To tell you about Nell. The most inspiring woman I ever did know.

[Lwrenagain]

Please tell me of your Nell's, anyone who inspired you ❤

I started working in care work the week of my 16th birthday.
I've cared for some famous, infamous, incredible, horrible, lady's and Lords, paupers and prisoners and I've met some characters. But nobody like Nell. Nell was the woman who inspired me most.
There's currently lots of women in awful situations on here, I hope if any of you read this, you can reach your inner Nell.

I first met Nell the second week of my job as a community carer. She was in her mid 80s, very beautiful and tiny. Frail and not very mobile but had a strong voice and was razor sharp with wit.
She hadn't had carers in before and I was new to caring, so we bonded over this awkward time as we navigated together her having a stranger in her home tidying around, and me being that stranger.
Once I was finished with the tasks she'd make me a cup of tea and we had a little chat. Over the following months she confided in me how dreadful her life had been at the hands of her abusive husband.
She left him at 83 years old.
With not a penny to her name.
Years of cruel words, physical violence and mental torture from him and one day he went "too far".
Her grandson had bought her an interactive DVD of a quiz show she had adored. One day she asked her husband could she put it on, and he smashed the DVD player to pieces.
So she simply left. At 83. Went to stay with her brother and his wife until she was able to get herself a social housing flat.
So once I'd finished my jobs for her we'd play this quiz show, every Saturday morning. Her grandchildren built her up a collection of similar things and she also became a movie buff. She showed me shawshank redemption, I'd never heard of it and I still love it now.
She realised how much she'd missed out on, but instead of allowing that to dictate the years she had left, she threw herself into technology!
Over the years I went (after I'd got a new job) she had even gotten a PlayStation and became an excellent gamer.
She lived her last years with more youth and vibrance than most. Most people in their 80s struggle with arthritis, Nell struggled with crash bandicoot! But absolutely bossed tomb raider.

She passed away in her early 90s and I still visited her regularly until she died.
I'm friends still on FB with her grandson who she tried the most to hook me up with. He often posts things in homage to her even now and she's been gone for many years.

Nell is the hero everyone needs and the bravery she showed in her final years always make me wish school's taught kids about nell.
It's never too late to be happy.

This is so lovely. I’m pleased Nell also had you to nurture and support her positivity.

Wow I love this ! What an awesome woman !

I love Nell! What an amazing woman. Thanks for sharing

I hope so much all the women struggling on here find their Nell power!

I just wish she could have told you her story.

She sounds amazing

Nell sounds like an amazing and inspiring woman. How lucky you were to have known her.

How beautiful. I wish I'd known Nell. She is inspirational ❤️

One of the best posts I've read on here, thanks for sharing, plus you write really well.
It just goes to show you can have a new lease of life at any age/ life stage once you've made up your mind enough is enough. "Nothing more powerful than a changed mind".

What a great woman she sounds! Thanks for sharing.

(Baffled by who's voted that you're unreasonable.)

This is inspiring. I think all young people should spend time with the elderly. At 16 I did 2 weeks work experience in a care home and still remember some of the residents especially one gentleman who was a war veteran I loved listening to his stories ❤️

What a fabulous woman. I do remember my gran when she was in her early 80s telling me that she knew far too many women who had grown to loathe the men they felt stuck with through circumstances. Very upsetting --but I suspect probably quite common- and the reverse is true of course .

My 'Nell' was my stepGM and her story was similar OP. Left her abusive H in her late 70's (also after a 'final straw' moment) with nothing, got herself a little council flat and a brand new lease of life. Joined (and became the driving force for) the residents committee for her estate and all the local community groups and became the social butterfly she'd always wanted to be. She was happier in those 8 or so years than I'd ever seen her, like the weight had been lifted and she was finally free. I stayed with her often in her little flat (we'd visit on a Saturday night and I'd beg to stay over) and she taught me a lot about life and relationships, I'm really grateful I had that time with her.

Wonderful post OP, thank you for sharing. I'm so pleased she finally got the peace and joy she must have been craving for a those decades, how incredibly brave of her to leave the bastard. It just goes to show, if Nell can take charge of her life in her 80's and say "enough!", we all bloody can. It sounds like you had a beautiful friendship with her - I imagine you must miss her a lot 💐

Thank you @Lwrenagain

Nell sounds fabulous. I worked as a home carer for quite a few years and met some great characters.
Often the elderly and infirm are dismissed and sidelined as past their sell by date but these people are human just like us and many have lived through wars ( not so many left now, sadly) i met some strong people with stories, happy and sad, of the long lives they have lived 🙂🙂

An incredible woman

😘 For all the Nells

Wish there was a like button for this

I changed my name for this.
I used to visit a very elderly gentleman do do various procedures for him.
He was very frail, but so polite and dignified.
One day I visited and his son was there.
There was a military beret on the sideboard.
I noticed it and realised it was an SAS beret.
I took his hand and thanked him for his bravery and for everything he had done for me and my generation.
He squeezed my hand as the tears rolled silently down his cheeks.
His son followed me to the door and thanked me for mentioning it to him.
I have never forgotten him.

I absolutely love stories about the elderly!
Thanks for sharing your Nell's! ❤

Ooh goosebumps! ❤

A PP said she thinks young people should spend time with the elderly and I haven't considered before but that would be wonderful.
It's easy to not see the elderly as the capable people they were and I think that would be really beneficial, for everyone!

@LakeTiticaca one thing I have really realised as I've got older(now 61) is that whilst I personally feel you kind of become a bit invisible , in your head you are still you, my thoughts and personality aren't much different from when I was 34 -- talking to my 83 year old FIL beings that home to me too, we still laugh at his stories from 50 years ago and whilst others may just see an older bloke with a hammy leg, he's a hugely interesting man with a life and stories to tell.

This is just one of the best things I’ve read on Mumsnet. May all women in difficult situations find their inner Nell ♥️♥️♥️

Inspirational.

That's a lovely thread. I'm glad Nell found her mojo and managed to put her own happiness first in her latter years. I'll keep my fingers crossed for the Nell in my life who has been unhappily married in a role of servitude for 50 years. The thought of her walking out and taking up gaming really makes me smile!