Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU not to invite work colleagues with plus ones to wedding reception?

27 replies

Pleasehelpmefindmydress · 08/05/2023 20:33

We're having a small wedding in August and the guest list is becoming a bit of a headache.
The venue can seat 50 for a sit down meal and 75 for a buffet - we're leaning towards a buffet so we can invite more people.
I'm inviting about 10 work colleagues - but if they all accept, I can't really open it up for them to bring partners as well as that will be nearly a third of our guests. I do know some of their partners but not all.
Would it bother you to get an invite that doesn't include your OH for a work colleague's wedding reception?
Ceremony is at a register office so family and a couple of close friends.

OP posts:
Lcb123 · 08/05/2023 20:35

I’d prefer my OH wasn’t invited in that scenario. Will be more enjoyable as a group of colleagues

NoKnit · 08/05/2023 20:35

I don't think work colleagues need to be invite at all. Just invite your friends

Sissynova · 08/05/2023 20:36

You’re inviting 10 work colleagues to a 50 person wedding??

Dartmoorcheffy · 08/05/2023 20:36

Work colleagues tend to be happy going on their own as a work group without partners

tourdefrance · 08/05/2023 20:37

I wouldn't expect an invite at all. I've only been invited to one work colleague's wedding (and couldn't make it as no childcare).

2Hot2Handle · 08/05/2023 20:38

Work colleagues wouldn’t normally get a plus one. I certainly wouldn’t expect one. Just put their name only on the invitation and if asked, explain that capacity is low.

Ifulikepinacoladas · 08/05/2023 20:39

My DH is going to a colleagues wedding that I haven't been invited to. I'm not bothered at all as I don't know any of the people going, let alone met the bride.
I have been invited to a wedding of a colleague (evening do) and I have a +1 for DH, but wouldn't have been offended if he wasn't invited.
Basically, I think it's OK, as long as all the people you're inviting know each other.

Justdancinginthedark · 08/05/2023 20:40

For our evening reception I put an invitation in the staff room to all staff. They had a great night together.

moleeye · 08/05/2023 20:46

Getting married in September, 85 people

We aren't inviting work colleagues as I don't want any evening guests.

However I would not expect my partner to be invited to a work wedding and vice versa.

BasiliskStare · 08/05/2023 20:47

A work friend of mine invited her work friends but without partners . We all thought that was completely reasonable. I would not worry for a moment

MrsTerryPratchett · 08/05/2023 20:49

Dartmoorcheffy · 08/05/2023 20:36

Work colleagues tend to be happy going on their own as a work group without partners

As long as no work partners go, it's fine. Not some though.

PinkiOcelot · 08/05/2023 20:49

When I got married I invited 2 work colleagues on their own then +1 with their OH on the nighttime.

35965a · 08/05/2023 20:49

Work colleagues usually sort of go as a group, I don’t think any would expect a +1

SleepingStandingUp · 08/05/2023 20:49

That's fine op, they're with their work colleagues. Yes there are some people who get their knickers in a twist over the audacity of people who think they'd ever go anywhere without their partner, and how a wedding about love should absolutely mean you invite their partner because they love them.
But in the real world, it's totally normal.

I'm just Surprised you're inviting so many to such a small wedding.

Nellieinthebarn · 08/05/2023 20:51

With a small wedding I wouldn't invite colleagues unless they had become friends outside of work, and then I would invite their partners.

Original poster
Pleasehelpmefindmydress · 08/05/2023 20:54

I've worked there a long time and we're all close, I consider them friends. Thanks for the reassurance though that the lack of plus ones hopefully won't be a problem.

OP posts:
ZeroFucksGivenToday · 08/05/2023 20:54

I went to a wedding in summer last year where a work colleague invited a select few of us (I think 9 of us). No plus ones. Which I was relieved about as I am the only single one in them anyway. Everyone came. We had a ball, danced all night and had a right laugh. No one was remotely upset by plus ones not being invited. :)

tortiecat · 08/05/2023 21:04

I'd have been very happy with a solo invite in the circumstances you mention - would feel it quite an honour! Congratulations and hope all goes well.

CheshireCat1 · 08/05/2023 21:05

I invited my colleagues but not their partners, they had a great time.

JudgeRudy · 08/05/2023 21:11

I can't think of anywhere I've ever worked where I'd invite 10 workmates...maybe 1 possibly 2 over the years. I might invite a small group to an evening reception. I wouldn't be inviting partners. I'd expect them to sit/socialise together

UsingChangeofName · 08/05/2023 21:19

Another who is quite surprised at 10 work colleagues being invited when you are not having a huge wedding.
I don't think I'd invite any of them (unless one or two are specifically close friends outside of work). Colleagues tend to be 'evening invitations' if you are having an evening do.

However, when you do invite colleagues, it is very normal to just invite the colleagues as a group, and not partners - as a pp said, quite a lot of the partner wouldn't want to go to the wedding of someone they aren't friends with anyway, and many people would be happy to go as a group.

JMSA · 08/05/2023 21:21

I think it's fine, as the work colleagues will no doubt chum up and chat amongst themselves. I really like my close work colleagues and would probably prefer this anyway!

Cantthinkofadifferentname · 08/05/2023 21:23

Went to a wedding of a colleague of DH last year. Think I was invited as distance meant overnight stay. TBH wish I hadn't been invited or has declined as sat on table of work colleagues and both halves of couples currently or previously worked together. The talk was all work and people they knew from work, I was bored and felt a spare part. No need for plus ones

katemulberrybush · 08/05/2023 21:23

No, ive been to several work weddings and most of them had no partners included

AnneElliott · 08/05/2023 21:35

Don't invite partners. It will be boring for them. I've only ever had just an invite for me when it's a work colleague who's never met my H.