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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to get this removed from the invoice

17 replies

Hoppinggreen · 05/05/2023 08:13

My Mum died a few months ago and we have had the final invoice from the funeral Directors, it took me 2 emails, 3 phone calls and a visit in person to actually get the invoice after almost 2 months so I was a bit annoyed to start with.
I noticed a £5 “for viewing the deceased” on the invoice - but we didn’t!
I phoned and politely explained that we didn’t and please could they take it off. They suggested perhaps someone else had viewed her that I didn’t know about.
I replied no and they agreed to remove it but generally “they apply it as standard”
My brother thinks I’m being petty and as it’s only £5 I should just have paid it but AIBU?
Also, when we were asked if we wanted to see Mum we were never told she was pay per view!!!!,

OP posts:
LaLaLouella · 05/05/2023 08:14

The entire funeral industry needs to take a long hard look at itself - charging you for viewing a body! You were right to complain.
I'm sorry for your loss.

Original poster
Hoppinggreen · 05/05/2023 08:38

Thank you.
To be fair IF we had been aware of the charge and IF we had actually viewed her I wouldn’t have a problem with it.
Mind you, as DH pointed out it would be a bit hard for them to say “would you like to visit your Mum - it will cost a fiver?”

OP posts:
MucozadeOnLucozade · 05/05/2023 08:39

That's disgusting to have to pay per view. Am shocked.

AmoebicSquid · 05/05/2023 08:45

That's dreadful 🙁
We just got an email from the Crematorium we used for father in law, asking us to review their performance on TrustPilot!

ZenNudist · 05/05/2023 08:47

Sorry @AmoebicSquid but now I'm imaging a crematorium review. Its not funny when you're grieving but what the hell do you say!?

FirstnameSuesecondnamePerb · 05/05/2023 08:54

Well that seems tone deaf doesn't it?
If the extra cost is actually a fiver, why not just include it in the general cost? Really who wants to read that on an invoice?

NoTouch · 05/05/2023 08:54

It is a service they provide which has a related cost to them so it is fair that they charge for it. The alternative would be they do not provide such detailed itemised invoices unless requested to prevent distress.

Sorry for your loss.

Namechange1345677 · 05/05/2023 08:57

Sorry for your loss.

I would email/Call and insist its removal.

I understand why they charge as they need to move the body and get the viewing room prepared. Bur if that didn't happen insist on its removal.

caringcarer · 05/05/2023 09:08

Just adding it on when no one actually viewed the body is ridiculous and very insensitive. You did right to question this charge.

loislovesstewie · 05/05/2023 09:09

I'm really shocked by this. My DH died last year. I was told by the funeral directors that I could go to see him as often as I wanted. They only asked for a bit of notice to do so. There was no extra charge. It's really insensitive, isn't it, to ask for payment to view the deceased?

Original poster
Hoppinggreen · 05/05/2023 09:12

NoTouch · 05/05/2023 08:54

It is a service they provide which has a related cost to them so it is fair that they charge for it. The alternative would be they do not provide such detailed itemised invoices unless requested to prevent distress.

Sorry for your loss.

It wasn’t a service that they provided to us though.
Also, when they ask if you want to view it should be clear it’s chargeable. I imagine as it’s £5 and the whole thing is upsetting most people will just pay it.
If I hadn’t had to chase the invoice so much I might have as well

OP posts:
FrenchandSaunders · 05/05/2023 09:14

Shocking. FIL died recently and this definitely wasn't a thing at the undertakers.

Why were you chasing to pay .... if they couldn't be arsed I'd have left it.
Or is it to do with finalising the estate etc?

Fansandblankets · 05/05/2023 09:16

That’s awful. There were no such charges on my fIl’s invoice. Quite a few family went. I assume it was in with the cost.

loislovesstewie · 05/05/2023 09:19

BTW, I have always thought that we should each of us, say exactly what sort of funeral we want. When a person dies the ones dealing with the funeral are often not thinking straight, unable to make quick decisions on what sort of coffin etc are wanted. I've told my kids to arrange a direct cremation and not spend more than is necessary. I'm only saying this because you were shocked OP at a viewing fee, lots are shocked by how other costs add up. We tend to say yes so we don't appear mean, but we should ask about costs, just as we would if we bought any other service.
Hope you don't mind me saying this, because I agree with you.

Original poster
Hoppinggreen · 05/05/2023 09:22

FrenchandSaunders · 05/05/2023 09:14

Shocking. FIL died recently and this definitely wasn't a thing at the undertakers.

Why were you chasing to pay .... if they couldn't be arsed I'd have left it.
Or is it to do with finalising the estate etc?

Yes,I needed an exact amount so I could pay it and then distribute the remainder.
One of the other beneficiaries was nagging me for their money
Also I just wanted some closure and I thought it might help

OP posts:
ginghamstarfish · 05/05/2023 09:29

Disgraceful. I imagine they hope to get away with crap like this in addition to their astronomical costs, as they assume people won't question it.

Rudicoolcat · 05/05/2023 09:38

loislovesstewie · 05/05/2023 09:09

I'm really shocked by this. My DH died last year. I was told by the funeral directors that I could go to see him as often as I wanted. They only asked for a bit of notice to do so. There was no extra charge. It's really insensitive, isn't it, to ask for payment to view the deceased?

Me too. The undertakers that handled the funeral of my late husband were wonderful and only asked for a bit of notice too so everything was ready for us, if I or anyone else wanted to be with him before the funeral. I also wasn't asked for a online review but they did get a hand written letter of appreciation for all they did for me during that difficult time. So sorry for your loss OP. 💐

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