Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

Original poster

Work Colleague

17 replies

Arrrgghhhhxx · 07/05/2023 01:31

So I've been working with this colleague for about a year when she joined. I have been there for 5 years prior. We work in education. I'm not with her constantly around the school day but there is a part of the day where I have to be. The first couple months she was fine. Then when September came she completely blanked me and doesn't speak to me. You know when you know someone has a problem with you but you know you've done nothing wrong. I tried saying hello but nothing. So I thought okay maybe it's personality clash so I left it. It's getting worse, she will shut the door in my face if I am walking behind her, if I am speaking with children she will stand there staring as if she's my manager yet she's the same level as me, she's about 20 years old! I'm mid 30s! If I need to get past to get something I will say excuse me politely and she won't move. She even got involved when I was dealing with a child first and pushed into me trying to take over. I stood my ground, ignored her and carried on dealing with the child and she ended up walking off. She will stand there pointing over my way and looking at me so it looks like she's talking about me to others when I'm pretty sure they're not but it's to intimidate me. Almost like she's having a normal conversation with them but she's wanting me to think they're talking about me. The other staff are fine with me.

What do I do? It sounds petty when it comes out and it is petty which is why I feel like I can't go to the headteacher. I can't change where I am in the school as my job involves speaking to everybody. Its pathetic what she's doing. It didn't bother me at first but now it's happening more often. Has anyone else been through this?

OP posts:

Original poster

Arrrgghhhhxx · 07/05/2023 01:48

I was tempted to speak to another trusted colleague about it but I'm unsure how to even start it without sounded petty.

OP posts:

UnbeIievabIe · 07/05/2023 01:59

Speak to her? Ask her what the fuck her problem is.

VintageBlossomHill · 07/05/2023 02:42

She sounds nuts!

Frances0911 · 07/05/2023 03:23

Wow, she sounds absolutely bonkers and a bully, and is trying to intimidate you. I wouldn't be surprised that if you or someone else else asked her what the problem is, that she'd deny it, or else make something up that you're supposed to have done. Try to avoid her and have as little interaction as possible, but I really don't know what the answer is.

Frances0911 · 07/05/2023 03:28

I also think she could be jealous of you for some reason. Or you've said or done the slightest little thing that annoyed her, and now she is taking it out on you.

TakeMyStrongHand · 07/05/2023 04:00

You need to raise with her or someone senior. No way someone that batshit should be around kids.

rcat74 · 07/05/2023 04:21

I would speak to the head as it is affecting your work and beginning to affect the children if she is interfering when you are dealing with them. It doesn’t sound pathetic at all.

SchoolShenanigans · 07/05/2023 06:55

You can't talk to her if she's ignoring you.

I would spend a few weeks to a month making a list of dates, times and what she does that's unkind or unprofessional.

I would then take it to the Head and explain all you've told us. This woman has gone beyond not particularly liking you, to bullying you and that's never ok in the workplace.

She's young and needs teaching that this Isn't appropriate at work (or anywhere).

snitzelvoncrumb · 07/05/2023 06:59

I would write a list of what has happened, dates and times, who she was talking to and go to HR. You don’t need to put up with that.

determinedtomakethiswork · 07/05/2023 07:04

You should definitely talk to someone about this. People like this though are usually very very nice with other people and just isolate one person so be prepared not to be believed at first.

Summerslimtime · 07/05/2023 07:06

I would be looking at getting someone to mediate a conversation. I wouldn’t trust talking to her personally. I'd arrange a meeting with my line manager in the first instance.

SummerWhisper · 07/05/2023 07:49

I hope you are in a union. That's your first point of contact in workplace batshittery like this. Join one if not as you will need them.

Original poster

Arrrgghhhhxx · 06/06/2023 23:33

I thought I would quickly update this, but she has left the job! And it was all very quick and sudden too! I never actually got round to reporting her or anything but I do know she was rather quiet at the end according to another colleague and management moved her to a different part of the school in her last few weeks so I reckon something must of happened!

OP posts:

SkaneTos · 06/06/2023 23:38

Thank You for the update!

TakeMyStrongHand · 07/06/2023 20:14

Looks like someone beat you to reporting her! Great news!

Namemchangeforthispostonly101 · 03/02/2024 12:36

This reply has been withdrawn

The OP has privacy concerns, so we've agreed to take this down now.

Howbizarre22 · 03/02/2024 12:53

Maybe something going on in her personal life or with her mental health and it’s not just you she was treating like that? Or if it definitely was she sounds extremely immature. Or maybe she was consumed by jealousy- again her own issues or mental health causing that.
The fact school moved her shows she’d expressed some kind of personal issue. Best just to not take this personal and forget it.

Flip