I'm so worried but feel so helpless

[pinkgiggs]

I can see that a person very close to me is extremely unhappy in their relationship and is being treated awfully by their partner. The partner says they have depression and will often lash out (emotionally) by sending huge long emotionally manipulative texts or other end of the scale completely ignoring for days and then acting like nothing has happened. The partner has also threatened suicide on a number of occasions . I can tell that the person close to me is on eggshells around their partner, I haven't seen them socially for a long, long time and I am also aware that they are being financially drained by the partner. So much has gone on since the start of this relationship I could be here all day but really trying hard not to put anything that could out me/them.

I am so worried but I don't know how to help. They don't want to leave the relationship, I think because of pride, money, scared of being alone. My friend is being completed manipulated by this horrible person. AIBU to just stand by and watch. I could (and have) cry for them, I want them back to the person they were before they met their partner.

I think all you can do is give support and tell your friend that any decisions are theirs to make but you will always be there to support them.
I am so sorry to hear your friend is so sad. 🌹

Keep reaching out and being there. Unfortunately sometimes we can’t do much but watch and wait. Knowing that you are there and supportive is probably a help to the person.

If you can establish a communication channel then very gradually they may open up and you can listen. If they ask for help you can be there.

Sometimes it never changes. That’s difficult to see.

Thank you for replying. I have told them I am here and they do confide in me, weirdly I know when things aren't as bad as I don't hear from them. Then when things are terrible they get in contact. I'm glad they feel they can do that

Is this a relatively new relationship or long-term? Are there children involved? Home bought together? Of course, these things make It much harder for that person to leave, but I would really encourage them to muster the strength to leave because it isn't healthy being in a relationship of that kind. Hopefully they can resolve their situation and be happy.

It's not that new but less than 5 years. Children involved on both sides but none together. My friend has given up ownership of a home to move in with the partner. I have really encouraged them to leave, they know it's the right thing but they want partner to call it off so they are not seen as the bad person.

I think you're doing the right thing by being there for them. unfortunately, until your friend is ready to leave, they probably won't. But it will definitely get to a point where they'll just go, because after all, humans can only take so much. Carry on being a good friend, I'm sure it means more to them than you realise 💐

Thank you for your kind words