Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To hate breastfeeding

58 replies

Garethkeenansstapler · 07/05/2023 12:36

I’m 6 weeks in breastfeeding DC2. I had all the same issues with DC1 but it was easier, I had no second child to look after so could just be glued to the sofa feeding all day. But I’m really struggling this time.

DS is doing well and gaining weight super speedily, so that much is good. But it’s really getting me down. I hate having to wear a bra and breast pads 24/7, even in bed, if I don’t want to soak through my clothes and leak all over the bed linen. The letdown hurts. I’m sweaty and thirsty all day. My back is in shreds from having to position and hold a 12lb baby for hours every day. I can’t wear what I want - I just put a dress on to go out for lunch only to realise it has zero access. Scrubby leggings and cardigan it is. I hate that it’s me that does all the feeds, which can be unpredictable - not as easy as ‘feeding then hand baby over to dad so you can have a bath/a nap’. I hate breastfeeding in public - no matter how discreetly you try to do it, the baby unlatches or flings it’s arms about so you have no privacy. He seems to get hungry just as I’m finally ready to go out somewhere with him and DD, so back to the lounge it is for another feed.

Does it get better? Right now I’ve told myself to get to 3 months then switch to formula.

OP posts:
SainsBrie · 07/05/2023 13:29

Don’t do it then. No one is forcing you except yourself. If it’s not working for YOU then that’s fine, you don’t need anyone else’s approval to stop. Which I think is often the point of these threads which go on about how crap BF is.

For most people BF is hard but then it gets much easier though. That’s certainly my experience.

Bimbom · 07/05/2023 13:31

Fandabedodgy · 07/05/2023 13:05

OP wants supportive advice on breastfeeding.

Replies - use formula - do engage your brains

The OP doesn't read as her wanting supportive advice whatsoever, it's just a list of reasons why she hates BFing.

I'm hugely pro BFing, fed DD for 2 years, would always want to give advice but even I read that OP and thought well just put them on a bottle then.

Hugasauras · 07/05/2023 13:32

You're at the end of the toughest bit IMO so personally I wouldn't give up now and tie myself to faffing about with formula for the next 9-10 months. At around 3mo with both DC it has got substantially easier and from around 5/6mo, extremely quick and convenient.

SunscreenCentral · 07/05/2023 13:32

It definitely gets better, and soon. Another few weeks and things will settle op.

There's enormous freedom with bf. Throwing baby into a sling, a couple of nappies and wipes into your bag and out the door was common practice for me a few months in. 6 weeks is still practically newborn baby territory, so you're doing amazingly to be getting out esp with another child in tow.

Maybe shop online for some bf friendly clothes for now, and look forward to the summer months out and about without having to lug the kitchen sink everytime

congratulations on your new baby, this time goes so fast!

SpringHexagon · 07/05/2023 13:39

Currently still breastfeeding at 14 months, and remember a time where I was crying toy partner that I didn't think I'd make it to a week, then a month, then 3, and so on. It got soooo much easier, so much so that I am unsure how to stop now 😂 even with 3 meals and 2 snacks a day my little girl is still a little milk demon.

It did take a while, but finding a more comfortable position will help alot, my little girl had reflux so I ended up having to sit her more upright which also helped me sit better.
I was extremely uncomfortable feeding in public so would feed in the car if I had it, and if not I done the muslin in my bra strap and tried to face and wall or bushes for my own comfort lol.

It honestly gets so much better and now I look back at this time last year and can't believe where I am now. Formula is an option if you want to take it, you don't even need to stick with the formula, my little girl had some in the beginning due to latching trouble, but as things got easier after a few weeks, it didn't make sense to warm up and wash bottles anymore.

You will get there, mainly by doing whatever is best for you and your family. But if you want to keep breastfeeding, please don't give up just yet.

Fandabedodgy · 07/05/2023 14:51

Parker231 · 07/05/2023 13:17

The OP is saying (and giving reasons) why she hates breast feeding. Why wouldn’t posters refer to formula when there is an excellent alternative?

Show quote history

Read her updates:

I’m hoping someone will tell me it settles down and give me some hacks as formula is now so expensive and I know I would have the faff of making up bottles if I did switch

Fandabedodgy · 07/05/2023 14:53

Bimbom · 07/05/2023 13:31

The OP doesn't read as her wanting supportive advice whatsoever, it's just a list of reasons why she hates BFing.

I'm hugely pro BFing, fed DD for 2 years, would always want to give advice but even I read that OP and thought well just put them on a bottle then.

Show quote history

You don't think I’m hoping someone will tell me it settles down and give me some hacks as formula is now so expensive and I know I would have the faff of making up bottles if I did switch

Is her asking for supportive advice? Lets just jump to ignoring that and suggesting formula.

RandomMess · 07/05/2023 15:03

It does settle quicker with each baby you feed.

I had huge babies and actually found it easier to "sit" them on my lap so I wasn't holding all their weight as they fed.

GodspeedJune · 07/05/2023 15:16

Do you remember when things got easier with your first child?

I’m bf’ing my 6 month old and it’s been a lot easier for quite a while now. It changes too, so now she’s bigger she can self latch but is also more liable to be distracted. Do you feel confident bf’ing? That has been the biggest positive change for me. I was very unsure in the beginning but have found my feet now, which helps a lot. It’s great that your baby is gaining weight well, well done to you.

ConstanceReid · 07/05/2023 15:19

You don't have to breastfeed you know! You have done 6 weeks, which is more than many, and will have given your baby a good start.

I loved breastfeeding, found it the easiest thing in the world and immensely rewarding. If I hadn't, I would have stopped with barely a second thought.

wingingit1987 · 07/05/2023 15:24

It can be overwhelming. I’ve breastfed all 5 of mine and it never really bothered me til I became unwell a few days ago and still had to feed my wee one. I had an awful gallbladder attack and was the most unwell I’ve ever been in my life. Ended up admitted to hospital and having to have my baby admitted with me. And while it absolutely was best for her (suspected CMPA so she can’t just get normal formula), I was ill and exhausted and still haven’t had a chance to catch my breath. It can be a lot!

Missscarletintheconservatory · 07/05/2023 15:38

I found that breastfeeding wasn't easy to begin with but I was pretty determined to persevere as for me I really didn't want to formula feed. My sisters said it would get easier and they were right.

You've mentioned the expense of formula so I don't know whether you could attend a local breastfeeding support group where you can access free breastfeeding advice, most are good but they can be hit and miss. I've been to a few!
I paid for one to one support from a lactation consultant which wasn't cheap but was useful.
And then it all got so easy and enjoyable and my baby has a lot of fun with it too. I am so glad we kept going.

Good luck with whatever you decide.

Wishona · 07/05/2023 15:46

I breastfed all mine…every single feed. I often think of wildlife documentaries and the impact on the mother cheetah or whatever. It is intense. You do come out the other side.

The dress thing is annoying, try a button down one and stick a muslin in your bra strap if you want to cover the top of your boob.

The leaking I found worse with each baby, not sure if it’s excess milk as your body knows what to do…it does stop eventually. It is annoying. I got fed up of feeling like I smelt milky all the time. Buy a new perfume!
I slept on a towel, maybe but a really big one so it doesn’t move around the bed as much.

If you are planning another 3 months you’ll be so close to weaning. Start working on a beaker of water straight away. As soon as they’ll take a bit of purée/baby rice/porridge and a bit of water it won’t all be on you anymore.

Rosieposy89 · 07/05/2023 15:48

H

Rosieposy89 · 07/05/2023 15:49

Honestly stop and formula feed. It's not really worth the hassle

SouthLondonMum22 · 07/05/2023 15:59

If you want to, stop. Get yourself a perfect prep machine or the nuby rapid cool and it isn't a faff at all.

If you don't want to stop, I hope it gets better for you soon.

Scottishskifun · 07/05/2023 16:12

Garethkeenansstapler · 07/05/2023 12:40

I know, I guess I’m hoping someone will tell me it settles down and give me some hacks as formula is now so expensive and I know I would have the faff of making up bottles if I did switch. I’m not a breastfeeding Puritan at all, but I remember lots of episodes of DD shrieking as I waited for bottles to cool down!

Show quote history

It does settle down most definitely!

For oversupply when very full I would use a hakaa to make sure I was comfy whilst feeding baby off the other as neithwr would manage 2 was a easy way to get a freezer stash and take the pressure off just keep a screw top bottle nearby and don't overdo it!

Clothes - buttons are your friend! Vinted has loads of dresses either specifically bf or just accidental, I would tuck a muslin in to help with spray.
Magnesium supplements can help with a variety of things with bf from feeling touched out to aversion no idea how but it definitely made mine reduce significantly.

W0tnow · 07/05/2023 16:16

It gets so much easier after about 3 and a half months! 10/10 would highly recommend, for convenience sake.

for the record, my formula fed child is en route to Oxford. My bf other two…not. 😁 But goodness, when it all comes together, it is soooo easy and convenient!

lupinlapain · 07/05/2023 16:27

This is the hardest bit. I found it got massively easier as time went on. I know I was an outlier as I breastfed until my child was nearly 2, but I genuinely believe you have done the hardest bit.

Bimbom · 07/05/2023 16:28

Fandabedodgy · 07/05/2023 14:53

You don't think I’m hoping someone will tell me it settles down and give me some hacks as formula is now so expensive and I know I would have the faff of making up bottles if I did switch

Is her asking for supportive advice? Lets just jump to ignoring that and suggesting formula.

Show quote history

She didn't say that in her OP though, which is what I was referring to.

AgentJohnson · 07/05/2023 16:28

And that’s why I expressed! I only got my boob out in an ‘can’t be arsed’ night time emergency. After seven months I was totally over it and stopped. Breastfeeding isn’t for everyone, don’t martyr yourself.

Smartiepants79 · 07/05/2023 16:32

You bf your first? so you know it’s gets easier?
It will of course get easier. Your supply will settle and you and the baby will get more efficient at it. Personally I’d say trying to make it to 3 months and then see where you’re at is a good goal to try for. I would suspect you’ll be feeling much better about it all by then.
There is of course so shame in switching or even trying mixed feeds (for out and about?) it doesn’t automatically mean you’re life with a new born and a toddler is going to get magically easier!

Thelonelychicken · 07/05/2023 16:34

I'm with you 100% wish I never started breastfeeding my 15 weeks old ds. He won't take a bottle so it's all down to me. Still have a oversupply still leaking and squirting everywhere. He's doing really well though gaining weight lovely. I'd just like someone to be able to take him for an hour or two.

I know it'll settle down really soon and I'm hoping it'll help through the 4 month sleep regression. Fed all my other dc until they were 2 but this one I just feel over it

teezletangler · 07/05/2023 16:42

If your supply doesn't settle down in the next few weeks, then try block feeding. It is very effective for dampening down supply within a few days, you just shouldn't do it until supply is established around 6-8 weeks.

Slimemonster · 07/05/2023 16:48

Parker231 · 07/05/2023 13:17

The OP is saying (and giving reasons) why she hates breast feeding. Why wouldn’t posters refer to formula when there is an excellent alternative?

Show quote history

Because if this was a woman saying she was struggling with formula feeding she wouldnt get various comments saying 'just breastfeed instead then'

Op, I found lying down to feed side ways was really helpful for my back and neck (I remember that pain well!)
If possible, can you treat yourself to a couple of cheap bf friendly dresses so you don't have to go for cardigan and leggings unless you want too?

With oversupply I just juggled with a muslin to catch the spill - that bit does get better, so does the sweating and excessive thirst.
Well done for continuing even though you haven't found it easy.