To be sad about this?

[NurseryNurse10]

Nannied for a little girl for 4 years, wraparound care. We had a lovely relationship. She did however have a difficult parent so things like not paying me on time, mucking me about with the schedule etc. Coronavirus meant the job ended in a natural way. I tried staying in touch with the child via cards in the post etc. Fizzled out after a while.
Today I saw her walking into her new secondary school. (I was walking to a nursery I was doing work at that was nearby). She glanced at me then quickly walked faster. Just made me feel really sad as it's like all that time and care was all for nothing. Aibu to say that I feel disillusioned working with kids at times and to be a bit upset?

Aww that must have been hard for you! Sadly my son is the same.. he had an amazing relationship with his nanny then but now is embarrassed if he sees her in the street 😬 he practically hides / runs or both! 11+ and everything just becomes uncool.

I was going to say it'll be embarrassment, it won't be anything personal I'm sure, although I'm sure it hurt.

Not to be horrible but in the grand scheme of life, you likely haven’t had as profound an impact on her as she has had on you. Kids generally don’t stop to chat to adults. To be frank, she’s probably forgotten about the good times with you. Also if she’s just started secondary school, her parents might have given her a talk on stranger danger. You’re not a complete stranger but ultimately they/her aren’t expecting to see/speak to you, so she may have been taught to keep walking.

I can understand you being a bit sad but at secondary school age, they'd ignore their own parents in front of school friends so I wouldn't take it personally.

Aw, I understand OP. It’s okay to feel sad. But also, it’s not personal. I’m a Primary teacher and 3/4 of the kids I’ve taught hide when they see me in the street! They’re just embarrassed because they don’t know what to say or how to be around you, their social skills just aren’t there yet and so they hide.

I remember being a teen myself and dodging my absolutely lovely nursery school teacher when I spotted her in the supermarket, for no good reason whatsoever. If I saw her now I’d tap her on the shoulder, introduce myself and have a good natter!

Honestly, don't take it personally. I work with kids that are like octopuses all hands and legs with cuddles, wanting attention ,great bond and relationships etc , even the older ones. 99% of them get really shy / awkward and run the other way if they see me "in the wild". The ones that left for secondary might give me a nod if we were really really close.

Don’t be sad! Unlike @Deathmetal I think it’s likely you did have an impact on her and a very positive one.

We can’t know but she may well have avoided you because she’s just started secondary and you were her nanny! I mean who has a nanny? Babies and little toffs! Not her! The shame!

Alternatively she may have felt abashed because she didn’t keep in touch.

I agree you may get the tap on the shoulder one day far in the future when she’s a proper adult. Even if not, it wasn’t all for nothing. 💐

In the past I've bumped into people who looked after me as a child. They recognised me. I didn't recognise them. Now I'm older I would love to speak to them about what I was like as a child.

Maybe when she grows older things will be different.