AIBU to think it's ok for my baby to gag while learning to eat solids?

[TheBerry]

First of all, I HATE seeing my baby gag. It makes my heart stop. I'm terrified he'll choke.

However, I've done my research and read everything the NHS and WHO has to say and watched videos and they're all saying that although a baby gagging can look alarming it's normal and even a necessary part of development.

My boy is nearly 8 months, has no teeth yet, but is advanced with his motor skills. We give him toast and soft cooked veg and sometimes he gags a bit but not too much.

Today I was at my mum's and he was really shovelling the toast in and then he started gagging quite loudly and threw up the milk he'd just drank. He was fine and kept trying to eat more toast after.

I did find it scary to watch but I knew he was gagging not choking. I tried to be calm about it. Mum was horrified and thinks he was close to choking and that babies shouldn't be allowed to gag.

I showed her stuff from the NHS website and a video of a baby gagging which looked and sounded similar to what had just happened. She says she just disagrees with the NHS.

I'll admit I'd be quite happy to not feed him finger foods because the gagging does scare me but at the same time I'm trying to be rational. Mum just thinks it's wrong and that I won't listen to anybody else's opinion - but it's not my opinion per se it's the NHS's!

AIBU and he shouldn't be allowed to gag that much? Or is that amount of gagging ok, even when he throws up?

@Dixiechickonhols I understand your point but I do not understand GP or GP inlaw willfully believing they know best and deciding they will do that and not listening to what is wanted.
I did use childcare and they preferred we had gone down the BLW path as baby was easier for them to feed then purely puree fed babies. But on the occasions baby was left with family I expected some cooperation in carrying out my wishes.
My mum was very good at just going along with what I wanted -MIL not so much. Guess who I ask to look after Baby/child the most now?

@TheBerry you need to decide how important this is to you. There are different foods to try - banana has been suggested. My mum whilst nervous was good at feeding omelet cut into strips and scrambled egg. Brioche toast is slightly softer. Boiled dippy eggs with shell removed. These are foods she can remember feeding me alongside the puree and mushed up veg. You are doing a great job and it is up to you to decide if this is an important issue to stand up for.
A gagging baby Is scary and I do appreciate your mum (or anyone else looking after baby will want to ensure they are ok) but babies actually fo get better and the gagging phase only lasts a short while (if memory serves)

It definitely depends on intent. If it’s coming from I know best and he’ll only have purée on my watch that’s not on.
If it’s from a I’m not comfortable letting him gag on toast on my watch can he have toast with you for breakfast and I’ll give him whatever you send or some of what we are having whatever you prefer that’s different.
If she’s only minding him occasionally it will be a none issue soon as he will be over gagging.
Different foods at Grandma’s is quite normal my mum used to feed mine custard and rice pudding and other things I never made.
It’s normal to be extra careful when it’s not your child.

I know everyone will say its normal but I didnt like it. I still offered finger foods but at our own pace. The ‘throw em anything you’re having’ didnt intuitively feel right to me, so I didn't.

Gagging is completely normal. It's how baby stops choking from happening

It's also not the unpleasant experience that adults have.

Gagging is a good thing.

I'm with your mum. I don't like it at all. I saw it as a sign that they're not quite ready yet with both of mine.

My son also gagged on toast and threw up. I took it easier for a while and tried again a month or so later and then it never happened again.

Eventually they'll learn, no need to watch them gagging and no need to be really competitive with the weaning/ finger foods if you ask me. There's so much pressure today to get them to eat by themselves really early. Both of mine were weaned in a very relaxed way and it they gagged on stuff I took a step back for a bit. Eventually they both learned. Even if some babies were ' ahead ' at some points during the process, it wasn't a big deal.

By the time they were 1, they'd caught up. No harm done and no having to nervously watch my babies gagging and / or throw up. There's too much pressure on it these days. They will learn eventually without having all the gagging and choking. My kids eat fine now and I didn't need to go through prolonged gagging..

I just feel so rattled and my confidence has gone because mum had such a strong reaction to it and we argued.

Please don't let this undermine your confidence. You are tuned into your own baby, you've done your research and you know that gagging is normal (if a bit scary). A baby's gag reflex is activated sooner than that of an older child or adult. My MIL was horrified at the amount of food DS1 used to cram in his mouth. She would say 'That baby's going to choke'. Not even using his name - that baby - as if she was disassociating herself from the imagined medical emergency that was about to unfold😂 'That baby' is almost 15 and still shovels his food down like a gannet!

You're doing a great job

Perfectly normal for them to gag, make an appointment with yr HV and see if there are any weaning courses available or they would be able to go through it with u.