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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I know it’s been done before … but why do some posters have to reply when they don’t know the answer?

88 replies

Rosesandbee · 04/05/2023 19:44

A few weeks ago I had a fairly niche question relating to my line of work, clearly indicated in the post title. I had several replies loftily informing me I could not do what I was planning to do from posters who did not work in my job. Other posters were clearly correcting them and providing links showing this. But they were not perturbed by this and continued telling me and others how right they were and how wrong we were.

And you see it on threads relating to other countries - posters who live there will say ‘nope that’s not quite right’ and still they insist they are. Or benefits, or housing, or just about anything!

Do they just feel the need to say something, anything? Like annoying kids who raise their hands when they don’t know the answer just because they like hearing a voice? Or do they genuinely believe their knowledge encompasses everyone else’s?

OP posts:
CherryCokeFanatic · 04/05/2023 20:48

I’m not sure tbh but didn’t want to read and run

Iwantmyoldnameback · 04/05/2023 20:49

Dont forget the stealth boasters. Q What's the food like in Economy? A We only fly upper.

meditated · 04/05/2023 20:50

The ones that annoy me the most are 'I don't understand what you're asking....'

And especially those that will say something like 'your spelling/ grammar/ punctuation/ lack of paragraphs makes it ineligible...'

pussycatinfluffyslippers · 04/05/2023 20:50

I don't know, but I didn't want to read and run, OP.

electricmoccasins · 04/05/2023 20:51

So many posters experts on schools because they went to one as a child.

NotDavidTennant · 04/05/2023 20:56

Ego.

CremeEggThief · 04/05/2023 21:07

YANBU. Drives me mad!

AmenAmin · 30/06/2023 07:45

Those kids you remember from school grew up. They didn’t disappear

AussiUnHomme · 30/06/2023 08:00

I believe it's called the Dunning Kruger effect. I'm not an expert but understand that people with a little knowledge (having heard a snippet of something in a pub or seen a documentary or similar) will spout their views with the confidence of an expert.

The expert, meanwhile, knows their limitations so are a little less likely to comment, as they are more aware of what they don't know.

Terryer · 30/06/2023 08:03

I've had this twice.

One with my MILs pension- a couple of posters just kept on and on saying she wasn't entitled to her late husbands pension and would have to pay it all back. She was totally entitled to it.

The other was about degree funding. Totally wrong.

The sad thing was that both the posters insisted they were experts in the particular field. It's why I never believe anyone who weaponises their job to score points on here.

FuckOffTom · 30/06/2023 08:08

I know this is an old-ish thread but YANBU OP.
Ive been on several threads where posters have stated their opinion as an outright fact and,
even when confronted with actual evidence that they are wrong, they still continue.
They then get asked for evidence to back up their claims and say things like “why should I?” Or “there’s too much to type out”

It is infuriating and people who do this annoy the shit out of me.
Like, have an opinion - that’s cool - but say it’s your opinion… don’t act like you’re some superior being whose opinions are always right. It’s beyond arrogant!

FuckOffTom · 30/06/2023 08:10

Terryer · 30/06/2023 08:03

I've had this twice.

One with my MILs pension- a couple of posters just kept on and on saying she wasn't entitled to her late husbands pension and would have to pay it all back. She was totally entitled to it.

The other was about degree funding. Totally wrong.

The sad thing was that both the posters insisted they were experts in the particular field. It's why I never believe anyone who weaponises their job to score points on here.

I’m on one thread atm where one poster keeps insisting she is a clinician even though it is blindingly obvious that she isn’t. She had never heard of the yellow card reporting scheme, for example. And her opinions completely contradict current advice given by HCP.

PickledPurplePickle · 30/06/2023 08:10

This drives me mad, especially when people wade in with incorrect advice on things like tax and legal issues

Terryer · 30/06/2023 08:11

FuckOffTom · 30/06/2023 08:10

I’m on one thread atm where one poster keeps insisting she is a clinician even though it is blindingly obvious that she isn’t. She had never heard of the yellow card reporting scheme, for example. And her opinions completely contradict current advice given by HCP.

Show quote history

It's so obvious.

Also there seems to be an amazing amount of university admissions people.

Terryer · 30/06/2023 08:13

PickledPurplePickle · 30/06/2023 08:10

This drives me mad, especially when people wade in with incorrect advice on things like tax and legal issues

Yes - see my post. It's actually quite damaging- I was really worried about my MIL. Even after posting that I'd spoken directly to the dwp and posted their advice, this poster kept insisting it must be wrong

Fightyouforthatpie · 30/06/2023 08:14

Is it potatoes?

Caradonna · 30/06/2023 08:14

Also a myriad coming on to repeat what's been said 50 times.

happyfoot · 30/06/2023 08:18

It was the same during Covid- people suddenly became experts in virology despite having no more credentials than looking at a few facebook posts. I think its just plain old arrogance. Its very true that a little knowledge is a dangerous thing. I've posted about stuff before in my job and people have argued with me that its wrong despite me doing that thing literally daily when theyve never worked in that area before. I think the best thing to do is completely ignore. There is no point arguing with someone who clearly doesnt know what they are talking about, its a complete waste of time. Dont waste precious energy on people like that, just internally chuckle at their stupidity and only respond to the posters who make sense.

Frogmila · 30/06/2023 08:19

If they're getting the answers wrong then either they have misunderstood the question, are wrongly informed or think that their tangential info might be useful. Some say 'I don't know but good luck' or whatever to show support, boost the thread or place mark. Some people just like to offer an opinion. As a PP says, it's a discussion board not an advisory service so you have to accept an element of this.

Terryer · 30/06/2023 08:20

If you ignore them...

"I see you've ignored my post OP"
"Have you done the (mad) thing I suggested??"
"Well clearly you only want posters to agree with you"

Etc etc

Canyousewcushions · 30/06/2023 08:22

To be fair, my MIL does this a lot n really life, it's not necessarily that they are just doing it in here.

She seemingly knows far more about my profession, which entailed 5 years of uni plus professional qualifications after, than I ever will. Actively moves the conversation towards my specialism and then spouts utter bollocks while I smile and nod.

I think online forums probably attract deluded nutters who think they know more than they do and just LOVE imposing their wisdom on unsuspecting others.

giraffetrousers · 30/06/2023 08:24

Echoing what PP have said- they just like to express their opinions on stuff, and they dont care if theyre wrong because they like the sound of their own voice.

That said, I am a bit baffled when people ask medical or legal questions on here, like, I understand asking for advice about where to go to get the answers but if I had a serious medical/legal question there is no way I'd come to a forum like this for the answer. It could be very dangerous to take some random online stranger's advice about something that only a qualified professional should answer. Even if someone claims to be a doctor/lawyer, you have no idea if thats even true or what their motives are.

HappiestSleeping · 30/06/2023 08:25

2023forme · 04/05/2023 19:46

@Rosesandbee - sorry, but I don’t know the answer to that 🤣🤣🤣

This 👆 🤣

WhenIWasAFieldMyself · 30/06/2023 08:25

Terryer · 30/06/2023 08:11

It's so obvious.

Also there seems to be an amazing amount of university admissions people.

Show quote history

There's certainly one particular poster who knows everything there is to know about every single course at every single university in the UK and in Europe in terms of eligibility. Plus of course what the graduates go on to do and who they marry.

I have intimate knowledge of one of the uni systems in one of the countries she likes to go on about and guess what? A 3 day mini break in the relevant city, does not an expert make 🤣

PonyPatter44 · 30/06/2023 08:29

I think its pathological. My exH used to HATE being involved in conversations that weren't all about him, and would steer any and all conversations back to himself, his hobbies, his interests....So there would be five of us sitting around the table chatting about gardening, for example, and he'd make some silly-ass comment about heavy metal music, to bring the chat round to something HE wanted to talk about. He did this because he felt invisible and if he wasn't being the centre of attention, he might just pop into non-existence.

It's the same with the people who post non-replies. They feel that every thread on Mumsnet needs to be all about them, and their opinion matters.