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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Anyone drink 4-5 bottles of wine per week and how is your health ?

165 replies

fartoobig · 03/05/2023 14:51

Mid forties. Just wondering g if it impacts you? I enjoy wine as it brings me back to when I was really happy.
I am Going through immense stress and sadness now.
No hangovers but feel mildly better on days where I haven't had wine the night before .

OP posts:
itsserendipity · 04/05/2023 22:56

Well done @fartoobig. Really proud of you. You got this!

CannotDoThisAnymore · 04/05/2023 23:08

Well done op. You are an inspiration 🙌

AnnieSnap · 04/05/2023 23:24

fartoobig · 04/05/2023 22:30

Thanks so much ...
Went all out and had a Diet Coke tonight! Looking forward to unbroken sleep.
I really appreciate the replies ❤️

Sounds like you’re doing great 🙂

tallbirduk · 05/05/2023 07:50

Rosscameasdoody · 04/05/2023 21:16

She may well be sober a few hours during the day, but it won’t be that long when you consider that the average bottle of wine contains ten units of alcohol - some contain up to fourteen. It takes the body about an hour to metabolise one unit of alcohol, so assuming the drinking is taking place in the evening, and a full bottle is consumed, the alcohol probably won’t be fully metabolised until mid morning, so if she drives, she’ll likely still be under the influence if leaving early for work. And the whole process starts again in the evening. But the reason she doesn’t have hangovers is because it’s a huge amount of alcohol and she’s built up a tolerance.

That’s incorrect. A standard bottle of wine is 12% - that’s 12 units per litre, so a 75cl bottle has 9 units in. The current drink drive limit works out to be around 3 units for women so unless she’s still up at 3am she will be fine.

Not saying it’s all ok, but a single bottle would never have 14 units in unless it was 19% or so.

cadink · 05/05/2023 08:03

That's loads of alcohol OP, it sounds like you're drinking to improve your mood. Therapy would be a better long term choice, as well as positive action to reduce stress.

LadyWhistledownAteMyHamster · 05/05/2023 10:08

Just wanted to say well done for taking the first steps and recognising that it is time to stop. It sounds like you are making really positive changes. My issues were a bit different to yours in that I could easily sit within 14 units a week if I was at home with the other half, but when out with friends we would binge drink ridiculous amounts. Post lockdown our nights out became more and more regular, and I was finding worse and worse hangovers, and far longer recovery times. Couple that with the effects of the peri menopause and I woke up one morning recognising that this was no longer a path I wanted to follow, not to mention that at approaching 50 it's very undignified to be trollied! There was no 'rock bottom' for me, but I cut down massively last year and this year have decided to try to go completely alcohol free.

I'm not going to lie, at times it feels hard (125 days today) but slowly the FOMO is turning into utter JOMO. I'm sleeping better, my menopause symptoms are decreasing, my mental health has improved, I am exercising more and 'looking after' myself better, eating more healthy foods, looking after my skin care routine etc. As a result my skin has never looked better, my face is no longer puffy, I'm more creative, I'm discovering new hobbies and spending more quality time with my teenage DCs. I haven't lost any weight yet (c. 4 stone overweight) but I'm hoping over time that this too will start to change with the positive changes that are happening.

It's taken some adjusting (mainly other people's expectations of what I should be doing ie carrying on as they have done) but i'm starting to see alcohol for what it really is, and hoping that I'm reversing any damage done by the 'fun nights out'. Realistically it's only the first one or two glasses that give you the relaxed fun feeling and then we spend the rest of the evening trying to chase that feeling and not achieving it!

I've found there are lots of positive sober movement socials out there - try following sassysobermum on instagram, she is great. I also downloaded the Try Dry app on my phone - it has tracking so you can mark when you had an alcohol free day, I find adding my little yellow teacups every day to be very motivational. You can also set yourself challenges and get badges when you do something for the first time without a drink eg going dancing or a wedding. I also read 'The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober' which is a great read.

At times I do have a wobble, I'm 50 later this year and still can't imagine toasting the big day without a glass of fizz, but i think I'm slowly realising that moderation isn't for me, so hopefully by then I will have talked myself out of it!

All I can say is take it one day at a time, journalling your feelings really helps and keep reading the quit lit. Good luck and be kind to yourself x

Roxy69 · 05/05/2023 10:37

I really hope you take heart from these posts which in the main, have been so heartfelt by people who only want the best for you. Please don't think of alcohol as 'a friend' it really isn't. You do have a lot on but you can move onto a better place. I would urge you to get some counselling, it will be a useful way to help you come to terms with what you want for your life and your children's lives and put the past away. Good luck. 💐

fartoobig · 05/05/2023 13:01

Thanks.
I really do appreciate the time that people take to offer kindness and support .
I have had tonnes of counselling but never addressed the alcohol.
I have it in my head that it is self harm essentially, a poison , not my friend so I've decided to go with the advice here and decide not to have alcohol today. Just today for the moment.
It's Friday. It's take away , movie and wine night for me .
So I'll just drop the wine and enjoy some other drinks for the evening.
One day at a time coupled with some quit
Lit sounds good.
Again I really am
Grateful .thanks

OP posts:
WillWorkForShoes · 05/05/2023 13:18

Thank you so much for posting OP. This is a very sobering (pun intended!) thread. And thank you everyone for all the non-judgy, kind, informative responses.

I am similar to you, OP, I can easily drink 4 or 5 bottles in a week. I drink because I like being ‘merry’. I like the buzz.

I always knew it was too much, and that my ‘confident, merry self’ was a delusion I was allowing myself to believe. I’m 46. Being the middle-aged drunk lady is not a good look.

This thread has made me finally accept what I already knew. Alcohol is not my friend. It impacts negatively on my life. I will make changes.

Sincere thanks everyone. OP, you can do it. x

fartoobig · 05/05/2023 14:12

I wish you will also @WillWorkForShoes .
Last night and the night before I didn't think of it too much because I was busy and tired .
I expect that it really has become a boredom thing or at least a..., its8pm, time for wine . Sit in my same seat , turn on the tv 📺 r whatever and off I usually go.
Last night I was out at a meeting and the night before my kids were full on so I just climbed into bed for facial oil and sleep .

Regardless of whether it's an addiction or not , it's poison and empty calories that increase my weight and make me old and
Puffy looking on the outside , not to mind what's goi in on in the inside ....

OP posts:
Optionshighlights · 09/05/2023 18:20

Good luck @fartoobig
This time last year I was drinking more than you are now…it’s embarrassing to admit that.
I was fed up of being bloated and anxious, so I decided to quit once and for all. I will be 12 months sober by the end of the week and I can’t praise sobriety enough. The habit has gone, I rarely think about wine anymore and am fit, healthy, sleeping well, smashing it at work and look better than ever. I just can’t let myself go back ever.
PM me if you’d like to know a couple of books and support groups that have helped me through 🙂💐

NeedToChangeName · 04/01/2024 21:55

How are you now @fartoobig ?

biscuitnut · 04/01/2024 22:20

If you are looking for validation that drinking that much alcohol is fine then you are not going get it. It’s isn’t and you know that hence your post. Health wise it’s a bit of a lottery. We all know people who smoke, drink and eat the wrong things and seem to be fine. Most heavy drinkers end up paying for it though and it’s so easy to slip into addiction which in itself is a living hell. Can you go without alcohol? Would it bother you to have a couple of weeks off drinking? Be honest with yourself.

Beezknees · 04/01/2024 22:23

biscuitnut · 04/01/2024 22:20

If you are looking for validation that drinking that much alcohol is fine then you are not going get it. It’s isn’t and you know that hence your post. Health wise it’s a bit of a lottery. We all know people who smoke, drink and eat the wrong things and seem to be fine. Most heavy drinkers end up paying for it though and it’s so easy to slip into addiction which in itself is a living hell. Can you go without alcohol? Would it bother you to have a couple of weeks off drinking? Be honest with yourself.

RTFT, it's from last May.

Battybaa · 04/01/2024 23:34

Read Shuggie Bain. There is no glamour or sophistication in a glass of wine. This book is the reality of alcohol abuse (and poverty) and how alcohol can destroy a person.

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