For husband to arrange date nights?

[Shouldistayorshouldigonow85]

Aibu- to expect my husband to sort a babysitter and arrange a night out once in a while?
I’ve always been the one that arranges things and recently I’ve taken a step back and voiced my reasons (it would be nice to feel like he wants to go out with me and also not to feel like to organiser all the time)
for background he works full time, middle manager role and I work part time four days a week and do the school runs, etc
we have plenty of options for free babysitters and I just want to feel valued, appreciated and like he wants to go out with me!
I have voiced all this to him, and he just says he’s too busy to organise anything (it’s one text!) and doesn’t have any other reason than that.
it’s starting to effect our relationship as I feel like communication isnt good as we get hardly any time away from the kids, we don’t laugh together anymore as things are busy and sex is dwindling as I just can’t help feeling like he can’t be arsed to put the effort into our relationship but expects the benefits -
just your opinions really- should I sort some dates out to try and get things back on track or hold out for him to put some actual effort in! WWYD?

I can understand your frustrations op. All the best

I have this..we had to even canx plans as he was meant to organise the babysitter and didn't get round to it and by that point no one is available.
Don't know what the answer is. But you are not alone.

Who are the free babysitters?

When my mum got ill and died, I lost my free babysitter (That sounds really harsh, obviously I also lost my mother), so we had to rely on DPs family for babysitting.

I felt a lot less comfortable asking DPs family to babysit than my own, so I left it to her to organise the baby sitting for nights out.b This led to an argument after about a year that I didn't seem to want to go out with her, until I explained why.

Babysitters are his mum and sisters and my mum and dad. So no reason to not want to ask.

I totally understand how you are feeling. And just had the same argument with DH. For us it isn't even about organising a babysitter as that will get sorted. It's more about arranging what we are going to do and when.

He just seems to have 0 interest in making plans. And I'm also fed up with being the one who always organises everything and he just turns up like he's doing me a favour by being there.

I'm not an overly romantic person so don't need grand gestures but a once in a while a text saying we're going out x night to x restaurant make sure your free would be amazing.

Sorry to derail your thread OP - I have no advice just sympathy.