DD7 has a half hour swimming lesson every Sat round lunchtime. We have a baby too so our day usually revolves around getting ready and homework etc in the morning then after the lesson we have lunch in town , go to the playground and get shopping etc done - mundane but a nice way to spend time together as a family after busy weeks.
Ive unfortunately been very unwell recently and needed time to recover from surgery. One weekend when I wasn’t feeling up to going DH asked PIL if they wanted to join him and baby to watch the swimming lesson and grab lunch after. I didn’t mind as I wasn’t well.
Fast forward a few weeks and they seem to think they have open invitation to come every week. There was one weekend it didn’t run but last week FIL asked if they could come as he was in the area. It was the first time I was feeling up to going out so I said to DH please can you let him know that it doesn’t really work for us as I’m coming along for the first time since surgery and feeling anxious about being out and about (my confidence is very low as it’s taken nearly two months to be nearly recovered).
He’s just told me they are planning to come tomorrow and we’ve had a big row. My PIL have form for just muscling in on things and I think they are going to start seeing this as something they can just invite themselves to every week. DH often works Sundays so I feel this is the one regular opportunity for us to have time at the weekend as a family but they are going to start expecting to come along every weekend and it completely changes the dynamic. So as not to drip feed, we get on ok but they have been pretty nasty to me in the past and when they are around they obsess over DD and no one else gets a look in, plus they will want to hang around for ages and then most of Sat is just gone.
AIBU to ask DH to manage expectations that we don’t mind them coming along from time to time but don’t want them to think this is a weekly thing? As background, they get plenty of time with DD as they look after her after school once a week, regularly see them other times over the weekend and holidays and DH meets his dad for lunch every week. I said he wouldn’t be happy if my parents were expecting to join us every time but he doesn’t seem to get it.