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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

12 month old still has 1-3 night feeds

39 replies

mycupcakes · 08/05/2023 21:21

I just can't find a way to get him back to sleep without it. On a good night, he'll need just the one. On a bad night, it will be 3.

Sometimes I'll be lucky and he'll wake up at 5 and need one then.

If I don't give milk, he'll just keep crying for ages and ages. Even if he settles for a few minutes / half an hour, he'll wake up again. He always downs the whole bottle.

Any advice? Trying to feed him lots during the day. His diet is quite good:

1 breakfast of toast / porridge / fruit / egg

2 sometimes a small bottle before his nap at 11

3 lunch of pasta / chicken / rice / veggies / etc and fruit or yoghurt for desert

4 baby biscuits or fruit as a snack

5 dinner of protein / veg eatables etc / plus yoghurt or biscuit for desert

6 bottle before bed

I switched him to cows milk, but he got terribly constipated, so back on formula for now.

OP posts:

Jk987 · 08/05/2023 23:45

Does he go back to sleep quickly after a night feed? If so, I'd leave it be. He seems to be eating well in the day so try and give him a bigger bottle just before bedtime and he'll sleep through sooner than you think.

If he's keeping you awake and not settling back to sleep after his feeds then try milk feeds after every solid meal, there's no need to drastically reduce formula at this age.

pinksquash13 · 09/05/2023 00:00

@mycupcakes yeh I hear you. It's not common (if you believe everything you read / hear) but doesn't mean it's not right for your child. Are they very high on the weight charts? Perhaps it is a comfort thing and they will grow out of it or you could try to introduce a different comfort (easier said than done). If it's mostly not a problem, don't make it into one. I also wouldn't stress about how much food they're getting in the day. I don't believe it makes a difference to sleep. Maybe my two poor sleepers have made me very defeatist but I like to think of myself as a realist 🫠

Duttercup · 09/05/2023 00:11

The thing is, how it is now, isn't a huge issue for me. He wakes me up, I open one of those ready made bottles and pour it into his bottle and give it to him. Then I go back to bed.

I was like this. I just didn't care. I woke up, fed her, went back to sleep, used to take 10 minutes. She dropped all her feeds on her own without me doing anything, probably around 18 months.

No advice really, just...if you're not bothered, why make work for yourself (my parenting motto lol)

Milkmani · 09/05/2023 06:55

Also in the day don’t worry how much you’re feeding. My friends daughter is also 12 months and has 3 bottles each day that’s she barely finishes and then a few little crispy snacks - doesn’t touch food, quite picky etc. In comparison to my son she barely eats but all babies are different, if she was hungry she would cry. Just try and sneak high protein things into meals and blended chia seeds into yoghurt and see how he goes. Fingers crossed you will get a full nights sleep once again x

Barnbrack · 09/05/2023 06:59

jamtomorrow1 · 08/05/2023 22:00

I didn't bottle feed my sons but 1-3 night feeds for a breastfed 12 month old would be totally normal. Perhaps it's different if you're formula feeding but perhaps there is nothing to worry about? Feeding for comfort is not bad or wrong for a tiny child.

Agree!

Original poster

mycupcakes · 09/05/2023 07:41

So last night we had a better night ! I gave him his last bottle when I posted at around 11 and he didn't wake up until 6:30 or so. I think we are heading in the right direction with this as the frequency of the feeds is decreasing over all and it gets a bit worse when he's getting a new tooth.

OP posts:

Hesma · 09/05/2023 07:44

Try putting the milk in a cup and stop using bottles. I’m guessing he wants the comfort of suckling more than the milk.

Summerlovin121 · 09/05/2023 07:51

Whattheflipflap · 08/05/2023 22:20

I work with families postnatally and I’m just tying up a masters level qualification in infant feeding. I’ve got experience working with bf and ff mums and have for many years, I’ve also provided an extensive amount of night care for babies, when mums couldn’t.
honestly most ff babies, do not sleep through from ten weeks.
its biologically normal for all children to wake and feed through the night until 2. It’s also not advised to night wean until 18 months. There’s absolutely no need to cut the feed if you don’t want to.

we need to stop perpetuating the narrative that A babies sleep through (even adults don’t), and that B children need to learn to settle indipendently (you learn to self soothe and regulate by being soothes and regulated)

Show quote history

I needed to read this today - thank you!

Adviceneeded234 · 09/05/2023 07:58

I have an almost 21 month old who has two bottles throughout the night. It is not for comfort, it is all finished.

it is tough and I can’t wait for it to end but I have tried controlled crying, water etc it doesn’t work and honestly, they are very much still babies.

it’ll take time but it’ll happen when they are ready is what I tell myself

QueefQueen80s · 09/05/2023 09:15

Mine was same, it comforted him while his teeth were growing. Once they were all through it stopped and he slept!

Original poster

mycupcakes · 09/05/2023 09:25

QueefQueen80s · 09/05/2023 09:15

Mine was same, it comforted him while his teeth were growing. Once they were all through it stopped and he slept!

Yes I see this correlation. There was a few days recently where he needed to have more feeds and low and behold a new tooth popped out. Now that it's out, he's not needing as much.

OP posts:

Gigi00 · 09/04/2024 21:51

@mycupcakes what happened with the night feeds? Im in the same position with my 14 month old!

Farmwifefarmlife · 09/04/2024 22:03

My 18m old still wakes once a night for milk 50/50 cows milk & formula and still has a milk for nap at 2 and milk to go to bed with in a bottle for bed at 7.

Ifhappylittlebluebirdsfly222 · 09/04/2024 22:23

Maybe he's not that hungry but needs the milk as a comfort/tool to help get him back to sleep.
I still breastfed mine at 12 months, and when I wanted to give up his dad had to be the one to go in and try settling him in the night, because if I went in he just wanted milk from me. He wasn't actually hungry but just used breastfeeding to settle himself down and then had to learn to sleep without it.

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