take turns each night to cook and also alternated who cleaned up after dinner and who out the kids to bed. It meant we both got some evening to ourselves when we weren't putting the kids to bed. I was very strict about learning to say No to extras at work and working pro rata so jot attending extra meetings etc. We also alternated lie ins on the weekend. Did toddler groups, soft plays, walks etc on my days off. It gets so much easier as they get older but it does come at the expense of career progression in teaching.

Hi, I am a cleaner. Get her come every morning for 40 minutes before she starts her day if she lives near? That’s equivalent of 3 hours a week.
She can do some general tidying from the night before/washing up/hanging clothes etc and also clean one room each time.
There will always be something clean to come home to. Xx