Surgery

6 replies

Jusmakingit · 07/05/2023 18:55

So I am a stay at home mum to a 7 year old (in school) and 1 year old who is due to start nursery in September when I am going to college to retrain. I have no career prospects as I have been a stay at home mum and partner has always worked. I feel financially trapped as I have no income myself

for all my life I have wanted cosmetic surgery on my stomach. It’s flabby and hangs and it makes me beyond self conscious, low self esteem and completely unattractive. It’s not going anywhere as it is just generally loose skin. I don’t have money or savings so was going to save what I can from the little UC I get and any student finance I may receive. I found a place in the EU who are highly recommended and half the price of the uk.

im due to get married at the end of the year and have hit a massive stumble with DP. He said I need to forget this surgery as it’s a pipe dream and will never happen. He’s really annoyed and almost angry I have even brought it up. Not supportive of it one bit. I don’t know why cause he knows how much this gets me down and knows how it would change my life.

i have no friends or family to talk to and my body does make me very down.

am I being unreasonable to want this ?

OP posts:

BloodyInternetWeirdos · 07/05/2023 18:59

I think contemplating going abroad for this kind of surgery is madness. Miles from home, possibly alone. What happens if there are complications?

Your DP saying it’s not happening is another matter. Is he saying it because he adores you as your are and thinks it’s unnecessary, or is he financially controlling and not happy with you contemplating spending money on yourself? If it’s the latter then I’d save myself the cost of a wedding tbh.

Original poster

Jusmakingit · 07/05/2023 19:07

BloodyInternetWeirdos · 07/05/2023 18:59

I think contemplating going abroad for this kind of surgery is madness. Miles from home, possibly alone. What happens if there are complications?

I completely understand regarding a clinic abroad. I have been researching it extensively and a few celebrities and a few of my actual friends have used this place so I do trust it, but get if things go wrong it’s wouldn’t be great being in a different strange country.

im really not sure regarding partner. He doesn’t try have sex with me, he doesn’t try anything with me. Doesn’t even hold my hand and give me a cuddle. We sleep separately as well … sounds a great relationship doesn’t it lol 😂 I do love him but we are floating apart and part of it is because how unhappy I am with myself . He’s always at work and always stressed , I just feel like the hired help 🫤

OP posts:

greyhairnomore · 07/05/2023 19:42

Why are you getting married ?
I'll get flamed but UC is not supposed to pay for cosmetic surgery.
Once you've retrained and have a decent career , think again.
Also don't believe all the adverts.

Yellowsnowtogo · 07/05/2023 19:45

Maybe invest in some personal therapy first you can get reduced or free therapy via college / university sometimes. Your partner doesn't sound that great. Surgery is a personal choice I would say just be very careful.

Pottedpalm · 07/05/2023 19:45

You are marrying him??? 😮

Lefteyetwitch · 07/05/2023 19:49

BloodyInternetWeirdos · 07/05/2023 18:59

I think contemplating going abroad for this kind of surgery is madness. Miles from home, possibly alone. What happens if there are complications?

There's spending money on yourself with a haircut or getting your nails done and then there's ploughing thousands into something uncessary while having no job.

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