How to get rid of that bored feeling?

[ohlookitsblueyagain]

One of the worst feelings, the sort of bored, cba, nothing interests me at all
feeling.
Do you get it? How to get rid of it?

I’m 45, with a 5 year old Dd I adore. I had a very free life before her and spent my nights drinking wine on a beach at sunset and swimming in the ocean…tonight I’m making fishfingers & beans and likely falling asleep at 10.
I accept my life has changed now and I love it all and because I came late to motherhood (not through choice) I embrace it all, but occasionally I get this feeling. I don’t even drink anymore as I feel ill afterwards 🙈
From being a young teen I always had that *Friday feeling..and still had it until a few years ago, I just feel too tired now most of the time…
Anyone else?

No one else?

Yeah I know what you mean.

I popped out and bought some steak, chips and dip and bottle or red earlier.

Friday treats for DH and I when the kids are in bed. I find it helpful to make sure I enjoy the little things

I think finding a way to enjoy some of the things that made you happy before being a mum and finding a way to get sons of that in your life now helps. I always feel better after meeting a friend (even if it's at the soft play), getting my hair done or a beauty treatment (or having a pamper at home) or wearing something fantastic (even if it's from a charity shop). It doesn't have to be expensive, but doing things that remind me I'm a person in my own right as well as a mum. Also getting a change of scenery, even if it's just taking my DC to a different play park

@Flamingogirl08 Its true, I usually try to do little things and get sort of excited by it or have something to look forward to, but hate those times when nothing feels different or good

It can be hard spending Friday nights in every week - you don’t mention a DP?
If you’re single, how about inviting a friend round to dinner when DD is in bed and enjoying your evening chatting and relaxing?

Just a couple of thoughts - you also said you’re not interested in anything and drinking’s making you feel ill, and that you’re tired. It might be worth a check-up with a GP to make sure nothing physical’s going on (eg thyroid etc.) or that you’re not depressed.

it gets easier and hope you’re feeling better soon 💐

@Teapotmonkey Thank you 💐 Don’t think I’m depressed as this feeling goes up and down really, I’m usually a planner and like to have things to look forward to and definitely like the cheesy things about being a mum..or used to.
I have a Dh, I thought since having kids, most people stay in every Friday? Maybe it’s just me 😂that makes me feel worse tbh

You can have a mocktail on a beach at sunset and swim in the sea with a 5 yr old. Have chips for tea and bundle her straight into bed when you get home. You’ve got to live for you. Maybe plan something for tomorrow night to get out of the rut?

I get the same feelings, similar age to you. Think there's a feeling of missing parts of our youth.
I try to plans things in advance to have a focus, holidays, theatre etc. always have something to look forward to.

Sounds just like peri menopause to me.

You haven’t said why you can’t go out on a Friday night?

@seennothinglikeit Yes, I seem to
meep thinking back to my early 20’s at the moment, even my teens, can’t stop it, really strange

I’m sure your child would love swimming in the sea. Ok you wouldn’t be drinking and chilling out but I think the key is to still do the things you loved where possible.

@TeaKitten Go where, with who? We have Dd, my friends generally all stay in with little ones too

@Liverpoodle Yes, we do that too when it’s warmer, I love that too but isn’t fully chilled in the same way

Yeh I think you reflect a lot at this age, I get very nostalgic thinking of the past. When you're 65 you'll look back at current years fondly too so worth making the most of them

@DustyLee123 I was wondering that…is this a normal feeling for peri?

Isn't that just life though? Without meaning to dismiss your feelings, there's a vast difference between being a 30 something childfree woman and being a mum to a 5 year old.

I think we ALL feel bored at times as mums. Kids restrict your lifestyle, that's a given.

Yes I'd say so for many, transitioning into next phase of life, many people get the same at the next stage retirement. It's not a bad thing, just adjusting your life to fit with any changes

I don’t no, I don’t no your life 🤷‍♀️ get a babysitter and go out with DH for one. And to wherever you want… like the beach at sunset to swim in the sea like you did pre kid? Cafe, restaurant, cinema, a show, a walk?! The world didn’t stop existing past 6pm when you became a mum! If you’re bored, I’d make a change and get out every so often, it might help ease the boredom on the Fridays you stay in.

God no I am never bored. DD, DDog, DH, DHorse, full time job + gundog training + horse comps + as little as possible cleaning/housework and I am never bored!
I have built all of these things though to prevent boredom as I have anxiety + depression, keeping busy is my coping strategy.

I don't think that it's just a case of transitioning into the next phase. Just like I don't think getting older means you have to accept poorer health. You don't have to put up with a boring life!

I think with children you can't be as spontaneous so you have to put a bit more effort into doing things you enjoy. For me, getting into central London to go to work makes me feel more alive! As does meeting friends for a drink.

Definitely do more things for you, you probably will appreciate it more now whether it be a spa day or night away.
But yes, parenting can be very mundane, I think if you've had a good life until that point of motherhood you find it harder. Those who have had struggles in life prior to having a child may find motherhood completes them...if that makes sense.

Yes. Is there anything you can do that scares you a bit?

Love it!

I don’t have a partner so I’m trapped in most of the time. Watch Netflix in winter curled up with dog and reading a book and a nice cuppa. Or round the fire pit listening to my bats (yes we have a detector!)

In the summer outside listening to the birds, watering, reading

enjoy it

I have a trick for when I’m feeling like this. First I think of something I really don’t want to do, like put the washing away. Then I let myself put it off for later.

Whether I stay in or take the lO’s out somewhere, I feel like I’m winning because I’m not doing the thing I should be doing (I’m pretty contrary in general though).

That and a morning walk in the park. Everyday that I start with a walk is automatically better for some reason (I have a baby and toddler so this might be harder with a school age child).