To keep child off school - WWYD?

[Dilemmatimeagain]

9 year old DS came home from school with red and blue marking around his eye from where another 9 year old punched him yesterday.

I had an email from the class teacher that she spoke to both children.

Problem is, thats all they ever do, then it happens again. This is the 4th time DS has been punched by the same child this school year, and the second time hes been marked. When I ask what they are doing to prevent it, what procedures are in place or for antibullying policy, I am ignored.

DS was worried and did not sleep well last night so he stayed off school today.
I emailed the teacher this morning and told her that DS was too worried to go to school and is at home doing workbooks. I told them DS needs to be reassured that school is safe and I can't tell him that because its clearly not safe and that I dont think they are taking this seriously enough.

So if your DC were in this situation would ypu keep them off until you got an appropriate solution from the school? Or send DC in anyway?

I have had no response yet today (other than to say they accidentally deleted my mail and can I re send it) so have a dilemma on what to do tomorrow if they dont respond.

Its all but irrelevant if the child is 10 or not. If a crime is alleged the police investigate. They don't just hang up if the suspect is 9. They just can't arrest or charging under 10. Highly unlikely a 10 yr old would be prosecuted anyway for this but whatever age it's still a police matter.

As you have already spoken to the head, I would now be speaking with the governors and preferably the head teacher's boss (is it an academy? Sonu know who is above the head?) This cannot continue. My child has never been punched causing brushing at school and he's in the last yr of primary. 4 times is not acceptable.

I agree. Tell him to smack the bully back: it’ll soon stop.

Ask for a copy of both the anti bullying policy and the child on child abuse policy. Sometimes it's called peer on peer abuse policy.

Then, go through the policy line by line, checking against every email you've sent them, and construct a document to show all the instances when they have not followed their own policies.

Send the document to school by email with a Read Receipt setting on it. Then organise a face to face meeting with school and go through it with them.

Ask them how they are going to safeguard your child.

Take someone with you who can take notes.

After the meeting, write to them and confirm all the points raised in the meeting, and every action agreed.

Keep him off and explain its now an anxiety issue aswell as being assaulted. Ask for meeting with head teacher, not class teacher. Safeguarding needs to be paramount, you'll also want to know what their anti bullying policy is and how they centrally record these incidents. Ask to see the paperwork relating to your child's incidents (other name blanked out obv). Get angry this is unacceptable.

What are the circumstances OP? Does the other child have issues that cause them to loose control and lash out? Was it rough play? Was it an accident? Did your child provoke?
I wouldn’t keep them off but I would ask to see the head teacher.
It’s very difficult for school staff. Even with a 1:1 it’s impossible to prevent this sort of thing - an unpredictable child can suddenly lash out despite being stood right next to an adult.
Schools are very much discouraged from suspending or permanently excluding children, especially if they have underlying problems including past traumatic events or unstable home lives.
Often the children are very troubled. Of course that’s no consolation to you or your son OP, but it’s great that your child has a support parent at home and you are looking out for him.

Did they offer a meeting today@Dilemmatimeagain ? Hope y our ds is feeling better.

I'm sorry but I too agree with the smack him back posts.

What do you want them to do?

The school should follow the behaviour policy. That may mean that the child and parents are spoken to and the child is given a consequence.

As for preventing it. What led up to it? Why did it happen? In order to prevent it the school need to know this.

They cannot exclude a child permanently without a significant number of serious incidents. Keeping your child at home rather than requesting a meeting is however ridiculous.

NurseCranesRolodex
Are all your posts hysterical? I have read two today that seem very extreme and unhelpful in the real world. Should the OP ring 999 as well?

Summerhouse
It is highly unlikely that the police would be interested in interviewing a playground incident with 10 year old.

This

its horrendous your child is going through this- can you imagine going into a work place and being hurt- on purpose- more than once by a co worker?
I don’t agree with keeping kids off school but for this (4 times- by the same child) I would, personally. He is probably (and rightly so) on edge/suffering from anxiety. It will affect his learning, his relationships- everything that he is doing. It needs to be solved- straight away. The school needs to do something better than what they are.

If the headteacher can’t/ won’t do anything, bring it to the Board of Governors, then the LEA ( straight away)

I hope you get it sorted. What an awful situation to be in.

Im sure the offending child is possibly/ probably known to the school and may have some problems which is awful for them, but you can’t let that pass on to your child and you are your child’s advocate.

If you've already spoken to the class teacher and the head and nothing at all has been done, then I'd consider writing to the board of governors.

As it's the 4th time and the school were aware of the issue but have failed to prevent injury again, I'd contact a personal injury lawyer.

After reading your update and the account of your first meeting, I’d be aiming to change schools. Their attitude was totally unacceptable.