Hi,
I'd really like some advice. I have been with my partner for 10 years, we are not married but share two children. My partner has suffered with his mental health for the last few years. This is mainly due to grief and gambling issues.
Over the years my partner has gone out at weekends and got so drunk that he's being sick in his sleep. When he wakes (and I've cleaned everything) he doesn't remember anything. We argue about this and often we don't speak for days. He eventually apologises and we sort things out. In the back of my mind I am waiting for this to happen again. This has repeatedly spoilt our weekend plans as a family as he's then too hungover to do anything or I take the children out alone.
This has often resulted in his staying with his mum, or I take the children to my mums. Again, he manages to say the right things and we make up. He apologises and says it won't happen again.
Before Christmas it happened and he said he would stop drinking if it meant keeping us all together as a family. This hasn't happened. Two weeks ago I had to scoop sick out of his mouth he was so drunk. If I hadn't have done this, he would have choked on his sick in the night.
Recently, the same thing has happened when my two children were poorly. I text him asking to come home and help and he didn't. I couldn't cope with him being sick as well that night so I locked him out and said he needed to find elsewhere to stay.
The next morning he asked to come home and I said it wasn't what I wanted, I needed to concentrate on getting the kids better and I had a reply with a long message which basically said without us he had nothing and that he won't bother us anymore (a goodbye message).
I feel I had to let him back into our home to see the children and to diffuse the situation but now I feel totally stuck. I have repeatedly told him I don't want to stop him going out or having time with his friends I simply want him to drink less so I don't have to deal with the aftermath. I can't live this way and feel it's unfair on the children too...
If anyone else has been in a similar situation and has any advice I'd be really great full to hear it 😞