How do I tell dh that he's a REALLY bad cook?

[Ohmygodmakeitstop]

I don't know what he does to everything to make it so shit.

Of course I'm grateful for him cooking sometimes (not often, thankfully), but it's getting to a point where I dread him cooking.

We are beyond skint at the moment, and he has used up so many things in one really crap dish, and I'm fuming. Not only that, but I have to sit and eat it and pretend it's nice because I don't want to hurt his feelings.

What do I do? He's so proud and chest puffy-outy when he does it, and generally he's an ok partner. But mother of God 🤮

He can cook a really good steak, tbf. But those days are gone for a while!

Can you sit down and divvy up household tasks and make it so you always cook and he always does the laundry or whatever? Either that or cook with him until he gets it maybe?!

Sympathies. What was it? Could you suggest that during these difficult times he should look to keep costs as low as possible by sticking to extremely simple, cheap dishes requiring a minimum of oven time? If there are any leftovers, I assume he will be doing his duty and eating them for lunch over the next few days.

What did he cook? I really want to know.

I kind of want to know what he cooked that was so bad??!!!

Problem is, he thinks he's great. So he would be really hurt and feel really patronised if I offered to 'help'.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not exactly Delia Smith myself, but at least I can make some tasty things.

Mines the same. It's usually some kind of awful tomato pasta dish with bland chicken and always always so much paprika.

It's utterly terrible and I can never hide my disappointment

My partner is not a great cook and does not enjoy the process. So we just agreed that i would do the whole cooking and he does many other stuff that I cant for example DIY etc. So just have that conversation…

Just tell him in a nice way. Pretending something is nice is gaslighting and lying. That never ends well imho. It’s best to be honest and perhaps cook together so you can gently tutor him on what to do when you see where he is going wrong?

Ooh or meal plan and set out the ingredients so he can only use what is listed if money is a bit tight? Woukd that work and also improve the meal?

What was it and why was it so bad?

Problem is, he thinks he's great.

You caused that problem by pretending he is great. It’s not going to go away on its own. Better to tackle it before it becomes a full size elephant in the room.

Just be kindly honest - I appreciate the effort but I didn't really like what you cooked tonight.

I'm scared to say what it was in case he stalks me on MN. I don't think he does, but I can never be sure...

Ah, fuck it. It was quiche. He's used all the bacon, all the eggs and what was left of the flour to make dreadful pastry. I'm terrible at pastry myself, so I don't make it.

And then mashed potato, which he used to be really good at - that's like some awful runny potato puree. I'm so fucking disappointed, I was starving hungry.

You need to adopt the over-praising the good things and bring politely unenthusiastic about the others. Then request he cooks ‘his’ pork steaks, or whatever. My DH is a chronic ‘one more random ingredient’ adder and so I sympathise, but I basically stop him cooking anything in a sauce (curry, casserole, pasta etc) and direct him towards grilling ingredients with veg, probably with a bread or potato carb element. So BBQ chicken thighs in a brioche bun, with corn on the cob = good. That sort of thing.

Quiche and mash??

Can’t you at least say - ooh, what happened to the mash, it’s a bit runny?

I sympathise with all of you with the same issue, really I do.

I don't want to hurt his feelings. He'll have that face like I've kicked a puppy.

Yes, and it was my bloody idea when he said he was making quiche, because I love cold quiche with mash and beans 🤦🏻‍♀️

My bad. My terribly, terribly bad.

I would rather risk the sad puppy face than a repeat of badly made quiche with runny mash.

I did actually say that about the mash, in a kind way. He doesn't know. But he's done it the last few times he's made mash.

Who even thinks quiche and mash go together? It should be sautéed potatoes IMO. But it sounds like he's tried to make puréed potatoes.

Quiche was a bit ambitious for a bad cook. I think you need to come out and say what you're not keen on, or he's going to keep producing it.

Quiche- just don’t eat the pastry and gently wrinkle your nose and say it must be an off day as the pastry isn’t quite right.

Mash- bung it back in the pot and heat on low heat until it gets less runny. Usually this happens if you over boil the potatoes or cut them into too small chunks.

Life is too short to shove food behind your teeth and pretend it is edible.

DH was like that, utterly dreadful, but he thought he was great. It didn't help that we were really poor and didn't have the money to waste. He would bulk cook too..the same one dish. So, instead of chicken being made into a couple of different meals, he would make 4 large pies. He is much older and in poor health now, so he forgets anyway. It's a pain getting home from work and having to cook, but at least it's not the same thing all week.

Quiche and mash no, quiche and sauteed potatoes?? No.
quiche surely goes better with greens, nice salad. Quiche is heavy enough.

Oh and DH would bulk out..by adding bread..so soggy bread in it too...inedible but it was eat it or go without.

He went through a phase a few years ago of serving everything with a side of toast