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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be hurt by this?

13 replies

WhenTheNightFalls · 07/05/2023 09:50

Left job a while back. None of my work colleagues have really bothered to stay in touch. Not only that but another colleague left the other week and she got a really loving dedication and loads of fuss where as I didn't really get anything. I had problems with people at work. It was that kind of environment but there were some I got on well with so it does hurt. One in particular was there for me. I misunderstood our plans for meeting and she turned up only for me to be asleep (Yes, have posted before about it) and she didn't bother coming back. Since then has made little to no effort.
Aibu to be really hurt? Feel invisible.

OP posts:

Valid8me · 07/05/2023 09:58

Well you say that you had problems with people at work and then when one of them does arrange to meet you, you are asleep. I'm not sure why you are surprised that none of them keep in touch.

How long ago did you leave?

LIZS · 07/05/2023 10:06

Sounds familiar . No they have no obligation to keep in touch especially since you did not keep your arrangement. Why are you still fretting about this? They have moved on, so should you.

pictoosh · 07/05/2023 10:07

People forget about ex colleagues and move on. It's not personal.

Ginnybaby · 07/05/2023 10:09

Why are you still so focused on what they do for others. You’ve left. They are not your colleagues any more. And the one who was going to stay in touch you let down badly.

stop focusing on them, it’s nothing to do with you any more

Testina · 07/05/2023 10:12

“Since then has made little to no effort.”

I suspect this thread is pointless without more detail.

But was “little to no” even mean? Has she bothered, or not?

blahblahblah1654 · 07/05/2023 10:15

I rarely keep in touch with ex colleagues. No point really, unless you really clicked with someone.

Ginnybaby · 07/05/2023 10:18

I just glanced through your other threads. You’re very entitled and you treated that woman rudely . If someone is coming to your home at lunch then being up at 11.15 would be the norm . You then made it her fault for not phoning uou to wake you up . She even made the effort to come to your home with a birthday card.

Mortimercat · 07/05/2023 10:39

You had problems at work, which I will take to mean you didn’t get along with people and therefore them not making a fuss for your leaving doesn’t seem that surprising. And if a former colleague was asleep when they were supposed to be meeting me, I wouldn’t be making much effort again either. I think you need to draw a line under this and move on.

UnbeIievabIe · 07/05/2023 10:43

You've replied on another thread to say since leaving you have nothing in common with this woman so you've not contacted her......

LadyKenya · 07/05/2023 10:51

Maybe some introspection would not go amiss.

SlashBeef · 07/05/2023 10:52

I'm sure she felt invisible when you didn't bother to wake up to meet with her

Whadda · 07/05/2023 11:07

Ah, you again.

You behaved horribly towards the colleague who was trying to keep in touch with you. I daresay she made a big effort where other colleagues had already passed the point of bothering.

You need to stop painting yourself as the victim and look at your own behaviour.

TheShellBeach · 07/05/2023 11:42

Why should she make an effort when you didn't?

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