My friend and farting

[Mstxxx]

Sorry if any of this is crude but not sure how else to put it! My friend's farts are literally horrendous and I don't know what to do or how to approach it!

For context we have been friends for a VERY long time. She's never had the best bowels as I've noticed whilst on holidays etc together (to be honest neither do I, we both have sensitive stomachs) but farting wasn't really an issue in the past. Recently she has been staying at my house every other weekend as she works close to my house, so it is easier for her to get to - she lives about an hour away. The first time I noticed it was after eating a takeaway, the farting was horrendous. As in it literally was making me gag and it lingers in the air and isn't one of those that go away after a few mins. The worst part is when we go to sleep, we sleep in my bed as the spare room is full of bathroom tiles and work equipment at the moment. She seems to fart constantly in her sleep and my bedsheets absolutely stink and need to go in the wash and I have to air out the room all day. It is so bad that the last few times she has stayed over, the smell wakes me up and I have to sleep on the sofa.

I'm not sure what to say or how to even approach it, even if I said something what can she realistically do about it? I have tried cutting out the takeaway part of the night to see if that is what is upsetting her stomach. It definitely seems to help as it isn't so bad, but the farting is still there in the night. It even got to the point I was trying to make excuses for why she can't stay (going out with my partner, going out with friends etc) but obviously this doesn't work every single other weekend to be doing something or going out. I'm particularly concerned because we go on a cruise next week and there's no bloody window in the room that opens.

I would suggest your friend sleeps on the sofa, or sort out the spare room. Just be honest with your friend and tell her you know she can’t help it but you can’t cope with the smell.

And buy lots of plug in air fresheners and open windows for when she comes to visit.
If you must share the bed, have a can of air freshener by the bed and spray when you need to.

Also does she eat or drink anything that may be triggering it? DP gets gassy whenever he drinks Guinness. 🤢

You have agency. Why book a cruise in a closed space when you know the problem? Why share a bed then complain? YOU can decide not to do those things.
Just tell her "look susie, there's no easy way to tell you this but I can't cope with the farting in my bed. From now on please bring a sleeping bag and sleep on the sofa."

I always say you should never go on holidays with friends. It's bad news! It rarely works and so many friendships end on holidays. BUT, that aside, what on earth made you agree to go a cruise with farty friend? Did all the gas from her farts get to your brain or something? You KNOW what she is like, so wtf did you sign up for it? What is wrong with you? Did you momentarily forget what she is like? Wtf???

Sorry I should have mentioned in the post that I have mentioned it in the past in a jokey way! But she doesn't take criticism, or what seems like criticism, very well which is something I accept about her from being friends so long, but it does make it hard to say things like that to her without her getting upset :(

Sorry no advice but this certainly brightened up my dull rainy monday morning 🤣🤣🤣

I booked the cruise as a surprise last year before the farting issue got so bad - we have been on a lot of holidays together in our time as friends and this only begun a few months ago unfortunately!

The worst part is when we go to sleep, we sleep in my bed as the spare room is full of bathroom tiles and work equipment at the moment.

I’d be prioritising clearing the spare room so that she can asleep in there asap.

Sorting out your spare room would be a good start surely?

Absolutely howling at this thread!!!

Poor woman can't help farting in her sleep - sort the spare room out for her.

Sorting out the spare room seems like the most practical solution

Can you do the Kate Beckinsale thing, pop a choccy button between her cheeks and when she freaks out in the morning say she was letting rip all night, perhaps she should see the doctor for her obvious gut issues?

Or buy her a cork.

I feel your pain. (Not the bed sharing part i hasten to add) but yes, i also have a pal who does this alot. Makes me feel quite sick tbh. Some of the farts are a Follow Through type smell. Not sure yet how to broach this matter.

I have no solution but I’m crying here 😂😂😂

OP poor you. I hope you cleared the spare room for her use

Strike a match, works wonders!

Oh my god never invite her over again

I feel for you both! Are they loud? Does she acknowledge that's she's farted? This conversation would be so much easier if she does! Surely she knows they stink?!

This went from May this year to now somehow!! @Mstxxx have you been on your cruise??? Are you still friends??? Did you get gassed out on the cruise??? Are you still alive?? Does she still fart like this??? So many questions!! Update required!!

Can’t be breathing in other people’s shit particles all night every weekend, to the point they’re penetrating my sheets. Tell her straight.

Absolutely. It makes me shudder, cos I don't allow overnight guests, so the thought of having someone stay on a regular basis makes me come out in a cold sweat. 😬

Jeez, don't do this under the covers, farts are flammable, if it's as bad as you say, you'll blast the bedroom into space 😂