Page 2 | Parents at preschool parties - who pays?

LabLabrador · 2023-05-05T20:00:53+00:00

I'm not from the UK so I am not sure on party etiquette... If your DC is invited to a preschool party (3-5 year olds so not drop and go) at a venue that charges admission would you expect the host to pay for both parent and child or just the child? I have no idea so I guess that means technically I can't be unreasonable 😂but for the sake of voting: YABU - the host pays for PARENT and CHILD YANBU - the host pays for just the CHILDREN ONLY I know lots of people will probably say they would pay if they were the host but wouldn't assume the host is paying if they were the guest 😂So, if you could just vote for what you would expect as a guest, that would be helpful!

Hugasauras · 05/05/2023 21:27

Applequash · 05/05/2023 21:18

Then you pay for your entry.

Round here it’s drop and go from when they start at the local preschool. For parties where the venue has said a certain amount of adults are required the host parents often ask for volunteers and pay for them but not all parents come.

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I think that's unusual! Certainly not the case round here, nor would I want responsibility for a bunch of 3yos, some of whom might still need help getting to the toilet and stuff.

MrsMiddleMother · 05/05/2023 21:30

It's usual to pay for 1 adult and 1 child, what an odd policy.
Also definitely wouldn't leave my 3 year old! What if they get upset? Need help going toilet? Is a stranger going to do that? Thats messed up honestly

BungleandGeorge · 05/05/2023 21:32

You can’t expect the parent to pay for the privilege of attending your child’s birthday party! I’ve always provided a hot drink for parents too

BelindaBears · 05/05/2023 21:35

Applequash · 05/05/2023 21:18

Then you pay for your entry.

Round here it’s drop and go from when they start at the local preschool. For parties where the venue has said a certain amount of adults are required the host parents often ask for volunteers and pay for them but not all parents come.

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Yeah that’s not the norm. No one is leaving their 3-4 year olds at parties anywhere I’ve ever lived. I’ve also never heard of a venue where adults aren’t included in the party price so this is strange all round.

fairywhale · 05/05/2023 21:36

AddieLoggins2 · 05/05/2023 21:21

Only the children, if you can’t let your kid go to a party without lingering around that’s on you imo.

Don't really think it's lingering around if they are 3!! Who the hell does a drop and go with a pre-schooler?!

We had a party at a soft play that normally charges adult entry for my DS's third birthday. We paid a set amount for x number of adults (I can't remember how many but it was enough for one per child plus a few more). I wouldn't expect to pay at that age because it's not like they can go without you.

I would speak to the venue and explain that you want to pay for extra adults, see if they can a deal for a set number of adults. If it's a children's party venue they must have come across this before.

Nobody does, only on mumnsnet do you hear comments like this.

ApplePie20 · 05/05/2023 21:38

The thought of dropping off my just turned 3 yo at a party brings me out in a cold sweat. I’d just be waiting for the phone call to tell me he’s forgotten he’s toilet trained and peed in the ball pit or something.

Original poster

LabLabrador · 05/05/2023 21:44

Parents always stay here at preschool parties, at least the ones we have been to.

I'm in agreement that it seems cheeky to invite someone to a party and expect them to pay! I'm just shocked that it isn't included in the party package, so wondered if it was't normal. The party organiser at the venue worded in a way that made it sound like it might be usual that parents pay for themselves. She said something like "if parents want to stay for the party, they will need to buy a ticket."

I've been to soft play places where the adult pays a nominal price and the child ticket is more expensive but it is the other way round here. Adult entry is almost as much as the cost for each child's admission, party tea and party bag! At a venue aimed at under 7s 😳It seems to be popular with local preschools as a day trip so it's not like it's a venue for older children.

OP posts:

autienotnaughtym · 05/05/2023 21:48

We have done a few soft play parties . Typically the child and one adult are included in party package. I'd feel cheeky asking parents to pay.

whoateallthecookies · 05/05/2023 21:53

One of DD's friends had her 5th birthday party at a local attraction with a similar policy. The hosts paid for one adult per child. Given the attraction (large and outdoor) there's no way the hosts wanted 15 children to look after without additional adults anyway.

Okunevo · 05/05/2023 21:53

Are preschool parties common? DS was only invited to parties where I knew the parents socially at that age. I wouldn't have minded paying for myself if it was more like a meet up for parents too. School age parties I was happy to leave him. Although it's a odd set up I think you need to pay for a parent who is only there to look after their own child.

Crikeyohreilly · 05/05/2023 21:57

If I’m paying to get to your party, buying a gift and giving my time then it shouldn’t cost me any additional expense to be able to attend. Of course once inside if I fancy a coffee then I expect to pay but that is a choice not an essential expense in order to attend. If I bring any additional children and it’s a play centre for example I expect to pay for them because again it’s a choice.

orangesoda36 · 05/05/2023 21:57

@Applequash What is with the over use of the word lingering? It's hardly lingering when you are supervising your child.

I don't know anyone that would drop a 3 year old at a party then leave, the majority of them aren't even fully toilet trained ffs

I would be raging if I held a party for my DC and then discovered a 3 year old had been left unattended. Very poor parenting.

orangesoda36 · 05/05/2023 22:00

LabLabrador · 05/05/2023 21:44

Parents always stay here at preschool parties, at least the ones we have been to.

I'm in agreement that it seems cheeky to invite someone to a party and expect them to pay! I'm just shocked that it isn't included in the party package, so wondered if it was't normal. The party organiser at the venue worded in a way that made it sound like it might be usual that parents pay for themselves. She said something like "if parents want to stay for the party, they will need to buy a ticket."

I've been to soft play places where the adult pays a nominal price and the child ticket is more expensive but it is the other way round here. Adult entry is almost as much as the cost for each child's admission, party tea and party bag! At a venue aimed at under 7s 😳It seems to be popular with local preschools as a day trip so it's not like it's a venue for older children.

Have been to quite a few parties at soft play and have never been charged as an adult to attend the party. I wouldn't be thrilled if I took DD to a party and was charged £10 on admission for my entry 😂

Clevs · 05/05/2023 22:02

My five year old is going to a soft play party in a few weeks where there is a charge for adults. This cost is being paid by the parents organising the party.

transformandriseup · 05/05/2023 22:16

If I was hosting the party and there was a charge for adults I would cover their entry but wouldn't pay for adults drinks/snacks.

TheIsleOfTheLost · 05/05/2023 23:19

I thi k if they are young enough to still need their parent supervising them then you pay for the parent. You are choosing the venue, so it's your problem. Appreciate that you don't have much in the way of options, that's just how I would feel as a parent.