Mental health after emotional abuse

[rainbowsandblossoms]

I was in a very toxic relationship for 3 years he never really committed to me yet I adored him he ended it 8 weeks ago which wasn't normal because he has done it over and over. This is the first time he's cut me out in every way. My mental health declined more and more as he chipped away. I now see it was toxic but I'm in a really low place it feels like I start feeling better and then hits me like a ton of bricks I'm so depressed lonely and keep having awful memories which are now adding up to lies and manipulations but at the time I didn't see it I feel so much shame.

Has any one recovered from this type of thing. I think friends and family think I should be ok because they never seen the manipulation and so on. I feel so alone

I'm sorry to hear this. I had something similar, together for 4.5 years about to buy a house together, then I was dumped out of nowhere. He was verbally & emotionally abusive & after weeks of feeling awful I realised he'd been cheating on me the whole time, there were so many weird incidents with different women, some of them very obvious. It felt like my brain couldn't join the dots & make sense of it while we were together, I was in a perpetual state of confusion, after the split I slowly saw things clearly

That was 6 months ago. I'm feeling so much better but it has been slow progress. I've been seeing a counsellor specialising in abuse, try to exercise daily & eat healthily. I've found being kind & understanding with myself, like an older sister would do has helped. I'm starting EDMR for PTSD soon & have found journaling helps

You survived before him & will survive again. It might be hard & you may have some bad days but slowly you will recover. I saw a counsellor as I felt friends & family didn't understand & were bored of me going on about it

You will get there

I was in an abusive relationship for 12 years, once i'd finally managed to walk away, i was in shock about what i'd endured for so long and i didnt have a clue who i was anymore.

Counselling definitely helped me to untangle everything, it was a lifeline!
I also did the freedom programme when it was group face to face classes, as opposed to online which i believe it largely is now.

Its very normal for anyone (i.e friends / family) to not really 'get it', you need someone who is trained in the intricacies of it all, and if possible talking it through with other people who are going, or have been, through it.

You will come through the other side, you really will... but it takes time, understanding and being kind to yourself x

I'm having EMDR for PTSD for previous stuff so next week going to start it for this situation.

6 months ago still feels really raw.

I keep reading up on emotional abuse manipulation gaslighting hoovering discarding and I'm utterly horrified he did all this to me triangulation.

He pitted me as crazy and then has just completed ghosted me 3 years and just treat me like I'm nothing. I feel shattered to tiny pieces.

It's good to hear ur ladies are getting there. I think I feel worse because when I actually started to realise he was lying and manipulating me he's then ran off. But I feel worthless now don't no who I am any more