Applied for blue badge for 3yo

[Thehonestbadger]

I applied for it over the weekend.

I’ve been holding off and holding off because I feel like people will judge me using it for a child so young with a hidden disability.

DS is very large for his age, people assume he’s 5 or 6, he’s autistic and non verbal, has very little understanding of the world and is a massive danger all around. The words ‘significant’ and ‘severe’ appear multiple times in his diagnosis forms and medical reports.

Because of his size and ability to escape anything less than a 5 point harness we had very limited options for car seats. All massive bulky ones. Impossible to access with a car parked close beside and impossible to safeguard vehicles from damage with DS kicking and thrashing which he always does. I get injured a lot.

He has to be restrained at all times in car parks and traffic which he hates and gets so distressed. He recently escaped his restraints whilst I was packing bags and ran straight across the very busy car park. Lots of emergency stops and horns blaring. He injured himself and could have been killed. This happened because I’d parked in a regular space and someone had pulled close beside me so I couldn’t get DS straight into his seat.

It’s reached a point where we are super restricted in parking. We end up waiting long periods for parent and child spaces and often give up entirely and leave. We never go anywhere with DS on a weekend or school holiday as know we won’t get parked. I get so much anxiety over his hospital apts (he has loads as lots) because parking is hideous and super small spaces.

It hit me last week, when I took my nearly 2yo to the supermarket alone and it was very busy there were no parent child spaces. I just parked in a normal spot and it wasn’t a big deal. A little less convenient but hey, it was fine. With DS that would have been impossible. I’d probably have given up and left.

It feels so unfair that we are so heavily restricted with DS and that we fully rely on p&c spaces just to be able to safely access facilities and amenities because of his disability. It doesn’t feel fair to be competing for parking spaces with literally every other parent when our needs are much more extreme and we don’t have the option of just parking in a regular space.

Sounds like you need that blue badge.
Hope you get it.

Stuff what other people think. Your boy needs a blue badge.

Disabled badges are for disabled people, doesn’t matter how young they are. Just apply without any guilt. I’m about to take the plunge with dd - she has asd, she isn’t a danger to others or herself except when she panics. Doesn’t panic very often but when she does it’s so, so dangerous (she was nearly run over yesterday).

@Needmorelego

thank you

I just can’t shake this guilty feeling they’ll think I’m taking the p*ss because he’s so young.

I didn’t enjoy getting DLA or carers either but had no real choice about that so just had to. Feels more like this is a choice.

You 100% require a blue badge.
I doubt anyone would judge you but it they did, as my wise Mum would put it. "It's no one else's business, fuck 'em".

But you are doing it to keep him and other people safe.

It doesn’t matter how old he is. We had one for dd when she was 6 months old and on home oxygen/ we had to transport other (heavy) medical supplies. Don’t worry about what other people think, and get the blue badge to make life a little but easier.

@Wenfy

oh no, I hope your DD gets one.
It’s so hard with ASD as people tend to hear it and assume ‘just a few quirks but generally ok’ but it’s not the case at all for most.
It’s also so volatile, one day they’re ok, the next they’re running barefoot directly into traffic and almost causing a car park wide pile up! And we don’t get warning.

Blue badge is about need. You need one for dc to ensure you have same opportunities as people who can use normal parking bays. Ita leveling playing field for you and dc and keeping them safe

Of course you should. I have a disabled badge for a child. If you need it you need it.

Thats the point of the system.. to allow people with disabilities to have access to services. Doesnt matter hes only a toddler... he won't be a toddler forever, but he will need extra help in life.

Everything crossed for you that its granted quickly.

You’ve only been unreasonable for holding out for so long. You absolutely need this. All the very best of luck to you .

It's not a choice, he needs this to keep him safe, he needs this so he can get out and about. You need this because getting injured sucks and wherever possible you shouldn't have to go through that. I know how easy it is to put yourself last, but you matter too, you deserve to be as safe as possible. This is very much something he needs to access the community. It's not a choice, it's a need.

Don't worry about what arseholes think, they're unimportant even if they're loud.

I had someone have a go at me for parking in a blue badge spot with my dad, despite him having a blue badge, it being displayed and my dad being visibly frail (MND) albeit at that point refusing to use the wheelchair (because he was a stubborn git sometimes...which I understood even though it was distressing). All because I wasn't disabled. My response shocked them to silence...I can't say it was my finest moment.

People will have a go at you just because. So fingers crossed you get the blue badge and a small bit of your life can be made that little bit less difficult. Take whatever assistance you can, never feel that you shouldn't just because someone might disapprove.

You know people's opinions and judgements don't matter not 1 bit so.if they tut or snipe gossip that's their failings nothing to do with you . I hope it.you get it soon it will be a bit of help to you and your son going about your lives.

Apply with the required details and they will give him one if he qualifies. It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks. If he qualifies, then you're allowed to make use of it.

Of course you need one - hopefully the awarding authority will feel the same.
I had one for my DD as soon as we were allowed to apply. She was tiny due to her condition but couldn't sit up unaided never mind walk. She needed to be in a wheelchair/buggy which I had to be able to get alongside the car.
Do not worry about what other people think. It's about what you and your son need to make life easier.

You need one, you are entitled to one and you deserve to be awarded one. End of.

I hope you get it.

It sounds like you really need it, I hope you get one.

I felt the same as you - the guilt, the mental preparedness to be judged.
Know what? - noone has blinked an eyelid. Wrung myself out over it and it's never been an issue.
So stop wasting energy worrying about it. I know - easier said than done.

YANBU to apply for a blue badge, and if it isn’t given, fight for it.

Does ds get the mobility component of DLA?

There is often an argument made that all young children have mobility needs. Your ds has needs that far exceed his peers, and you should be awarded.

Hopefully u get the badge soon, with that level of Autism it’s def not a hidden disability.

Don’t doubt yourself. It’s nobody else’s business. Hope you get it you absolutely merit it.

I got one for my DS when the new rules allowed. He doesn’t look disabled but does qualify. In over 2 years we have never had one negative comment.

Blue badges are designed for people like your son. Don’t worry about the hidden disability; some people are ignorant and will judge whereas others understand.