We have a child together so we went through courts to get court ordered contact in place. I have a very young child who I don’t believe is safe to be left alone with his dad but unfortunately the court did not take my concerns seriously and ex has every other weekend. I do handovers with his family/ friends (some of them I’ve never even met before and sometimes ex is sitting in car watching) as I have an order in place to prevent ex from coming near me. Unfortunately I rarely have anyone I know to help with handovers and I’ve been treated very badly by exes family/ some of his friends in the past and the whole situation is really triggering for me. I shake very badly during handovers, my hands and even my knees and sometimes I actually can’t drive away until I’ve calmed down as my legs are shaking too much to even drive. I can hardly even speak either my voice trembles and My stomach is in knots . I try to be as normal as I can be for my child’s sake but I just can’t seem to help the way my body reacts when I’m in close proximity to my ex and having contact with his friends/ family after all that they have done to me. I’m the same way even opening a text from exes family or a letter from his solicitor but totally fine rest of time. Thankfully we keep the handovers brief and only talk about important child centred things but that doesn’t seem to make me feel better. It‘s just so awful being forced to leave my child with someone who I know isn’t safe for them to be around and that is making thing worse. Has anyone experienced anything similar and been able to overcome it?