to not buy my bridesmaids a gift?

[thebirthdaygirl]

Just having a minor wobble that I haven’t bought my
bridesmaids any favours.

It’s all going well. My destination wedding this weekend. 3 bridesmaids are here already.

Just for background: they paid for their flights and I have provided accommodation for them and all of their partners, sorted airport transfers and have been feeding them all. They’ve made a little holiday out of it and are happy to be here. I have paid for the dress, make up and hair. I have made no stipulations about shoes or jewellery.

When I was at the planning stage- I had a look the favours on Etsy and quickly discounted them. My bridesmaids have all different tastes in jewellery and I could see only one of them wearing something of that style.

With a thank you card, I left a big bottle of the local booze with a ribbon in their rooms to enjoy on the terrace on the evenings and bought a nice little dressing gown for getting ready in on the ’big day’, but am now feeling ashamed that I haven’t bought them a little something or token of the day as it appears this is the norm.

Is this ok or should I try and get them something before Saturday?

You have done more than enough already!

First response nailed it.

Congrats, have a fab day and don't worry about this!

I think so a small keepsake would be the norm at least. It sounds like they have paid a fair bit re flights etc and possibly taken time off work etc to share your day.

The thank you card and the booze was the present

You have got them something, you got them a card and a nice bottle to enjoy! I’d love that!

I think you've done more than enough. Anything more is just a waste of money. I got some gifts for being a bridesmaid this year but I've got nothing to do with them they're just sitting in the wardrobe.

I think that sounds lovely OP

I wrote both my bridesmaids a personal letter each which I gave to them on the day, thanking them and explaining why I valued their friendship so much. They both cried so I’m guessing it ticked the right boxes! Maybe something like that if you’re still thinking you want to add something?

I think this is why I didn’t prioritise it

I have been a bridesmaid twice (to one of my bridesmaids) and have received beautiful goody bags with a little something. I was obviously very gracious and wore on the day and used, but not my taste, not my style and haven’t been used. I can see all of the same stuff on Etsy. The thought was so kind and it was appreciated but now I can see that it would have costed at least £50 per bridesmaid.

I’d rather use that £150 elsewhere!

I didn’t, then got panicked by Mumsnet and some wedding forums and bought said bridesmaid tat… which has never been seen again.

You’ve done more than enough and this is just what your brain is fixing on to control your nerves.

Congratulations!

I think I'd personally prefer to be given nothing then a bottle of bubbles.
Why would you need to buy presents for bridemaids anyway. Thanks them with heartfelt words instead

When you get the pics back send them a few with a heartfelt thanks - that's what I would prefer tbh

I once got a friendship bracelet (yup one of the stringy tatty ones) and a lovely thankyou letter.

I see it as a lovely token of friendship, I wasn't expected to wear it and it's still a keepsake with the letter.

Congratulations on your wedding!🍸🍹💐
Have a wonderful time.It goes so fast so enjoy every minute.
you've paid out a lot for your bridesmaids,the accommodation,hair,make up,dress,alcohol and dressing gowns,they don't need goody bags too!they are there to see you get married and to celebrate with you.
if you are still concerned write a card for them on your return home thanking them and they will be more than happy.
relax and enjoy yourself .🌈

I'm getting mine really nice thank you cards and a hair accessory to wear on the day - which I'd be buying anyway. It's more about the cards for me.

The thank you card and the booze was the present

I agree, and you already did a lot. I also got booze and each of my bridesmaids got a smartshow 3d video with photos from our hen party, and everyone was pleased.