And I woke up alone. DH slept in the spare room. We’ve been together nearly 25 years. He’s 7 years older than me and it’s really starting to show. We went out for dinner and came home for a really lovely pudding I’ve been made. He sat there while I cleared the table to get crockery out. I said can’t you at least get the cutlery! No I’ve had too much to drink to think about that sorry.
recently I’ve been away for work which is unusual, he’s away most weeks. Thought he’d miss me. He didn't. I got home and I didn’t get out the car before he said get off the drive so we can switch cars around. I got my bags in alone in the rain. He will provide what mumsnet calls maintenance sex and when the gender roles are reversed men are called sex pests because I’ve tried to tell him how that intimacy is important to me. I think I want to divorce but I’m scared to date again and whilst I’m super comfortable alone I’d like to feel attractive. Things have changed so much! . I’ve told him why I'm so upset. Once a month isn’t enough for me. I feel frumpy and unloved. TMI but he won’t have sex while I’m on my period. I’ve offered oral and he said no thanks which feels a bit of a kick in the teeth as he’d never previously pass it up!
We get to crisis point where I feel brave enough to end it and then he changes for a while but that in hindsight feels like he’s just providing a bit of top up maintenance so as to avoid having to live alone again.
The truth is I’m not the young attractive woman he first met and he no longer feels like making an effort. But he’s still supposed to love me. he has never been outwardly attractive. Always to me though! when we first met I was really young and thin. It’s the Wrinkles, excess hip fat and general tiredness from my stressful job and being older now than I was (obviously) that seems to turn him off.
Nothing else other than finances tie us together which could easily be separated. I’m financially self sufficient.
I told my mum how upset I was. What was happening that even though it’s just us at home I do 80% of the work and I was tired and thinking of divorce. She told me to go the dr to get some antidepressants!
sorry for the long post. Tell me your stories of it working out once you went it alone! I know it needs to happen but I’m afraid!