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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask what helped you lose weight and keep it off in the long term

119 replies

Sustainablelossofweight · 06/05/2023 22:07

I have a fair bit of weight to lose, at least 4 stone or so.

I have tried and failed to get into new eating and fitness routines more times than I can count and it has become a cycle of doom which has gone on for far too long.

I know I am an emotional eater and also that my portions are too big so these are the things I need to work on however my motivation for losing weight now is that my weight keeps creeping up and I'm worried about the future, want to stay fit and healthy for my kids / husband etc.

If you have lost a lot of weight before and kept it off, can I ask how you have done this and what you do now to stay on track? Thanks in advance! x

OP posts:
Gtsr443 · 06/05/2023 22:16

I yo-yoed for years. This worked for me -
Portion control. Stop eating when you're full. Don't starve yourself or you'll binge later. Vegetarian. Don't fixate on diets - they don't work long term.
Exercise - brisk walking listening to audiobook - every day. And don't eat after 7pm.
Oh and most of all don't weigh yourself.
Good luck.

Carsarelife · 06/05/2023 22:25

Several very small meals per day and no eating after 7pm. Drink plenty of water to try and see if it's hunger you feel or thirst.
I've also tried eating 1 large meal per day and that worked too - say huge cooked breakfast, then nothing else for rest of day, or big early dinner around 4-430 then nothing else all day. Both worked.

Sustainablelossofweight · 06/05/2023 22:33

Thanks for the replies.

How did you stop reaching for an Indian takeaway delivery when you were feeling low / tired / too busy etc??

OP posts:
CorgiCoronet · 06/05/2023 22:36

You just literally need will power that’s it, if you are an emotional eater then treat the root of why you are upset or feeling down. My sister was very overweight but got out of a miserable relationship, she lost and has kept off 5 stone for about 7 years.

Kanaloa · 06/05/2023 22:39

There is no trick. I think that’s what a lot of people don’t want to accept. There’s no special ‘this diet makes you full’ or ‘this diet means you never feel hungry.’ Sometimes you will be tired and sad and want to have a takeaway. You need to say ‘I’m tired and sad but I won’t have a takeaway.’ And you’ll still feel tired. That’s it.

Gtsr443 · 06/05/2023 22:40

Sustainablelossofweight · 06/05/2023 22:33

Thanks for the replies.

How did you stop reaching for an Indian takeaway delivery when you were feeling low / tired / too busy etc??

We're very rural with no delivery options so there is no temptation for takeaway.
Batch cook and freeze things so you've always got something to eat if you're too tired to cook. Dal is a healthy alternative to takeaway curry - it's also very filling and freezes well.

effiesgoldwig · 06/05/2023 22:43

I'm on a journey of losing my weight at the moment. I'm going slow and steady so it's been 18 months and I've lost 3 stone but it's not gone up at all over that time. I'm doing calorie counting and I'm allowing myself treats and takeaways when I need them but making sure I count the calories so that I make up for it the next day or so.

I've don't all the diets in the past, atkins, slimming world, weight watchers etc etc but none of them stuck because it wasn't about a lifestyle change but about sticking to a bunch of unsustainable rules.

What I'm doing now is small manages changes that fit in with a hectic lifestyle (working full time with 3 kids and all that entails)

So I use an app to track my calories.
I keep my scales out to weigh my breakfast cereal as I was eating far too much.
I allow myself a little bit of chocolate every day.
I carry a water bottle and refill if I need it.
I've tried to be more active where I can but have struggled with this.
Because I'm not following a strict restrictive diet if I make a mistake and eat more than I mean to, i allow myself to be ok with it. I don't immediately self sabotage and just give up on today and binge on everything since I've already "broken my diet". Nothing is off limits so I don't spiral if I have a treat. I just count it in my calories and then eat an apple for pudding instead of another treat.

BloodyInternetWeirdos · 06/05/2023 22:43

Logging everything on My Fitness Pal.

It was just such an eye opener as to where calories were and what calories things contained. It was amazing to see the daily calories add up and see how easy it was to exceed targets and gain we by eating the wrong things.
It helped me make better choices and I’ve kept 3.5 stone off now for nearly 3 years.

effiesgoldwig · 06/05/2023 22:45

I should clarify. When I say it's not gone up at al over that time I mean I've not regained the weight or yoyo'd. Obviously it fluctuates from day to day.

morelippy · 06/05/2023 22:45

To answer your question... fear. Fear I was going to be ill and die before I had to. A particular event triggered this.

I did it through simply eating less and moving more but it was bloody hard and it still is.

Noshowlomo · 06/05/2023 22:46

God needed this thread!

Heroicallyfound · 06/05/2023 22:48

There’s nothing wrong with having a takeaway - just eat an actual portion, not the restaurant’s idea of a portion!

Intuitive eating has helped me. Tapping into what I want to eat and when I want to eat. Being conscious of when I’m emotionally hungry instead of physically and addressing that gap (therapy). Being conscious of when I’m eating purely because it’s a mealtime or out of habit or because someone else is eating or it’s an association (like popcorn at the cinema) etc rather than when I’m actually hungry.

Cordell · 06/05/2023 22:52

Sustainablelossofweight · 06/05/2023 22:33

Thanks for the replies.

How did you stop reaching for an Indian takeaway delivery when you were feeling low / tired / too busy etc??

Try having chicken Tikka pieces (dry) with Saag bhaji side dish xx

Panda89 · 06/05/2023 22:52

For me it was intermittent fasting. I do 18:6 and eat between 1-7pm.

For me who likes a decent portion size of food and enjoys takeaways and meals out, this works really well. I'm not a snacker and don't have a sweet tooth so it wasn't too hard to get into, just made a few changes like only drinking black coffee in the mornings, loads of water and never any evening snacks.
I lost 2.5 stone easily and didn't feel restricted. I still follow it now to maintain. As a bonus it really cleared up my acne prone skin!

LaMaG · 06/05/2023 22:57

No words of wisdom but just to say I just finished a 6 month very expensive weight loss programme with nutritionists, mental exercises etc and have lost only a few lbs. Because I didn't stick to the plan - I could say no 20 times a day but maybe cave in twice and that's enough to prevent loss. Then maybe twice a week I'd binge and undo all my work. Likw you ive done every other plan in the past and once lost a lot of weight about 10 yrs ago. What I have learned through tracking eating and mood is that my weight gain is a symptom not the cause. I do irrational things like binge on the way to my weigh in cos the stress is too much. I literally don't know how to cope with life without this crutch and its more than just a bad habit.

So I've given up and am working on myself, started reflexology for stress and writing down gratitude lists, started to go for counselling.I am trying to think of my organs not my shape and nourishing them. My hope is that in time I'll disconnect the link between my thoughts and food and then I'll be ready to work on weight loss. It is incredibly complicated for me and probably you too, people who say you just do this or that don't get it really. Best of luck

unsync · 06/05/2023 23:10

Google Slimpod.

Soakitup37 · 06/05/2023 23:14

Sustainablelossofweight · 06/05/2023 22:33

Thanks for the replies.

How did you stop reaching for an Indian takeaway delivery when you were feeling low / tired / too busy etc??

You have to drill down to what your triggers are before you start anything. Otherwise you won’t stick to it. Whatever you try will fail. Don’t change anything to start with but keep a diary and log where and when you feel your ability to stick to better choices trickle in. Is it a time of day? A weekly event that trips you up? a certain person?

mindsets like, fuck it, I deserve it need to change to I deserve to be a healthy weight. Triggers of stress need to be diverted from food to exercise or something else you can actively do to take your mind off food till your stress levels decrease. When you binge eat to comfort, remind yourself how you’ll feel after and ask yourself if you really want to feel like that today or if you’d rather feel the discomfort until it passes.

when you do start changing your diet planning ahead is key, have nice easy to make options at hand so you can still get the satisfaction of nice foods when take away temptation hits. Visualise the satisfaction of ending your meal happy with your choices not disappointed.

do document your stats, tape measures are more accurate than scales and less temptation to jump on the scale’s every day but if numbers give you incentive then scales aren’t necessarily a bad thing, ditto a Fitbit to track yourself on activity levels. I get motivated by seeing my step count get higher and am spurred on when I notice I’ve not done enough steps in a day, so I put in the effort to move more. I don’t even mean exercise, just getting the place straight and stripping beds and cleaning away can encourage me to move more! (And keeps on top of housework)

take unflattering photos, look at yourself naked in the mirror and really REALLY look, understand the body you’re in. Take note of what you like and what you’d like to change.

Find a forum for weight loss journeys- to document your efforts. I’m on a couple Reddit for me is really good while I do fasting and keto.

finally tell people your intentions, they can cheer you on, help you avoid temptation and keep you accountable, better yet pal up with someone else in real life who’s trying to achieve similar so you can encourage and support each other while working at it,

if you have a bad day, don’t undo the effort and throw in the towel. Draw a line start again the next day. Weight loss isn’t a straight line. It’s up and down and that’s ok, just plan, trust your ability and bring in a little bit of willpower.

Sustainablelossofweight · 06/05/2023 23:19

@LaMaG so complicated... yes I feel that too.

So what I have done in the past a handful of times is I've a) gone vegetarian b) given up sugar c) drank loads of water d) committed to long, fast walks every day (1.5 hours per day) and have lost the weight in around 3 months and felt great.
But I have asthma and at some point, with all of the exercise as well, I get ill with a chest infection, then the walking goes out the window and I'm coughing for 3 weeks so I get out of kilter with the exercise regime and my body is weak fighting an infection so I am less careful with the food and the cycle keeps repeating. I am most definitely going to have to use willpower as pp have said above.

Food is my love in so many ways - it represents comfort, it is my friend, it lifts me when I'm bored, it has always been my parent, from a young child! As my parents are distant and emotionally distant parents so it has been there for me since I was young... Food stops me feeling lonely sometimes, you get the gist. It helps me recover from asthma related illnesses... So I know that the emotional connection really needs to be broken.

I read somewhere that will smith's wife said that she was taught by her mother / grandmother to only eat what your body needs and no more - this is something i have to adopt or as I'm now in my mid 40s I can feel the control of my weight slippiing and sliding.

I also have to maybe create a mood board representing images of how I will feel when I am healthier and lighter. My calves and ankles have been hurting for the past few months and I know it is do with the weight gain. I have to do it and stick to it this time!!

OP posts:
PaminaMozart · 06/05/2023 23:25

I cut out sugar, refined carbs and UPF, and re-educated my palate to savour the subtle flavours of vegetables. Got myself some Mediterranean cookbooks and learned to cook healthy and delicious meals. Instead of watching TV I cook while listening to the radio.

I always have healthy snacks available, such as apples, cantaloupe, berries, carrots, or even a boiled egg. The latter are great - filled with protein and very good at killing hunger, and only 70 calories!

I no longer buy 'bad stuff' such as booze, icecream, biscuits, ready meals etc. If I really want an icecream I walk to the corner shop to get one Magnum or similar. Usually the 'need' to have one is gone before I get there. If I fancy a glass of wine i have one if I meet a friend for lunch, but again, I often find I no longer want it by the time the server takes my order. These days. I drink a lot of water and herbal teas.

PaminaMozart · 06/05/2023 23:29

Just saw your update. Maybe look at CBT to address your emotional relationship with food that seems comforting but in reality makes you feel bad about yourself, and learn to connect more positively with the healthy you?

Sustainablelossofweight · 06/05/2023 23:32

@PaminaMozart that's very powerful, connect more positively with the healthy me... wow. Thank you, will look into CBT. Also I should say I have a slightly addictive personality and don't drink anymore so have felt for some time that food 'is the only treat I have left' which is a ridiculous thing to tell yourself when you are overweight... that also needs to change.

OP posts:
Tofuislovely · 07/05/2023 00:37

I lost 4 stone OP and have pretty much kept it off. I walk each day ( but not so much it makes me hate it- and if you have asthma obviously only within sensible limits). I am vegan ( and take supplements, so I feel my immune system is actually really good). Only snacking is a couple of pieces of fruit, meals bulked up with veg. I also think a small treat each evening ( whatever your thing is) keeps you sane. Almost never eat takeaway. Ultimately though, if you're doing everything right and you can't lose weight, maybe it's your natural shape.

RoseMartha · 07/05/2023 02:34

You just have to watch what you eat and make sure you are not consuming too many calories for your level of daily activity. Think about portion sizes and don't forbid yourself certain foods or you might find you crave them more. A fit bit type watch can help you keep track of it.

I tend to do rough calorie counting in my head and look at my watch to see how much I have burnt. I average on 12k steps a day but I do sometimes have to jog in place indoors. I mainly walk as exercise and on average need to get 60 active minutes a day on my fitbit.

Also try and get at least 5 a day fruit and veg in.

Sometimes I cant be bothered but I really have to make myself.

user1471553275 · 07/05/2023 02:41

Like another poster I'm still a work in progress. Last year I was told I was pre-diabetic. It was the wake up call I needed about the serious health issues I may face. I wasn't unhappy with how I looked particularly but was aware that I was needing to buy larger clothes.

My plan was to watch what I ate and that would be enough but I talked with a friend and she asked how I felt about joining a gym. It wasn't for me. Or so I thought. A few days later I had a change of heart, I could try it and see.

I go to the gym 4-5 times a week now. Before work as I have long hours in a stressful job and it's been life changing. We got a trainer and I think that's been a big part of the commitment as I can't let my friend down either. We have a session with the trainer and then go ourselves. I tend to go much more though. When we first started I was incredibly unfit and I was terrified of going on my own. I bit the bullet and went on a weekend when it would be quiet in the run up to get going on holiday and I've never looked back.

I'm about to do my first 5k in memory of my stepfather who died in Dec. I was devastated by his loss but kept going so that something good could come out of his passing. I think that's been helpful having something to aim for.

My weight came off very easily to start then slowed after a couple of months. I started using My Fitness Pal and as another poster notes it's a real insight into how calorific something is. You just don't realise!

I took one picture at the start and some measurements about 3 months in. Starting in July last year I've lost just shy of 3st and have 2 to go. I'm 5'7" and now 13st 8lbs. I feel brilliant and that's been a massive boost. I can see the change in my shape, definition in my arms and I'm much fitter. I only took up the running at the end of Jan and it's been a fast transition from puffing like a potato after a minute to now comfortably running for about 8 mins.

Consistency is the phrase my trainer tells me is key. I've not done a fad diet. One friend was insistent no carbs. I've maintained a lifestyle I can live with. I eat out at least once a week and I don't feel guilty. I'm organised with packed lunch for work and make very conscious food choices to volume eat (I thought I hated salad, it was just figuring out what I liked).

I don't have kids so I'm fortunate that I have flexibility but I'm in the gym for 7:30 and home about 7/8pm at night. It's a lifestyle change but the best thing I ever did. I'll be gutted if when my blood tests are redone I'm still pre-diabetic but I'll carry on. The gym has given me back a sense of control from a very stressful job that was making me ill. It's a completely different mindset for me now but I had to want it badly enough and I just didn't before. Good luck but there's no fast fix.