Multiple Savings account for baby opened by others

[CookieBaker88]

AIBU about family members telling me they’re opening multiple savings accounts in my baby’s name?

Just sounding out a bit here to figure out if I’m being unreasonable or not. Would be good to get some neutral opinions.

My baby was born last year, and since then individual family members (on my side) have said that instead of buying Christmas presents etc, they’ve opened a savings account for the baby. We haven’t been given any documentation and we intended to open up an account for baby soon ourselves, being the parents. I should add we are more comfortably off than most of my family.

My gut instinct is to feel quite put out by this for some reason, I thought if they wanted to do such things they would do it with us or let US Open one for baby which they contribute to. It seems messy for baby to have all these accounts everywhere.

My mother is one of the people and is a bit of a nightmare/control freak to be honest and I can’t tell if I’m letting issues I’ve had with her previously taint my reaction to this. She oversteps boundaries, wants to be involved (aka in charge) of everything regarding “her precious grandchild”. The nightmare mother in law is in fact my mother in this scenario… I want to not see everything she does as a dick move tbh. The other people are not like this.

If they want to put some money aside for the baby let them, unless you’ve handed over your babies birth certificate it’s not an account in their name.

Don’t see what the issue is tbh.

It's easy enough to google or search for the UK rules on this.

Anyone can get a copy of a birth certificate, so it might well be in the child's name.

I've just opened savings accounts for my 2 children. I had to have documentation for them & for me. My mum tried to open accounts for them first but was told a parent needed to do it eventhough she had my permission. Also I'm sure they can only have one isa at a time. So they may have opened accounts but unlikely that they're in your child's name x

It's not enough on its own these days for either a bank account or a passport.

You sound unbelievably ungrateful.
I opened an account for my niece and nephew - told my sister and said not getting it until they are 25. Never told who what where or when - her husband asked me once how much was in them and I declined to tell him - they were divorcing at the time. He was re writing his will and wanted to give my DNs less than his DCs from earlier marriage to even it out.

None of his business and he should treat his DCs equally. Eldest DN is 25 next year - she and I had a chat about what to do next and she was extremely grateful and shocked by the amount. She can tell who she wants next year but has actually asked me to still manage the fund until she needs it.

It is my monies for my DNs and between me and them not their parents.

No, I never said anything about them having a birth certificate. They’ve all opened these accounts in their own names from what I understand

you can open an account in your own name with a designated person on it.Mine said Lookluv - godmother to DN

Very easy to do

Exactly. They'll never have to buy your DC a present in their lives (fair enough) and put monies in lieu into savings accounts that they own.

They may or may not choose to hand it over to your DC when your DC is older.

Or they could go on a cruise or piss it away on a luxury motorhome / pens / wheelbarrows.

You’re echoing my sentiments exactly, that it just feels a little off that we don’t have any idea.

As I said I just needed some neutral opinion s and I think the most responses say it’s fine so I’ll take that.

Some of the comments are so odd and presumptive. I’m definitely not ungrateful at all, and no one’s had my baby’s birth certificate

exactly, that’s the other bit that doesn’t sit right with me. But I don’t want to seem untrusting (even though the problem is, I am… !) the money’s not ours to begin with but I’d honestly rather they buy our DC something he likes or put a tenner in a card, buy an outfit even, than multiple mystery accounts including apparently an ISA… (?)

As an adult I can attest that these accounts are a pain in the arse.

The time and effort spent prizing my own money out accounts in my own name is definitely less than my hourly wage. Either put it all in one official account, or keep it in your own account and document it in your will.

But don't lumber the poor kid with admin and pretend you're doing an entirely selfless and lovely thing.

The money could go on care home fees if not in the child’s name and I’d be very unhappy about an ISA as you can only add to one in any tax year.

I'm not sure why the comments are so contrary. YANBU to be annoyed at people 'pretending' to help.
Better to not give anything at all, than 'pretend'. It's weird and controlling.

What are you upset about? It’s a lovely thing for people to do, it doesn’t have to be an account in his name but just a separate little account they pop some money in on birthdays/Christmas.

I've read stories like yours.

What happens next is your ds becomes an adult and would like to use the money for something like a car or go travelling but your mum doesn't agree that's how they money should be used. She doesn't tell you how much is in the account so you have no clue if it stretches to what ds would like to do with it and he ends up having to write it off and receive it when they die if it's not been used on care home fees or passed onto a new spouse who gives it to their children.

As you say this ties into her controlling nature. She doesn't want to spend the money on a gift but judges you for what you buy and how much/how often you buy so thinks her way is best.

Best thing to do is to let it go and pretend it doesn't exist.

I think that the real potential problem is that she has others pay into this account too. If she doesn't tell you who is contributing and how often, you can't thank them and she can use this to make you look bad.

I just put money into my dd bank account and she transfers it across to dgs savings accounts. Surely that is the normal way, or I could put it directly into dgs accounts but I send it to DD to decide if she wants to spend it on something for them now or if not then save it for them.

There's a difference between

a) Stashing money away as a 'surprise'.
b) Doing so 'in lieu of' Christmas and birthday gifts.

You gave the money to your nieces but others might not. Again, nobody expects a gift but if someone did b) I'd just assume they had not given my child anything and act accordingly, until the money was actually under my/my kids' control.

I think it's best you open an account in your child's name and let people who've expressed wanting to make savings know it exists and they can start paying into that instead if they wish. If they choose not to there's nothing you can do about it

In order to open a savings account in a child’s name you need to be their legal parent or guardian. So whatever they’ve done, it isn’t open an account in your DCs name.

How did you manage to do that?

so not at all in the baby’s name then 🙄

Families can’t win can they? The number of people on here complaining about their kids getting bought piles of huge unnecessary plastic tat every birthday & Christmas would love the idea of family just putting some money away instead.

Have you posted about this before?

No one has opened an account for the baby, as legally they can't without birth certificate.

Instead they have said that they won't buy presents and Instead will save money on the child behalf.

However, you don't trust that they are actually going to save anything.

You need to just accept that they won't do presents and completely utterly forget about any potential savings.

Then if at some point there is a lump sum for thr child its a nice to have rather than something you are relying on.