Am I wrong to be disappointed

[Marzipananne]

Son had a few friends round for his birthday today. One of them leapt hard onto the chair then rocked in it and fell back into the coffee table. The chair back bar cracked in two places. I didn't shout at him or tell him off. I asked if he was ok (he is) and I took it in the other room and tried not to weep because the table and chairs are new. I had a broken table for ages before affording this set.

I told the mum what happened. She hasn't offered to pay.

Am I wrong to be annoyed. I don't want to make a big deal out of it but I would offer. I'm just so upset.

I have so many other bigger family and health worries right now so I'm trying not to let it get me down but am I being unreasonable to be disappointed.

I just wouldn't have the kid around again in my home.

I had three kids round for tea because I can't afford a large party.

I can't afford all the things other kids fo and it depresses me.

His grandad my dad is dying of cancer so I wanted to at least have a small party to curry ds up

Nice to be told I can't afford that either

God I'm so depressed

Cheer not curry. Anxious typo

There's no point being nice, just text her and tell her how much it will cost to replace or repair and include your bank details.

If you bought this new then I think I might try telling the manufacturer that its not fit for purpose… if it is still under guarantee.

I would be mortified if this was my child however and would have offered to pay!

I’m so sorry you are having a rough time OP 💐 this is the last thing you need x

Don't worry op your son probably had a great time and kids don't need lots of things. Just to know you cared and did that for him.

The kids mum was an arse for not offering to a pay, the child I would try and avoid having over if his mum can't teach him to be respectful in other people's houses at that age he should. I would be mortified if my 10 year old did this.

So sorry to hear about your dad and you are having such a difficult time you must be going through hell right now and the chair just added to how you feel. The broken chair will not feel so bad tomorrow or in a couple of days.

Did your son like his treat and enjoy himself?

Sorry for letting my emotions get the better of me that one comment blaming me just got me.

Thank you for the replies.

My son had a great time. He was so happy.

I am so sorry about your dad OP, I am not surprised you feel overwhelmed.

I think you did absolutely the right thing not asking for payment - if she was willing to pay she would have offered and if you ask her it may cause you more grief, which you don’t need right now.

You are a lovely mum who gave her son a fun party and you kept calm when inside you were very upset. He will have noticed and will appreciate it. He’s at an age where children get very embarrassed about things and if you had made a big deal of it I am sure that would have upset him. Money is not everything and kids who get everything they want and rule the roost do not grow into particularly nice adults, in my experience. The effort you went to for your son’s birthday means so much more than you probably realise now.

The chair can be repaired, when you can afford it. Don’t let this woman take up any more of your mental energy, it will just bring you down and you need to look after yourself.

Wishing you and your father well OP 😘

I'm so glad op you as the previous poster said you handled it so well and allowed your son to enjoy his party even though you had felt that upset which I don't blame you I think I would of struggled to hold it all in, you are stronger than you think. You sound like a really good and loving mum and that's what important to your son. I hope you have someone who can support you right now and you can off load to. Look after yourself, what you are going through is so hard. I lost my dad to cancer a few years back x

Sounds like things are really rough atm OP.

If you don't mind losing the relationship if it goes wrong, I would text her.

I'd say
'Hi, I've contacted my insurers but the excess is too high to make a claim for the broken chair. It was brand new so to have it broken so needlessly is frustrating. I'd appreciate the £x so I can replace it please'.

I can't understand your logic here?? If you aren't well off your kids shouldn't ever be allowed to have their friends over? How dare the plebs socialise eh...

OP I would send her a message explaining that you were hoping to not have to ask but your insurance wont cover the chair their child damaged so please can they contribute towards the cost.

This. She should be paying

Sorry to hear you are having such a tough time.

I don’t think you can ask for the cost or expect her to pay really. If she had been present and seen him do it then she should pay as she reasonably could have stopped him but as he wasn’t under her care I think she would be put out at being asked to pay.

Having said all that, in this situation, I think I would have offered to pay half but expected the host to refuse.

Hope you manage to find a solution.

Nasty response.
Is there really any need to reply like this, blaming the OP, when they’re clearly disappointed and now have broken new furniture 🤷‍♀️