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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Accident

27 replies

Sahm987654 · 07/05/2023 07:44

My friend got hit in the face a few weeks ago by my daughter playing on a swing. There were a couple of small cuts and bruising but otherwise no lasting damage, no stitches, etc. My friend is now not speaking to me over it and I'm annoyed as it was just a freak accident and any kid could have been on the swing. They are just ignoring me and and I thought our friendship was stronger than that. I've put myself in their shoes and 100% if it was the other way round I would not be treating them like this. AIBU?

OP posts:
IfICouldIStillWouldNot · 07/05/2023 07:46

Can you ask her to talk to you about it? Does she think the accident was in some way preventable?

GoodChat · 07/05/2023 07:50

How did it happen?

WhineWhineWhineWINE · 07/05/2023 07:50

You need to talk to her. Do you know exactly why she's acting this way? Seems strange if it was just an accident. Was she unhappy about how you reacted? Does she think it was somehow your fault? She may well be completely out of order, but you won't know unless you ask her.

Necrotic · 07/05/2023 08:00

Was your daughter being naughty at all? Was she told to stop but carried on regardless?

PotteringAlonggotkickedoutandhadtoreregister · 07/05/2023 08:01

What grown adult was near enough to a swing to be hit in the face?! Surely swing behaviour 101 is that you don’t stand near it? It’s the thing you hear all parents drilling into their kids in the park!

WeWereInParis · 07/05/2023 08:02

Was it her fault for walking front of the swing? If so then she's being ridiculous.

Or is your child a bit older and was being a nuisance and hurt your friend through carelessness? I still think the silent treatment is unreasonable, but maybe if it was something more like this she is annoyed by your reaction to your child?

towriteyoumustlive · 07/05/2023 08:05

If she got hit in the face by your daughter on a swing then that implies she was standing far too close or walked past within reach of the swing.

Maybe she's embarrassed about it?

Just message to ask if she is OK.

Tilllly · 07/05/2023 08:07

Was everything ok before this? Perhaps she's been stewing about other things?

coffeecupsandwaxmelts · 07/05/2023 08:08

I appreciate she was standing too close but did you and/or DD apologise to her?

CaroleSinger · 07/05/2023 08:09

Are we talking a 14 year old daughter or a toddler?

Ostryga · 07/05/2023 08:10

Depends on how it happened. If she walked in front of the swing then she’s being completely unreasonable. If your child was dicking about and she got hurt then I can see why she is upset .

How did you react when it happened?

nirbil · 07/05/2023 08:13

I wouldn't be arsed with a friend like this tbh. Regardless of who was at fault. A grown adult should communicate not ignore. Let this one go; it's toxic otherwise.

Glittertwins · 07/05/2023 08:21

Don't stand so close to a swing that you can be hit by it.

Bloopsie · 07/05/2023 08:22

Swings are pretty predictable,go backward and forward so it is likely she wondered on the path. Does she not have kids?

CabernetSauvignon · 07/05/2023 08:23

No idea whether YABU without knowing more about the accident.

Putyourdamnshoeson · 07/05/2023 08:28

Likely that yanbu
An adult being hit by a swing is almost always going to be the adult's fault.
If it were me or my DD I would've apologised, and felt awfulbut would, honestly have expected the friend to respond with 'don't be sorry, it was my fault'
Can you elaborate?

TheKobayashiMaru · 07/05/2023 08:37

There's not enough info to say.

WhatNoRaisins · 07/05/2023 08:40

Was the swing being used appropriately? For example a child of the age it was designed for swinging back and forth rather than someone too big being reckless?

I'd expect an adult to know not to walk too close to someone using a swing.

ohtowinthelottery · 07/05/2023 08:40

Depends on the circumstances. Did she walk too close to the swing when child was on it - in which case friend only has themselves to blame or did child 'deliberately ' aim the swing seat at your friend whilst not swinging on it - in which case your reaction to that would be the deciding factor.

GoodChat · 07/05/2023 08:41

The other thing is did she not want to go to the park but the only time you make time with her is if she joins in activities with the children?

itsgettingweird · 07/05/2023 08:42

Another who says depends on circumstances.

Personally, as an adult, I can't think of any way I'd get hit in the face by swing other than me being too close in the first place!

AtlasPine · 07/05/2023 08:43

I think the answer may lie in how you reacted to the accident. Were you really defensive from the outset? Or were you genuinely concerned for your friend?

takealettermsjones · 07/05/2023 09:02

Everyone knows you don't walk in front of a moving swing. So unless your daughter stood with the swing in her hands and went "friend, come here!" and then thwack, your friend is being weird.

mumda · 07/05/2023 09:15

Swings. Chains. Fixed length. Basic maths. Steer clear of the swing reach.
Most kids learn that aged about 5.

Hellodarknessmyoldpal · 07/05/2023 09:22

This is pretty odd from your friend. Was your child sitting on the swing? If she was it would be nearly impossible for them to have any control over the swing hitting anyone? Or was she pushing the swing and being told to be careful but continuing anyway? Either way and adult should know to stand back.