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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Too make a welfare call to the police

45 replies

Yellowsnowtogo · 07/05/2023 15:38

Neighbours downstairs constantly screaming and yelling at their child. Really really loud every day at least 6 times a day. I called the police. They came to the door and said the kids were fine and basically I shouldn't really call unless I saw any physical abuse. They did say they would pass on concerns to SS. But I did feel like they were me dismissing a little. So aibu in calling??

OP posts:
Original poster
Yellowsnowtogo · 07/05/2023 15:40

Or maybe I was being a bit precious??

OP posts:
Hubblebubble · 07/05/2023 15:40

No, you did the right thing and really the police were negligent. Verbal/emotional abuse is awful in its own right and can be an indication that physical abuse and neglect are going on.

Fandabedodgy · 07/05/2023 15:41

You did the right thing. Your call is logged. But next time I would suggest NSPCC or Social Services as first port of call.

YANBU

ThinWomansBrain · 07/05/2023 15:41

Maybe contact SS or childline?

ThatFriyayFeeling · 07/05/2023 15:42

As long as you called 101 and not 999 then YANBU.

Poppyblush · 07/05/2023 15:43

Call social services

Ellemeg82 · 07/05/2023 15:43

You did the right thing but in my experience they rarely care.
I had the same when I lived in a flat. Horrific verbal abuse shouted at kids under 6. But police, council and SS said kids were clean and fed so no issues.
Felt powerless. After I moved I still thought of them a lot and could only pray things improved.

JMSA · 07/05/2023 15:43

You still did the right thing, OP. Well-done for not turning a blind eye Star

Theunamedcat · 07/05/2023 15:45

Thing is if you call nspcc and they "hear" it in the background they tell you to call the police

Original poster
Yellowsnowtogo · 07/05/2023 15:45

Well a mixed bag of replies. Yes I was thinking what about emotional abuse, surely it can't be healthy for the kids? Yes the SS bar is very high for intervention.

OP posts:
Chrispackhamspoodle · 07/05/2023 15:50

You can make an anon referral to NCPCC online.Keep doing if it you keep hearing it

Bemyclementine · 07/05/2023 15:53

Report it to social services, abd then, if you can , keep a note if days and times and anything you hear for a couple if weeks, sbd send that in.

The family may well be on SS radar already.

Cantthinkofaname2203 · 07/05/2023 15:53

Yellowsnowtogo · 07/05/2023 15:45

Well a mixed bag of replies. Yes I was thinking what about emotional abuse, surely it can't be healthy for the kids? Yes the SS bar is very high for intervention.

Unless it’s neglect so bad the police have to remove the children immediately under a PPO all they can do is pass the concerns to social services.

it’s social services job, not the police’s. Call them and report your concerns. Like you say though, the bar is very high for removal, it needs to be real neglect. They may offer parenting courses etc though.

ily0xx · 07/05/2023 15:55

This is so horrible. How could anyone scream abuse at a small child!? Absolutely disgusting. I’d record it and contact SS. Take a video if it’s that loud and have as evidence. They don’t do much without evidence.

Original poster
Yellowsnowtogo · 07/05/2023 15:57

I don't know exactly what they are saying as they don't speak English. So I don't know if it's swearing. But honestly it's so loud. I can hear it over the TV! Ps I'm not racist in case anyone comes on here and tries to make it out.

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nirbil · 07/05/2023 15:59

How do you know they are shouting at their child and not each other?

Fandabedodgy · 07/05/2023 15:59

nirbil · 07/05/2023 15:59

How do you know they are shouting at their child and not each other?

That's not good welfare for a child either.

Original poster
Yellowsnowtogo · 07/05/2023 16:01

It's an adult voice.

OP posts:
nirbil · 07/05/2023 16:02

Yellowsnowtogo · 07/05/2023 16:01

It's an adult voice.

You said the neighbours so I assumed 2 adult voices.

nirbil · 07/05/2023 16:02

@Fandabedodgy

I wasn't suggesting it was.

AlltheFs · 07/05/2023 16:05

If the children are school age and you know which school, you can report it to the school safeguarding lead. They are bound to act on it and if they also have concerns that will add weight.
I’d flag it to Social Services and NSPCC m every time. You are definitely doing the right thing.

Original poster
Yellowsnowtogo · 07/05/2023 16:07

Just wondered if it has become so normalised the shouting at children? I mean I have lost my temper and have occasionally shouted we are only human after all.

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ShimmeringShirts · 07/05/2023 16:24

So you can hear a person shouting, you don’t know what they’re saying so how do you know they’re shouting at the children? How do you know it’s angry shouting and not someone calling through the house for something? What makes you suspect the children are being abused?

Toomanylatenightprogs · 07/05/2023 16:26

I think sometimes the people who do verbally abuse their children ( and possibly each other, or one adult shouting at another) have the answers ready if authority comes calling. It was the children arguing and shouting, one child has problems and makes a lot of noise, and so on.

You did the right thing OP. Any other neighbours you know who’ve also heard the shouting?

Original poster
Yellowsnowtogo · 07/05/2023 16:26

Adult screaming then children crying, banging clattering. Adult screaming and shouting on repeat. Other adult is out most of the day, so just one adult in the house

OP posts: