4 yo sneaking treats

Lallalala · 2023-05-08T06:40:57+00:00

I'm at a loss atm. my 4 year old DD is constantly trying to sneak treats it's pretty much every morning she will wake up before me / when I'm still half asleep and tip toe downstairs and start helping herself to chocolate or biscuits or something I've tried talking to her about it so many times but she doesn't stop. She has healthy options for if she wakes up hungry, there's loads of fruit and yoghurts etc and I've told her if she wakes up hungry come and wake me up and I will make her breakfast. I woke up this morning to her trying to sneak an Easter egg into her room. She knows it's wrong because when I asked what she was doing she said "nothing" and got all shifty. is this normal behaviour? I don't want to ban all treats from the house because from what I've read that will make it worse but I don't see any other option at this point, she can't be getting up and helping herself to chocolate the moment my back is turned

Pottedpalm · 08/05/2023 07:42

Lock the treats up.

angelopal · 08/05/2023 07:44

Put them somewhere she can't get them. Also you could remove them all for a few days.

Mine used to try and sneak treats but the threat of removing them if they did that was enough to stop them.

Original poster

Lallalala · 08/05/2023 07:45

The thing is I did move them to a high cuboard that I thought she couldn't get to, but that just made her climb up to get them so I moved them back down again for fear she'd fall and hurt herself whilst trying to get to them

OP posts:

Lostthefairytale · 08/05/2023 07:46

Completely within the range of normal behaviour. Put them on a high shelf.

littleblackcat27 · 08/05/2023 07:46

Hide the stuff you don't want her to eat. Simples.

4 year old children are not known for their self control.

littleblackcat27 · 08/05/2023 07:47

Lallalala · 08/05/2023 07:45

The thing is I did move them to a high cuboard that I thought she couldn't get to, but that just made her climb up to get them so I moved them back down again for fear she'd fall and hurt herself whilst trying to get to them

Hide them whilst she is not looking -

Lostthefairytale · 08/05/2023 07:48

Just saw your update. Be clear with her that if it happens again then there will be no more treats in the house. Then when she thinks there is no more treats in the house find a better hiding place!!

Beautifulsunflowers · 08/05/2023 07:48

Hide them in your wardrobe!

snitzelvoncrumb · 08/05/2023 07:49

It’s normal, they struggle with impulse control. I would stop buying treats for a few weeks. Explain why. Then negotiate the rules for having treats in the house again. This might work depending on the child.

BuffaloCauliflower · 08/05/2023 07:50

What’s your approach to these foods? Are they a normal part of what you eat or are you putting them on a pedestal and making them ‘special’. If so that’s probably the problem. Having a little bit of say, chocolate, just with lunch or with a snack and not making a big deal of it will build a better relationship with the food than keeping it hidden and making it a super special thing that should be anticipated more highly than other foods.

Luredbyapomegranate · 08/05/2023 07:52

It’s normal range of behaviour.

Put them where she can’t get to them. You could also put a little bolt high on the kitchen door if you are worried she’s climbing about the kitchen too much - or if you are happy for her to help herself to something, put out fruit where it’s easy for her to to get to.

Maray1967 · 08/05/2023 07:52

Yes, limit the amount of treat food you have in the house and put it where she can’t find it. Tell her clearly it has been removed so that she does not climb up trying to find it. At 4 she is old enough to understand - but that type of defiance is very normal in my experience.

Luredbyapomegranate · 08/05/2023 07:54

BuffaloCauliflower · 08/05/2023 07:50

What’s your approach to these foods? Are they a normal part of what you eat or are you putting them on a pedestal and making them ‘special’. If so that’s probably the problem. Having a little bit of say, chocolate, just with lunch or with a snack and not making a big deal of it will build a better relationship with the food than keeping it hidden and making it a super special thing that should be anticipated more highly than other foods.

Honestly, whatever your approach to these foods, it’s not unusual for 4 year olds to get fairly obsessed by chocolate. Nothing you do as a parent can protect against childhood phases.

Don’t make this more than it is.

DustyLee123 · 08/05/2023 07:54

I used to get rid of left over Easter and Xmas chocolate when they’d gone back to school.

Original poster

Lallalala · 08/05/2023 07:55

I try and allow her to have a good relationship with food, like I don't put sugary stuff on a pedestal, she always has a pudding of her choice wether that's some chocolate or an ice cream or whatever.

the massive problem I've faced is that when she goes to her dads he would allow her to eat literally whatever she wanted. One morning she had a pack of custard creams for breakfast because he was too lazy to get out of bed to make something so just let her have whatever she wanted.

I've nipped that behaviour from her dad in the bud but since then she's just wanted junk food 24/7 and trying to get healthy food into her aswell has been a real struggle.

im glad to see people saying that this is also normal 4 yo behaviour tho

OP posts:

orangegato · 08/05/2023 07:56

Context is everything. Is she overweight or is this having problems with her health?

If she’s active and not overall overeating then no harm done, if she’s putting weight on it’s setting her up for years of misery and food issues so you really need to step in.

isthewashingdryyet · 08/05/2023 07:57

Stop calling them treats for a start. All food should be seen as part of a normal healthy diet.
And keep food in your house you want your kids to eat as part of their overall healthy balanced diet. ie why do you need to buy biscuits and chocolate if you don’t want them eaten.

language is very important around food, who wouldn’t want to eat the special lovely interesting treats rather than a normal snack ?

Nimbostratus100 · 08/05/2023 07:57

put them out of her reach and punish her when she does something wrong. It is not acceptable behaviour

Brieandcamembert · 08/05/2023 07:58

You don't need to keep biscuits and chocolate in the house. Children shouldn't be eating that stuff regularly enough that it's worth keep much if any in.

An occasional biscuit not as a treat just because sometimes we have biscuits but mostly we don't is the healthiest option.

Original poster

Lallalala · 08/05/2023 08:00

She is active and healthy, not overweight. But I also don't want that to become an issue so I want to get ahead of it now

also, I don't have piles of biscuits etc in the house, atm we have a bit more than usual because we have Easter chocolate still so there's some Easter eggs in the cuboard and there's also the little bags of animal biscuits that I let her have a packet of if she's eaten her lunch.

OP posts:

CurlewKate · 08/05/2023 08:07

What are your reasons for objecting? Is she taking stuff that isn't hers? Or is it the time she's doing it?

AxolotlOnions · 08/05/2023 08:12

I'd stop giving her sugar after meals, if she's still hungry she can have a little more lunch/dinner or maybe some fruit, it sounds like she's eating too much.

tiggergoesbounce · 08/05/2023 08:13

I am obviously different, but at 4 years old, i didn't let our DS help himself to anything. He had to ask if he could have something, and then he went to get it if i said yes. I have never heard any of our family or friends children consistently taking food.

I would tell her if she takes the sweeter foods, then she had used her healthy amount for the day, so no more for the day.
If you give her little chocolate biscuits for eating her lunch and a desert for eating her tea, just remove those.

Is she still eating her healthy breakfast after eating the other foods ??

If you still can't control it, stop buying them for a bit.

Original poster

Lallalala · 08/05/2023 08:14

CurlewKate · 08/05/2023 08:07

What are your reasons for objecting? Is she taking stuff that isn't hers? Or is it the time she's doing it?

the Easter eggs are hers, but it's not acceptable to be eating chocolate at 6am instead of having breakfast.
also the sneakyness of it, if she wants some chocolate then she should ask, not wait until I'm doing some housework or having a shower and going to help herself

OP posts:

Original poster

Lallalala · 08/05/2023 08:19

tiggergoesbounce · 08/05/2023 08:13

I am obviously different, but at 4 years old, i didn't let our DS help himself to anything. He had to ask if he could have something, and then he went to get it if i said yes. I have never heard any of our family or friends children consistently taking food.

I would tell her if she takes the sweeter foods, then she had used her healthy amount for the day, so no more for the day.
If you give her little chocolate biscuits for eating her lunch and a desert for eating her tea, just remove those.

Is she still eating her healthy breakfast after eating the other foods ??

If you still can't control it, stop buying them for a bit.

Sorry I might not have made it clear. She doesn't have free reign to help herself to food, she is just going and taking it knowing that she isn't allowed. And then getting into trouble, but then still continuing to do it.

most of the time yes she still eats her breakfast but that's because I generally catch her before she's had chance to eat any of the chocolate.

I've sat down and had a serious talk with her this morning and explained that if this happens again I will be getting rid of all the chocolate and then we won't have any.

OP posts: