Moving this weekend and partners friend is staying

[Urgsleepmoresleep]

More of a rant …

Moving in with my partner this weekend. Moved half my stuff last weekend and rest is going this weekend. Plan was he was going to help me move small bits of furniture and my desk on Sunday as I wfh. I am only there whilst waiting my my new house to be built. A cash buyer offered on my house and wanted my furniture too but they wanted a quick sale. So moving in with DP for a few months. Don’t need to be out my house till Thursday.

He has a 3 bed house. My stuff is being stored in his loft bedroom and the smaller bedroom is going to be my office. I need to work on Tuesday and can’t just use a laptop. We were going to spend weekend sorting house out for me to over into.

His friend has turned up for the weekend and asked to stay. Only room is loft room. My partner said originally he would help on to move the little furniture and rest if my stuff as 3 cars would be easier and he lives 30 mins away. Now he can’t as his friend is not leaving till late. I am having to lug my stuff round tomorrow and hope he can help on monday. But as tonight has demonstrated they will spend weekend drinking.

Partner said don’t worry he can pick my stuff up on Tuesday. But I need my office set up for Tuesday and don’t really want to rush about on Thursday. Partner said he couldn’t say no as friend just turned up. Said he will give him a key and will try and help. But the friend is sleeping in the room that my belongings will be in.

Frustrated plan has changed. Was looking forward to settling in and Storting my stuff out. would be fine if friend was going to be there till Sunday as we could move on Monday.

Is this typical behaviour from your partner? If so thank your lucky stars you aren’t moving in with him permanently!! And once you’ve moved back into yours reconsider everything. Most people
would say oh you can’t stay past Saturday night sorry we are filling that room on Sunday with furniture.

"Partner" has just prioritised his friend over you.

There could be a compromise in that the friend helps to move the furniture?

Well he's set his stall out hasn't he.
Do you have any other options?

I don't think it's OK to change plans at such short notice but I do think you are being over the top. Your DP is letting you take over 2 rooms and share the third which is rather generous. You're also being a bit precious about the friend sleeping in the same room as your belongings. So what? Isn't that normal when people have guests they stay in a room that has the homeowners own stuff in? If you've got anything particularly sensitive or delicate just store it in the study or bedroom.
You also don't need your work stuff set up on Tuesday if you don't have to leave your place until after this. You are also probably more than capable of setting it up yourself.
I get that your boyfriend has let you down last minute and you have a right to be annoyed but, given you are leaving your furniture and have already moved half your stuff, how much is there to go? Can you compromise on him during one trip with the friend?

I swear there were paragraphs in that, stupid app!

it’s not typical behaviour. He rarely has friends stay. We are going to an event on Saturday during the day. He said to his friend we had plans. But said his friend just turned up with a bag at his door. Apparently friend has fallen out with his wife. My partner can’t say no.

@Scienceadvisory i don’t care his friend is sleeping there or anyone. It’s the fact I can’t set stuff up in that room. We have just dumped things there with a plan to tidy up this weekend. I need my desk etc moved before Tuesday as I need his big car. I won’t fit in mine. He is working late this week.

Find a van and pay someone reliable to move the big stuff for you; your partner has let you down badly and you must be able to work.

Hard to say without knowing exactly what the friend is going through. "Friend has fallen out with his wife" could be anything from a minor spat to friend being in serious distress over a relationship breakdown. If the friend is having a serious crisis and has been kicked out by his wife, then your partner is doing the decent thing in letting him stay and spending so much time with him. Your partner is being very generous to let you move so much of your stuff in and stay with him, so perhaps he is just that sort of person?

Your partner sounds like he gives a lot of themselves. Letting you utilise every bedroom in his home, supporting a friend in a crisis. I don't think I could be cross with him for this.

Your partner could have said no, he chose not to. He knew the logistics of your move in, your needs, but discounted them for someone who just turned up on his doorstep. He doesn't sound like a keeper.

Could you leave your work set up in situ and carry on working at your house as late as possible? In the meantime, move everything else that you can, leaving space to slot your work set up into fairly quickly when you can?

I duno it's a bit of a non issue as far as I can see. A friend has asked to come and stay at your partners house. He's still planning on helping you. Yes the plans might change slightly to what you had in mind. I mean you are moving in for your benefit and convenience so I think it's a bit off to be pissed off that all his plans in his home don't benefit you.

@IamnotSethRogan @Saltybanana She moved in May.

@GoingToBeLessRubbishAtLife oh well done, hadn’t spotted that! Odd that it’s been trending…

A lot of these old threads pop up because of the ‘similar threads’ section.

But we’ve all done it sometime or the other!

Surely the obvious thing is for the three of you to move the furniture?