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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

What to do (work issue)

19 replies

Bristoluser · 02/05/2023 16:13

Hello, I’d just really like some advice. It’s a long story but I’ll try to make it short…I work in mid level/senior role in the public sector.

I care about my job and try to do the best I can. For the past year I have worked on a project with 5 other people (and about 200 other people in related teams) and have had a manager on the project who while well meaning has not understood how to progress things. We’ve therefore completely stalled and have achieved very little and have wasted a huge amount of public money.

The 5 people I work closely with and me have worked really hard together, have given presentations about how to improve things, have done everything we could to make things better.

A couple of weeks ago we were (the 5 of us) having a conversation about our frustrations with our manager. Only I was in the office. All of us got animated including our manager. Unfortunately, someone in the office overheard, misunderstood and thought I was getting too emotional but he didn’t hear the other people or understand the context. It really wasn’t loud or disruptive and was late in the day when everyone else had gone home. Anyway, he complained to a senior manager and I got taken off the project and marked down in my performance mark. All the others tried to defend me and stood up for me but it’s too late.

I don’t desperately want to stay on the project, I just feel penalised for something that I couldn’t defend. My senior manager also went to the other manager and asked for his feedback on me. The manager on the team said I didn’t do a certain thing but didn’t realise the consequences of saying this or say that he also felt that about the other team members (which he clarified with them).

Since then, the first (team) manager has tried to catch up with me, has sent me a thank you card, a cash voucher etc. All very odd. I have definitely been punished (or that’s how it’s been presented).

Feel very deflated. Been penalised for caring about public money. Just feeling low and got at.

OP posts:

Original poster

Bristoluser · 02/05/2023 16:13

It feels like a trial without being able to defend myself

OP posts:

SeasonFinale · 02/05/2023 16:15

Raise a grievance about how the matter has been handled.

Bamboozleme · 02/05/2023 16:17

Anyway, he complained to a senior manager and I got taken off the project and marked down in my performance mark

This is very odd. Are you being entirely
honest?

Mycathatesmecuddling · 02/05/2023 16:17

Was it a man who raised the grievance?

I would be inclined to start a conversation about how women are more likely to be accused of being emotional about things than men and about how unconscious bias could likely have played a part in this

Original poster

Bristoluser · 02/05/2023 16:17

I worry that a grievance will cause me more stress. My husband is recovering from a serious illness and life has been stressful enough.

OP posts:

Original poster

Bristoluser · 02/05/2023 16:19

The thing is it's all subjective, nothing can really be proved either way.

OP posts:

Original poster

Bristoluser · 02/05/2023 16:20

I have never felt so misrepresented. And it's also weird with the thank you card and the voucher.

OP posts:

Cheetahmum · 02/05/2023 16:21

Bristoluser · 02/05/2023 16:19

The thing is it's all subjective, nothing can really be proved either way.

If nothing can be proved then you shouldn't be penalized for it. Definitely raise a grievance.

Original poster

Bristoluser · 02/05/2023 16:22

Yes I am being entirely honest. I really am. Obviously I could go into much more detail but this is the crux of it.

OP posts:

Bamboozleme · 02/05/2023 16:23

Your were taken off a project that you’d worked on for a long time
You were downgraded in your performance review

on the basis of what one person in the office “overheard”
🤔

Original poster

Bristoluser · 02/05/2023 16:28

No on the feedback from the team manager who had the same feedback about all of us but wasn't asked about the others

OP posts:

Beenaroundtheblocktoomanytimes · 02/05/2023 16:29

Vouchers usually only given to signify going 'above and beyond' so personally, I would raise a grievance.

Bamboozleme · 02/05/2023 16:35

So
on the basis of what “someone” in the office “overheard”

and generally positive feedback from your manager despite one minor point that he said applied to all other members of the team

you were taken off and received a poor performance report

op I will bow out. But good luck

Original poster

Bristoluser · 02/05/2023 17:27

So what do I do? I'm a hard worker, have contributed a lot and get on with my team mates.

OP posts:

Original poster

Bristoluser · 02/05/2023 17:30

And yes I got a £500 voucher for 'all my hard work' etc...

OP posts:

HungryandIknowit · 02/05/2023 17:32

If true I think you need to raise again with the senior manager and HR.

unfortunateevents · 02/05/2023 23:18

Very strange. Who on earth has provided the funds for the £500 voucher – has your team manager paid for this personally?! it does sound as if he is feeling guilty about the consequences of his remarks on your work and is trying to make it up to you. However, it doesn't seem that the situation of you being removed from the project should ever have arisen in the first place. Why have the other people on the conversation in question not also been removed from that project? If the suggestion is that yours was the only part of the conversation which could be heard by the person who complained, then it seems hugely unfair that you have been penalised based on half the story?

sunights · 14/09/2023 22:00

OP are you sure your manager and old team mates are being honest with you? I'm asking as the card and voucher sound off in these circumstances, and wondering if could have taken a fall for them and they are covering it up...

sunights · 14/09/2023 22:03

Following my thoughts above, as you don't want the stress of raising a grievance, maybe you could instead put in a subject access request to find out what has really been said about you?

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