AIBU that I think my boyfriend has been going through my phone?

11 replies

extensionswan001 · 03/05/2023 20:24

Good evening!

Myself, my Dad, my Sister, Auntie and Nephew are in a WhatsApp group chat. My Dad has received a paper invite through mail and asked if we are going to a family friend’s event.

My sister and Nephew said they got an invite via Facebook Group invite (not Facebook event invite) and they both told me they had seen my name with ‘previewing’ underneath.

I have not seen this invite and cannot find it.

My sister has checked the group and it looks like I am no longer there?

I feel like my boyfriend has removed this as he is the only person who has access to my passwords and phone. Otherwise it can only be the friend who created the invite? Which I don’t believe. Or could my family think they seen my name?

How can I approach my boyfriend? I don’t know what to do. I’m not even sure what ‘previewing’ in a FB group is.

Cheers 😊

OP posts:

Nimo12 · 03/05/2023 20:27

Sounds like he has. Id change my passwords and wait and see if he mentions it. He doesn't need access to these or to your phone.

Nimo12 · 03/05/2023 20:30

From Google: What does previewing mean on Facebook groups?
You'll be able to preview the group and decide if you want to join. While you're in preview mode: You won't be able to post or comment on other people's posts in the group. You won't be able to invite others to the group. You will be able to react to posts in the group. The person who created the group will be able to see if you decline the invitation.

Stressyfab · 03/05/2023 20:37

Definitely change your passwords and even if he doesn’t mention it, see if his attitude or behaviour changes, it may give you a gut feeling if it does.

Soontobe60 · 03/05/2023 20:38

Ask the person who created the group if your invitation has been declined.

Begsthequestion · 03/05/2023 20:40

How and why does he know your passwords?

Genuine question.

MsWhitworth · 03/05/2023 20:40

I think the bigger question is why do you think he’s going through your phone?

You obviously think the worst of him. Why is that? Is he controlling?

MrsTerryPratchett · 03/05/2023 20:40

Don't give your passwords to anyone. Why would you?

TheChosenTwo · 03/05/2023 20:44

Dh and I know each others phone passwords. Didn’t think that was very unusual!
I don’t look at his phone or vice versa, we’ve used each others for various reasons but I can’t say I’m the least bit interested in anything on his.
we both leave them lying around the house in different rooms constantly, it’s just nothing I’ve ever thought about guarding.
Does your DP have trust issues that are making you think he’s been looking at your messages? I guess the other explanation is that the message sender withdrew your invitation? No idea what the preview thing is, sorry, not heard of it before.

MrsTerryPratchett · 03/05/2023 20:45

OP has a boyfriend not a DH. It is different.

OliveWah · 03/05/2023 21:22

When you change your password, make sure you ask the app to log out of anywhere you're currently logged in, in case he has logged in elsewhere.

NeverDropYourMooncup · 03/05/2023 21:24

I'd change my passwords, ask for the invite to be sent again, accept it and then not mention it to him.

His reaction to it when you inform him you're going should be interesting.

Flip