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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To not like my new job after 3 days?

30 replies

RetirementImReadyForYou · 03/05/2023 08:12

So for the purpose of voting:

Reasonable - fair enough, some jobs aren't for everyone.
Unreasonable - it's been 3 days, take a breather.

I started a new job last week, office job which I've always done but completely new sector. The team are nice enough but I'm really unsettled and worrying I made a mistake leaving my old job.

On my first day, I had a meeting with my manager and then was left to 'familiarise' myself with the system for the remainder of the day. Nobody told me when I could take lunch or where, seeing as the area is new to me. Nobody told me what time I would finish and when I eventually asked, I was met with baffled faces. Since then I've just sort of done my own thing and been reading correspondence etc to get used to their ways of working, attending a few meetings and twiddling my thumbs.

Am I speaking too soon or does this sound a shambles? They keep talking about when I take over from my predecessor but I honestly don't know how I'll do that when I'm not being taught anything!

OP posts:

thecatsthecats · 03/05/2023 08:18

I can definitely sympathise because I started a new job yesterday. I do have a few training sessions booked over the next few weeks, but yesterday was just as you described!

My new manager did apologise at the end of the day, because he's had a home emergency that's consumed a lot of his time recently.

I'm lucky that this is a temporary job (six months), so I don't really care about making friends, but if yours is permanent, remember that it's just as much probation for them as for you.

UndercoverCop · 03/05/2023 08:21

I wouldn't expect to have to tell an adult where/when to go to lunch. Surely if you have nothing booked in you would say I'm just off for lunch be back in half an hour..

I would expect you'll have some training booked in over the next few weeks, can you be proactive and ask to shadow a colleague doing the same role?

2chocolateoranges · 03/05/2023 08:24

3 days is nothing.

I'd always give a new job 3 months at least. You are finding your feet, fitting in,finding new procedures. Employers are getting used to having a new member of staff.

LittleRedYarny · 03/05/2023 08:24

This is normal nerves, it takes 6 months to settle in a new job. If after 6-9 months things are right, then you can start to worry. :)

I changed sectors 3 years ago and experienced the same. Take it easy on yourself, it’s a big change with lots to learn.

If at the end of the moth you still feel super wobbly you might find a couple sessions with a career coach helps, certainly did for me. Reminded me why I made the move.

Good luck!

AmazonGrime · 03/05/2023 08:27

I’m having this a bit at the moment. I can relate to the feeling, but the answer o don’t know!

DDivaStar · 03/05/2023 08:28

Surely your contract states hours. I would have thought no problem asking if there is a preferred time for lunch, but if not I guess its up to you.

Are you shadowing the person you're taking over from ? If you're concerned you enter be up to speed you need to have a chat with your manager.

JackRosenberg · 03/05/2023 08:30

I would think its a good sign they aren't micro managing your lunch hour and clocking off times. For the rest, I would give it a bit of time but be proactive in asking for tasks to help out with, even if they are menial ones for now. Onboarding new staff often means someone's workload doubling so it doesn't always happen all at once.

Sissynova · 03/05/2023 08:33

Nobody told me what time I would finish and when I eventually asked, I was met with baffled faces.

Surely you know how long you’re supposed to be working though? I would also be baffled is someone was asking when they would finish!

PurpleBananaSmoothie · 03/05/2023 08:35

My last job I hated it 3 days in. I did end up staying for 6 years. I’d have periods of job hunting in that time but not getting anything. Over that 6 years I would say I never loved my job (I love my current job) but there were times when it was OK and times when it really frustrated me and really got me down. I didn’t have a predecessor as it was a new role but my start sounds very similar to yours. As I settled into my job that worked well for me because I was able to do my own thing and make the programme my own. I would ask for some more tasks or if you can shadow someone.

unfortunateevents · 03/05/2023 08:36

Is your predecessor still there? If they're not actively handing stuff to you then I think it's up to you to take the initiative and just keep bugging them with questions about – what is the company procedure for this? How do you book travel? What happens if someone asks me X or Y? If you have worked in offices before you must be familiar with the general tasks and queries that will come up in any environment.

Moltenpink · 03/05/2023 08:39

Could be a positive that they are quite flexible and letting you do your own thing. Give it time!

Lcb123 · 03/05/2023 08:42

Sounds pretty normal to me. It takes 3 month minimum to get an idea of a job especially new sector so give it time. I’ve always had jobs where it’s very flexible in terms of lunch / finish time

Leftbutcameback · 03/05/2023 08:49

It doesn’t sound ideal for a first day, although I’ve always found I’m twiddling my thumbs to start with. But definitely too soon to judge. Give it a couple of months at least. Good luck!

abasketcase · 03/05/2023 08:57

I'd keep asking questions of the person i'm taking over from. I would ask if I can shadow them for the rest of the week.
I started a new job last week and I was left to my own devices from day 2 but my manager made sure a junior person was around on day 1 for me to ask questions. The person I took over from left a while ago but I couldn't start for a couple of months

Sunshineandflipflops · 03/05/2023 08:59

I can empathise op. A few years ago I left a job I loved but there had been talk of redundancy. Started the new job and was very much left to it from the start, despite it being a new role for me doing something i'd never done before.

It soon became apparent that the job sold to me wasn't what I'd actually be doing and it was more of an admin role (which isn't what I applied for or had experience in).

I left within a week and was lucky enough to go back to my previous job, where I stayed for another 7 or so years!

I knew straight away that it wasn't the right move for me but maybe you could talk to someone first and explain how you are feeling?

TeenLifeMum · 03/05/2023 09:10

In inductions I’ve never really covered lunch or home time because you just take lunch when you want and go home at the end of your work hours. Maybe word it “what hours do you usually work?” So it sounds like you’re finding out about the team.

have they had a new starter recently? If not then they will be finding their feet too.

I’d give it 3-6 months to really get to grips with it before doing anything rash.

broadbeanquiche · 03/05/2023 09:11

I'd ask - is there a set time for lunch? And what time you finish will be in your contract? I wouldn't expect to be offered suggestions of where to go to lunch. You should be able to find somewhere yourself.

loislovesstewie · 03/05/2023 09:28

I think it depends on what sort of job you are doing and the organization employing you. I always worked in the public sector and we had to have cover for answering phones, people available to interview, enough cover so that leaving before the service finished was rare. We worked flexitime so in theory start/finish times were flexible but only when the needs of the service were met. You need to read the contract, ask if there are times you should definitely beat your desk etc. We would also be happy to tell newbies where the best place to buy lunch was etc. Quite often different offices have different cultures so I understand your hesitancy.

loislovesstewie · 03/05/2023 09:29

Beat!! Not sure about autocorrect today!

SwishMyCape · 03/05/2023 09:34

I had a rocky couple of weeks at the start of a new job. Was left pretty unsupported and found it really difficult. It went on to become an excellent job in an excellent team.

With hindsight I can see that my boss was really mourning the loss of a colleague who had left who had been a long term mentor for him. He wasn't fully present. A couple of months in i was flying

It's very very early days for you. Try to stay positive.

Nordicrain · 03/05/2023 09:37

I suppose it depends what you do, but if I hired an employee and they wanted guiding through their entire day (without them asking anyone) I would be seriously reconsidering my hire. Have some autonomy OP, if it's lunchtime ask whoever is next to you where they normally have lunch. Read your contract on when you finish. If you don't know what to do ask you manager for half an hour to go thorugh your work tasks (with you asking proper questions). Don't just sit there wondering all day.

ImSidneyFuckingPrescott · 03/05/2023 09:50

I don't think the op is asking for her manager to hold her hand while she takes lunch but they might have told her where the canteen or kitchen is, if they have one. Mentioned if there's a cafe or takeaway locally. Also if she hasn't been given a schedule or induction plan she might not want to swan off for lunch if there's been a meeting booked in for a certain time she's not aware of yet.

Op, I'd have a meeting with your manager and try and get some idea of what they're expecting of you in your first 3 months, objectives, training, etc then build yourself a plan around this. I would also hang out in the kitchen area if you have one and try and strike up a conversation with a few people around lunch, flexibility, etc for more of the unspoken rules.

Original poster

RetirementImReadyForYou · 03/05/2023 19:51

I don't expect a hand hold but I would have expected someone to tell me where the cafeteria or seating area is located in a 10 floor building.

With regards to the finish time, it's flexible working but given I've only been there a few days I wasn't sure whether I was on it straight away or what time they would expect me in office until to start with - every department varies.

I think there are elements of it I'm not enjoying so I'm actively searching for reasons to dislike it. I just need to hang on and see how I feel in a few months time I think!

OP posts:

Christmascracker0 · 03/05/2023 20:02

I had a similar experience when I started a new job a year ago. I think it’s down to wfh/hybrid working!

Give it a month and see how you go. Nothing wrong with finding a new job if it’s not for you.

thecatsthecats · 03/05/2023 20:43

Yes, quite.

I've run transitions to flexi time in organisations, I know how it works - I still think it's common sense to give a new team member a 5m chat along the lines of, "What are your thoughts on your own flexi schedule? I do x, and I'd like us to overlap on y. The whole team get together Z."

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