Not much in common with career and money focused friend anymore

[Whatsmynameagainhey]

Have a v good friend I’ve known since back in our days working together, over fifteen years ago.
Since then I had a Dd later in life and stayed with her for the first four years, I now work part time, but really only through necessity, I enjoy my job in some ways, but don’t feel the same as I used to at all. I value wanting to spend time with family and enjoying life over having extra money. We have just enough for a fairly nice life
My friend has worked her way up in our profession, I think it’s fantastic for her as it’s something she really wanted, but I don’t personally have any interest in our chosen career anymore. She places a lot of emphasis on it and talks about it all a lot, she also values a nicer car, bigger house etc. I get it, but I just feel like one of us, or both of us have changed somehow and it makes me feel sad as I can’t seem to click with her in the same way anymore.

You might change back once the intense early years of childhood are over. I did.
Kids grow up fast and leave.
I

@BansheeofInisherin Maybe…I don’t really want to though

You're phrasing it like she values money over family. Women who work can enjoy work for its own sake AND also enjoy their family.

I think it's just one of those things. You want different things out of life, which is fine. You're not really interested in hearing about her work, she probably isn't really interested in hearing about your dc.

You don't sound like you're particularly eager to hold onto the friendship so I'm guessing that you weren't ever that close? Just let it slide and make new friends. Sometimes, that's just the way it goes.

Sounds like your interests have changed and hers are the same. Like you said, it's fine. If you want her in your life you need to make space for her interests as I'm sure she does yours - your child.

Yeah, I detected a hint of judgement too. Hence my suggestion to let the friendship slide. The OP doesn't need friends who she doesn't much like. And the friend doesn't need people who are silently judging her.

Indeed. It reads as if you are a bit contemptuous of her. When all she has done is work hard and make money,which let's face it, is smart in a CoL crisis.

It is sad, but people change, move in different directions. It’s just a fact of life.
im sure your friend feels the same about you being so child focused.

Agree with PP about your phrasing.

But also, does she have children? I find that sometimes parents talk lots about their children, but find it odd when people who don't have children talk lots about their career - as they don't place the same importance on it as they do on children to me, both should be celebrated! Your child got their first tooth, wow! You managed a tricky meeting at work and got commended, again wow!

People do drift apart as life takes them in different directions. Were you just work friends or did you do things together out of work? Purely work friendships seldom last when one person leaves, but if you enjoyed each other's company out of work and did things together then there's no reason why you can't do those things still.

You're either going to have to find things to do together that you share, just be happy for each other during these 'different' years or let the friendship drop.

Definitely didn’t mean it to come across as judging her, I definitely don’t, I’m so proud of her, I used to feel full of life for my work too, I just don’t anymore. She has kids too who she talks about too, I do mine but I wouldn’t say excessively at all. She’s a very good friend and I love her, I don’t know, we just used to have more of a laugh I suppose.

@BungalowLil Friends outside of work too

It sounds like you’ve changed and your priorities are your family. You have less in common and it’s fine to either faze out or end this friendship but make sure you have other friends. It’s very easy when you’re in the young DC phase of life to give up things for yourself and I’m sure you don’t want to be in your 50’s with a teen doing their own thing and not many friends or interests that f your own.

As it sounds like you miss having a laugh with your friend you could try shaking things up a bit. Depending on what you are both into you could suggest a pop concert, do a mud run, a paddle boarding lesson, have a day in London - a show or gallery. Tell her work talk is banned and so is talking about children. See if you can still enjoy hanging out together when other things are stripped back. If she isn't up for doing anything at all then probably not worth your concern.