We live a ten minute walk from parents with one dc. I’m on maternity leave and dh works a lot, I am alone all day and most evenings. I don’t mind this. We are late thirties and I’m on maternity leave from a very demanding job, if I am honest I am enjoying the free time. Almost daily my retired parents suggest meeting, unless they are busy, then there’s a big fanfare about how they won’t be available on Tuesday etc as they’re at the hairdressers and so on. I feel awful saying this but I couldn’t give a shit they’re at the hairdressers and I am confused as to why they need to update and inform me… they have a holiday booked in July and there was a big conversation from them about it, as if warning me they wouldn’t be around.
Before people suggest they are worried about me not coping alone etc in the days, I cannot stress enough that I do not rely on my parents for any of the baby’s care. This is a mix of me not wanting to pass the care to anyone else and also that I find it quite stressful to ask my parents to help anyway, as they do it in an overbearing way that they think is helping … probably normal family stuff. Anyway, when we meet for coffee or a walk etc they play with dc and that’s nice but they’ve never changed a nappy etc.
Sometimes I would just love a week of peace, no calls about meeting up, no sudden first thing in the morning arrangements being made, etc etc. I struggle massively with guilt complexes and if I say no I end up feeling terrible all day, not enjoying time to myself and thinking I should be grateful they are around and that they won’t be forever. I have explained to them that I am fine when dh is at work and said I’m busy doing x y or z but in the end I run out of excuses as mostly I just want to potter with dc in my own time and just do my own thing!
Am I being a dick about this? Am I being unfair on them? They are perfectly pleasant to be around but I feel like I’m in a fish bowl with them driving past and asking what I’m doing etc. We moved here a few months before dc was born and the only time I’ve felt I could relax is when I know they’re on holiday or out for the day, which they often are. If I explain all this to them they will obviously feel hurt and I do feel mean saying no when I’m just sitting at home. Urgh I don’t know, am I the strange one here? I can be a bit introverted.