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Original poster

She always wants to fight

21 replies

Chilleddayathome · 07/05/2023 14:40

My 4 almost 5 year old Dd.
Her favourite thing is fighting…play fighting, but she gets quite rough. Is this usual for a girl of this age? 🙈

OP posts:
pikkumyy77 · 07/05/2023 14:43

Its usual for her, apparently! She may be working out something through this specific form of play. She may be imitating something she sees you doing. Or trying to manage fears of losing a fight or being dominated by others.

Original poster
Chilleddayathome · 07/05/2023 14:45

@pikkumyy77 I’m not sure, it’s more like superhero/sonic type games

OP posts:
junebirthdaygirl · 07/05/2023 14:51

Yea it's fun for her. Let her at it . It will make her brave and able to stand up for herself. Also if she gets involved in team sports she won't be afraid of anyone tackling her which is a great skill to have. Let her decide as long as she is not hurting anyone.

midgemadgemodge · 07/05/2023 14:52

Superhero sounds perfectly normal

Original poster
Chilleddayathome · 07/05/2023 14:55

@junebirthdaygirl Just been playing it with her 😂she ends up getting a bit rough though and carried away. I suppose I just thought with it not being a stereotypically *Girl thing to do, if any others do it too? Not that it matters at all, just curious

OP posts:
CalamityClam · 07/05/2023 14:56

It’s not a GIRL thing. It’s a CHILD thing.

MatildaTheCat · 07/05/2023 14:56

More of a child thing to do? And obviously only some children.

pikkumyy77 · 07/05/2023 15:01

Just because she plays superhero doesn’t mean she isn’t working out real life big feelings.. on the contrary thats exactly what play is for children! A way of taking familiar things: cooking, riding the bus, rescuing and playacting it to learn how to do it.

Original poster
Chilleddayathome · 07/05/2023 15:02

@pikkumyy77 So should I be worried if she wants to fight a fair bit? 😬

OP posts:
User2538309 · 07/05/2023 15:12

It’s just one of those things that we see as normal in boys and strange in girls because generally (historically) girls have been socialised to #bekind above everything and that’s what we all expect even if we don’t mean to! Sounds like normal play to me, and you wouldn’t even have noticed if your child was a boy.

Worth thinking of good variations on fighting too. Can you help her create an obstacle course, pretending to save someone/a favourite toy, be a ninja trying to sneak around, floor is lava - those type games?

gazpachosoupday · 07/05/2023 15:25

I am not sure you would be asking this question if you had a boy.

But, my son went through a phase like this and we would stop when he got too rough. Mainly because if he tried to play it with friends, someone would get hurt

Reugny · 07/05/2023 15:30

floor is lava

Bloody hate that game.

Btw my DD likes playing superheroes and play fighting as well but it isn't all the time.

Redlarge · 07/05/2023 15:32

I only know one child that plays violently. Not normal

TellHimDirectlyInDetail · 07/05/2023 15:35

That's like asking if it's normal that your child's fav colour is yellow. Yes it's normal, it's probs not the majority though as there's lots of colours. Is it a concern? No not at all.

forgotmyusername1 · 07/05/2023 15:44

Enrol her in judo

JudyGeller · 07/05/2023 15:53

My nearly 3yo girl loves rough and tumble and loves to play superhero’s daily with the play fighting thrown in there for good measure.

She also loves to play with trucks, cars, buses, dolls, have tea parties, be the princess with a lightsaber etc. like someone said, it’s not a GIRL thing it’s a CHILD thing I never worry about what she’s playing with, if a toy she picks is more of a “boy” toy for her birthday, as long as she’s happy I’m happy!

Try not too think too much into it op, if she’s happy and thriving just be sure to tell her when it’s getting a bit rough but she’s still learning and having a great time doing it with an active imagination.

Whattodo112222 · 07/05/2023 17:59

In the same boat ..my arms are bruised and sore today from being punched, pinched, jumped and slapped by DD4.

User2538309 · 07/05/2023 18:48

forgotmyusername1 · 07/05/2023 15:44

Enrol her in judo

Good shout, or karate!

User2538309 · 07/05/2023 18:49

Reugny · 07/05/2023 15:30

floor is lava

Bloody hate that game.

Btw my DD likes playing superheroes and play fighting as well but it isn't all the time.

Each to their own, but I love it and remember as a kid it was endless fun especially in places we were allowed to really clamber on everything!

forgotmyusername1 · 07/05/2023 18:54

My 10 year old autistic son does judo at county level. Started at 7 (would have been earlier but twas covid. They take them from 5)

Biggest thing for him is learning respect and that when someone tells you to stop you stop.

Any children who are physically inclined - take them to martial arts. They learn to fall safely, they learn to follow instructions and get their aggression out in a safe environment.

JuvenileEmu · 07/05/2023 23:30

Redlarge · 07/05/2023 15:32

I only know one child that plays violently. Not normal

She isn't describing playing violently though, it just sounds like "rough + tumble". I enjoyed this kind of play as a child. It's normal (although sadly girls seem to face some weird ideas about it not being suitable for girls). However, I can reassure people that I am now a perfectly normal adult woman and not a sociopathic criminal Bear

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