DS is 6 and spends Fridays and Saturday nights at dads as I work weekends. Over the last few months dads asked to have DS 3 nights a week and threatened to take me to court. However since we split 4 years ago he has DS every Friday night then I'd probably say every other week sends DS to his mums (DS grandmas) Saturday night because he (my ex) has plans. So for the last month we've trialled this extra night so DS is now going Thurs-Sunday morning yet he still leaves DS with his mum. I just feel as though if he wants more quality time with DS he shouldn't take a night from my time with DS in the week to essentially get more time with DS without it effecting his Saturday night social life. Instead use the night DS is with grandma to spend time with him. I'd love to have DS weekends but it really is the only time I can work as I work till late. I feel It's like the equivalent of me saying I'm seeing my friends Mon-Thursday you're at work so DS will be with my mum but I'll have DS Saturday night (dads night) so I can spend time with him then. When surely the responsible thing to do would be to spend time with DS on the nights I do have him and if I choose to not use that time to spend with DS then that's my problem and shouldn't then effect dads time with DS. Completely understand parents need time off and to still have a social life but every weekend? Is this fair?
Also I've been tempted to message grandma saying I'll pick him up but then I don't want to make it sound like I don't want DS spending time with grandma and I work till late so don't think it would be fair on DS to be picking him up at bed time when he's settled. Torn because it feels unfair but then I also understand he's 50/50 our child so regardless of if DS is with him or grandma he should be entitled to have DS equal time as I and it is his choice what he does with that time.